Humor

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 30, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Homeless Carriage Woman I haven’t really discussed my new neighborhood very much. Unless I’m wrong, I think I referenced it twice thus far in Jerks of the Week. The first instance occurred when I was lucky enough to witness the Best…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 23, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Tango There’s something weird going on at my local bar. And no, I’m not talking about how the Racist KKK Bikers shout racial slurs at minorities, or all the random STDs that Drunkest Woman Ever hands out in the parking lot….

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 12, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Whiskey Tango I have some sad news to report. Whiskey Tango is closing. For those of you who haven’t read my previous entries about my local bar, you can read all about the satanic music, the racist KKK bikers and doomed…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 16, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Hot Tub Etiquette One thing that my new gym has that my old one didn’t, as you all know by now, is hot girls. All of the female patrons of my old gym need to be locked up in cages so they don’t…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 9, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist If all your notes are up to date, you know that I’ve joined a new gym because of the female members, better hours and lack of fat women who want to eat me. I do go back to…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 2, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of Parx Casino I spent most of my New Year’s Eve two years ago at Parx Casino, a new place that opened up around the corner from my house. I was excited to gamble all of my money away that night, but…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 19, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio’s) My friend and forum member Body Burners has told me that it’s his life goal to make it on Jerks of the Week. Every time I see him, he asks me, “What do I have to do right…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 26, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK: Christmas Jerks of the Mall I’ve chronicled my Christmas shopping trips to the mall the past two years. In 2009, I nearly killed a Native American skateboarder, and then an old couple thought I was a smelly bum. The following December, I listed…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 12, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK: Lexus December to Remember Commercials Christmas is a great holiday. There’s nothing like driving to the mall, seeing all the colorful lights along the way, and buying presents for myself. People say that Christmas is the holiday of giving. Well, giving presents to…

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 14, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Jerks of the Halloween Party I had my annual Halloween party a couple of weeks ago. This made me excited because: 1. My sister told me she was going to make dinosaur chicken nuggets. 2. Hot chicks wearing slutty outfits would…