Humor

Jerks of the Week: April 25, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Toxic Hell, Revisited The ninth-ever Jerks of the Week entry I created back in 2009 was about three topics: A rude Mexican family at some diner I used to frequent; Little Caesar – a guy I gave this nickname to; not the pizza chain;…

Jerks of the Week: April 18, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Starbucks Sucks I just performed the following Google search: “WalterFootball Jerks of the Week Starbucks” in order to see if I’ve ever written about Starbucks before. Numerous results came back, but all of them fell under one of two categories: Writing about the sorts…

Jerks of the Week: April 11, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of Bizarro Rite-Aid I haven’t written about Rite-Aid in a while. That’s because I haven’t gone there in quite some time. It’s not close to where I live anymore; it’s right by my parents’ house, so if I need to pick up a…

Jerks of the Week: April 4, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: April Fools and April Truths IV I might be the most forgetful person of all time, which is weird because I have a great memory. Yeah, I know, that makes no sense, but hear me out. For instance, I can almost always recall the…

Jerks of the Week: March 28, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Battle of the Gyms: Old Gym vs. LA Fitness I’m not any sort of music connoisseur. I don’t think I can name five bands, I’ve never been to a concert, and back a couple of years ago, I thought Hannah Montana was a porn…

Jerks of the Week: March 21, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Random Pictures on My Phone My girlfriend and I went out to celebrate her final day at a job she held for a long time, but didn’t like very much. The restaurant we went to was none other than Nifty Fifty’s, a 50s-style burgers-and-shakes…

Jerks of the Week: March 14, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Meshack and Marco Manilla It’s hard to believe that I spent half of my life without Facebook. I couldn’t imagine existing without it right now. Whereas the concept of social media didn’t even exist prior to my first few years at Penn State, Facebook…

Jerks of the Week: March 7, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Lucifer Several years ago, my friend Josh stated that we’re in the golden ages of TV and the dark ages of music. He was certainly right. Between Lost, the Wire, 24, Breaking Bad, the Walking Dead, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Battlestar Galactica and…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 29, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: An Afternoon at McDonald’s I never imagined that I would be eating at a McDonald’s mere weeks after berating the horrendous McPick2 commercial, but there I was, sitting on my couch, as my girlfriend’s nephew continuously pelted me with my own Nerf gun. I…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 22, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Night at the Spa: My First Massage Ever Last week, I wrote about my experience purchasing a gift card for my mom at Hand & Stone Massage and Facial Spa. Little did I know that just a few days later, I would be going…