Humor

Jerks of the Week: April 21, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: How I Met My Cell Phone The Year 2035 Kids, I’m going to tell you an incredible story: The story of how I met my cell phone. Slut Daughter: Ugh, dad, I don’t have time for this. I have dudes to bang. Dumb Son:…

Jerks of the Week: April 14, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: Bad Omens Monday I don’t want to depress you, but I have some sad news to report. A man in Philadelphia committed suicide Monday when he jumped in front of a train near the Jenkintown Station. This was a terrible series of events, and…

Jerks of the Week: April 7, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: Clothes Shopping Every time I hang out with my sister, she always greets me the same way. It’s not “hey” or “What’s up?” or “How are you?” It’s “I got you that shirt!” That always happens to be the case because she has purchased…

Jerk of the Year: How I Met Your Mother Finale JERK OF THE YEAR: How I Met Your Mother Finale SPOILERS!!! There are tons of spoilers here, so if you haven’t seen the How I Met Your Mother finale, please come back later. If you haven’t watched the final couple of seasons at all, and…

Jerks of the Week: March 31, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: April Fools and April Truths II I was utterly shocked to realize that Jerks of the Week is nearly five years old. What started as a rant about how my date to a wedding ditched me for a barbeque transformed into a major section…

Jerks of the Week: March 24, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: Downtown Business Meeting My best friend of 26 years lives in downtown Philly. One of my cousins, Diana, has had a downtown home for about a decade. Yet, I haven’t hung out with the former since this past August, while I haven’t seen Diana…

Jerks of the Week: March 17, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Old Gym It feels good to type “Jerks of the Old Gym.” It’s very comforting. It makes me reminisce about all of the great times I had at my old gym in the past. For instance, I wrote about how I…

Jerks of the Week: March 10, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: Winter Olympics I hate the Olympics. I really do. I feel like a broken record because I write the same thing every two years, but nothing I publish can properly describe my disdain for these games. One thing I can’t stand is that everyone…

Jerks of the Week: March 3, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: Valentine’s Day Commercials 2014 There were three days I absolutely dreaded while growing up. The first was my annual visit to the dentist. My mom took me to a place called Brushie Land where they had clowns and arcade games in the waiting room…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 24, 2014 JERK OF THE WEEK: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood I discussed the power outage last week and how I had to update this Web site from Saladworks. Well, the kind people at Saladworks allowed me to stay there an hour after they closed, but everyone…