Humor

Jerks of the Week: June 26, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Unicorns, Cheapskates and Stalkers at Starbucks I must admit something to you all, and you’re going to hate me for it. But I just have to get it off my chest before this secret consumes my soul: I like going to Starbucks. There, I…

Jerks of the Week: June 19, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Jerks at the June Wedding Prior to Jerks of the Week beginning in May 2009, I had never been to a wedding before. I was beginning to think that I’d never been invited to one. Hell, I was convinced that I wouldn’t be invited…

Jerks of the Week: June 12, 2017 Jerks of the Week: The Eighth Day at Best Buy I recently wrote a Jerks of the Week entry where I discussed why I went to Best Buy seven days in a row. It was quite the saga, filled with lumberjacks, broken computers and lesbian porno stars. If…

Jerks of the Week: June 5, 2017 Jerks of the Week: A Crappy Saturday Before I get to why a recent Saturday of mine was so crappy, I must tell you about a crappy person my friend Body Burner told me about when he called me the previous day. The following italicized words are what…

Jerks of the Week: May 29, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Plagiarism Accusations I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “my phone is blowing up.” I certainly have, but I’ve never said it. Prior to a recent Monday, my phone had never blown up; not in the figurative sense, nor in Ceelo Green-type fashion. I’m being…

Jerks of the Week: May 15, 2017 Trouble at Water Aerobics Class I’ve touched on the water aerobics class at my gym on a couple of occasions. The first time I mentioned it, I was pissed because I had to wait for the class to finish before I could go swimming. I noted how most…

Jerks of the Week: May 22, 2017 The Best Buy Trilogy: 2017 Edition I sat next to a lumberjack at Best Buy. I kid you not. Well, he at least looked like a lumberjack. He was a grizzled man in his 60s with a scruffy white beard. He wore a red-and-black flannel shirt, jeans and…

Jerks of the Week: May 8, 2017 Jerks at the Card Show I’ve written about Neshaminy Mall countless times in Jerks of the Week. The mall, which is pretty much around the corner from my house, features countless weirdos, skanky 13-year-old girls who flirt with anyone with a pair of lungs, and workers who try…

Jerks of the Week: May 1, 2017 Jerk of the Week: Wendy’s I used to think the dumbest people on the planet were Starbucks-drinking protestors, but I have since changed my mind. They are still incredibly worthless, but they are at least better than people at Wal-Mart. I never used to go to Wal-Mart because…

Jerks of the Week: April 24, 2017 Jerk of the Year: Hackers I had a nice Jerks of the Week entry prepared for your reading pleasure today. Scratch that. It was a Jerk of the Year entry. It was written about perhaps the dumbest person I’ve ever met, and the actual Jerk of the Year…