Humor

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 5, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Hurricane Sandy I have a pretty hectic schedule in the fall. Between watching football, writing about football and making fun of fat people in this section, I barely have any time for sleep. I get 4-5 hours most nights. So, with that in…

Jerks of the Week for Oct. 29, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II I’m almost fully recovered. I’ve been having recurring nightmares about angry, fedora-wearing Asian men stealing my French toast, as detailed in the Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part I, but I’m nearly…

Jerks of the Week for Oct. 22, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football My girlfriend, Awesome Girl Who Loves Football, flew in to Philadelphia this past Wednesday night. I knew this meant three things: 1. I would spend an awesome weekend with her. 2. I wouldn’t get any work…

Jerks of the Week for Oct. 15, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Jeans I’m pretty sure it’s official – there are no more female bartenders at Tango. At least that seems to be the case on Friday nights. I went there two weeks ago and noticed that both bartenders were dudes. Despite the…

Jerks of the Week for Oct. 8, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Samsung Galaxy S III I’m not sure if you know this or not, but I like to make fun of people and various things on Jerks of the Week. Yes, it’s true. One of these various things arecommercials. I had a…

Jerks of the Week for Oct. 1, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created It’s almost election time. That only means one thing – half the people on Facebook are posting political crap like, “OMG OMG O’BAMA SPEND TO MUCH MONEE AND PUTTING US IN DETT!!!” or “OMG OMG ROMNEE…

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 24, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Visa Credit Card The week of Sept. 3 was pretty rough for me. My NFL Picks were terrible, so I lost tons of money as a degenerate gambler. The pool at my new gym was 78 degrees, which is way too…

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 17, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Mosquitoes I wrote three months ago that I’ve been having issues trying to build a deck. If you don’t feel like clicking the link, a deck company authorized by my neighborhood association wouldn’t call me back and lied to me about…

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 10, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Cakes & Art It’s been a long while since I’ve written about either of my two gyms. This is ironic because I’ve been going there nonstop with my friend and forum member Body Burner in an effort to lose weight. Body…

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 3, 2012 JERKS OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend I have some exciting news for you. It’s really going to blow your mind. No, really. I hope you’re sitting down for this because here it goes: The Blondtender raped me with a giant cucumber a couple of…