Humor

Jerks of the Week: May 1, 2017 Jerk of the Week: Wendy’s I used to think the dumbest people on the planet were Starbucks-drinking protestors, but I have since changed my mind. They are still incredibly worthless, but they are at least better than people at Wal-Mart. I never used to go to Wal-Mart because…

Jerks of the Week: April 24, 2017 Jerk of the Year: Hackers I had a nice Jerks of the Week entry prepared for your reading pleasure today. Scratch that. It was a Jerk of the Year entry. It was written about perhaps the dumbest person I’ve ever met, and the actual Jerk of the Year…

Jerks of the Week: April 17, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: Pepsi Commercial, McDonald’s Commercial, Twitter Blockers When I tell people I don’t drink coffee at all, they look at me like I have five heads. Not two heads, as that would be super normal compared to not drinking coffee, apparently. I hate coffee. I…

Jerks of the Week: April 10, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: New Marriage, Angry Marriage For those of you who don’t follow my football content and only come in for Jerks of the Week, I need to preface this entry by pointing out that the middle of March is an insanely busy time for me….

Jerks of the Week: April 3, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: April Fools and April Truths V I can’t imagine most people feel this way, but I liked getting yelled at by superiors. It always made me work harder to appease them. For instance, I had a teacher for three years in high school who…

Jerks of the Week: March 27, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: Get Out and the Death of Macy’s I’ve complained about how horrible Hollywood has been as far as its movie-making creativity is concerned over the lifespan of Jerks of the Week. Movies have blown for the most part over the past decade, with everything…

Jerks of the Week: March 20, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: Talking Buses and the Quarter Thief My fiancee came home from work on a recent Friday evening, and told me that we had plans the following day. “We’re watching Zach tomorrow afternoon,” she said. This meant only one thing: I was going to die….

Jerks of the Week: March 13, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: Baja Fresh and Food Douches One of the saddest moments of my life was when I learned that the Tijuana Flats 10 minutes away from my house was closing. For those of you who have never heard of it, Tijuana Flats is an awesome…

Jerks of the Week: March 6, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 4 Last week, I wrote Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 3, which involved almost breaking my back at the actual Super Bowl party I went to, nearly getting poisoned at an eatery, and trying some…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 27, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 3 Last week, I wrote Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 2, which involved going to a $400 “Leather and Lacy” party and nearly freezing to death in unusually frigid Houston weather. On the bright side,…