Humor

Jerks of the Week for March 12, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Shoe Bench Man Happy anniversary to me! What, you don’t know what anniversary this is? Hmph. Well, I think I’m going to withhold sex with you for a while. Unless you’re a hot girl, of course. Or an average-looking girl. Or…

Jerks of the Week for March 5, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: The Wednesday from Hell This was not going to be an ordinary Wednesday in February. I could sense it. Well, to be more accurate, Weather.com could sense it. The Web site told me that it was going to be 58 degrees…

Jerks of the Week for Feb. 20, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Valentine’s Day Jewelry Commercials There are many things I hate about ESPN. The unintelligent, grammatically challenged analysts whom they hire provide absolutely no insight. Their decision to ruin NFL Primetime, the best sports show on TV, was absolutely mind-boggling. And their insistence on…

Jerks of the Week for Feb. 13, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: High Wawa Man I’ve been going go the bar formerly known as Whiskey Tango (currently just Tango) every Friday for the past month or so. My friends and I have decided that it’s our bar. There’s no cover, the music’s not…

Jerks of the Week for Feb. 6, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Naughty Teacher Remember when everyone was outraged over the Jerry Sandusky scandal? People were furious because a man like that was allowed to be around kids for decades. The news even broke Twitter on several occasions. Now, it’s like, “meh.” Syracuse’s…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 30, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Homeless Carriage Woman I haven’t really discussed my new neighborhood very much. Unless I’m wrong, I think I referenced it twice thus far in Jerks of the Week. The first instance occurred when I was lucky enough to witness the Best…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 23, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Tango There’s something weird going on at my local bar. And no, I’m not talking about how the Racist KKK Bikers shout racial slurs at minorities, or all the random STDs that Drunkest Woman Ever hands out in the parking lot….

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 12, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Whiskey Tango I have some sad news to report. Whiskey Tango is closing. For those of you who haven’t read my previous entries about my local bar, you can read all about the satanic music, the racist KKK bikers and doomed…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 16, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Hot Tub Etiquette One thing that my new gym has that my old one didn’t, as you all know by now, is hot girls. All of the female patrons of my old gym need to be locked up in cages so they don’t…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 9, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist If all your notes are up to date, you know that I’ve joined a new gym because of the female members, better hours and lack of fat women who want to eat me. I do go back to…