Humor

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 21, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Cobb Salads and Gym Desk Workers Who Hate Me I don’t think I’ve ever gotten along with anyone at the front desk of any of my gyms. For instance, the girl working the desk at my previous gym was this super-hot blonde named Sarah,…

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 14, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Halloween and the Election When I used to be single, I looked forward to Halloween. Hearing the doorbell ring made me extremely happy. That’s because one of three things would happen: 1. Goofy-looking kids with terrible costumes would be there, and I’d be able…

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 7, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Grub Burger Bar My schedule in the fall is extremely busy, as you might imagine. I barely get out of the house. In fact, there was one Monday recently in which I didn’t go to the gym because I was behind on work, so…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 31, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Old Lady Hate, Old Lady Love The title I conjured up for this particular Jerks of the Week entry makes it sound like some sort of porno involving an 80-year-old woman, but I can assure you that there won’t be any nude pictures or…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 24, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Timeless I think summer will always be my favorite season, but autumn is a close second. Of course, football is back, but there are other reasons to like it as well. The annoying kids in my neighborhood go back to school, so I don’t…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 17, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Vuse Odyssey When I left the house one recent Saturday afternoon, I had one simple request from my fiancee: “Can you pick up a cartridge of Vuse originals on your way back from the gym?” That may not sound difficult to you, and…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 10, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Seven Years South Park is usually on the money with the points they make, though when I saw one particular episode years ago, I didn’t think much of it at the time. It was the episode where Stan is diagnosed as a cynical a**hole…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 3, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Tales of the Ailing Foot My foot has been killing me for two weeks. Like, literally killing me – as in waking up in the middle of the night, creeping down to my kitchen, grabbing a knife and stabbing me in the gut repeatedly….

Jerks of the Week: Sept. 26, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Twelve Girls, Five Boys, $55 Million, and the Future Is it just me, or is the news especially depressing to listen to right now? People have always been a**holes, but they’ve apparently taken their a**holeishness to a new level in recent months, with all…

Jerks of the Week: Sept. 19, 2016 JERK OF THE WEEK: Dead Man in My Pool There was a dead man floating in my parents’ swimming pool during my engagement party. Holy s**t! Is he really dead!? I heard someone shout from behind me. He really was dead. I didn’t know what the hell I…