Humor

Jerks of the Week: July 20, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Stupid People in My Neighborhood I wrote about my girlfriend and I buying a new dog a few months ago. It’s now been more than half a year since we’ve gotten Sherlock, our boxer mix, and I’ve come to realize that I have more…

Jerks of the Week: July 13, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Sherlock Walt, and the Cases of the Scrambled Eggs and Missing Pepsi Bag The previous time I wrote about the gym in Jerks of the Week, I vowed to ask Homeless Grudge Woman what the hell she’s doing by continuously walking around the pool…

Jerks of the Week: July 6, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 2 Last time on Jerks of the Week, I began talking about the Jersey Shore, but got sidetracked by our trip through the stinky, third-world country of Camden, as well as the fact that I was nearly…

Jerks of the Week: June 29, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 1 My girlfriend and I haven’t had much luck in terms of going on vacation this summer. With various obligations, issues with her coworkers hogging up numerous weeks, and some terrible predictions by weather forecasters, it’s been…

Jerks of the Week: June 22, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Philadelphia Writers’ Conference – 2015 Edition I want to publish a couple of books sometime soon, and to do so, I have to find a literary agent who can help promote what I write on top of what I can do via this…

Jerks of the Week: June 15, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Tales from the Baby Pool The baby pool – or the kiddie pool, as I incorrectly referred to it before – has been something I’ve discussed in previous jerks entries. For those who missed it, it’s a pseudo hot tub at my gym. Since…

Jerks of the Week: June 8, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Uzbekistan I hate Uzbekistan. It’s the worst. I wish it would just blow up and cease to exist. That would make me extremely happy. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Walt, you can’t publicly hate on a country like this! Uzbeki (Uzbekistani? Uzbekisti?) terrorists…

Jerks of the Week: June 1, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Memorial Day Grocery Shopping at Giant One of my good friends hates holidays. He despises Thanksgiving, Halloween, and even Christmas. “There’s just too much stupid s*** you have to do on them,” he once told me. “I’d rather just go to work, quite honestly.”…

Jerks of the Week: May 25, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: A Tale of Four Neighborhoods: Con Artists, Dog Poop and a Stolen Watch I scoffed at something I saw on Twitter recently. No, it wasn’t the sort of douchey tweet from a politically correct hipster that I’ve complained about in the past. After all,…

Jerks of the Week: May 20, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Roger Goodell and the NFL I wonder if Roger Goodell goes to sleep every night wondering why everyone hates him. Does he constantly think, Why does everyone boo me everywhere I go? as he tosses and turns in bed, trying desperately to escape into…