Humor

Jerks of the Week: May 18, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Catching Up on Gym Jerks: Two Abominations, Two Creeps and a Monster I know it hasn’t been years since I’ve written about the jerks at my gym, but it sure feels like it. That’s because my last gym jerks entry – in which I…

Jerks of the Week: May 11, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: A Racist, a Woman-Beater and a Horse – the Greatest Sports Day Ever If you’ve been living under a rock, or if you’ve been unfortunate enough to have been trapped inside Rosie O’Donnell’s stomach after she accidentally ate you, you may not be aware…

Jerks of the Week: May 4, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Puppy-Training Classes I bought my girlfriend a puppy for Christmas. I didn’t actually get it on Christmas; that’s when I told her I would buy one for her. We decided that we would both pick one out. After doing some research, we came across…

Jerks of the Week: April 27, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Gym Jerks – with Pictures! It has occurred to me that you may not believe everything I write – particularly when it comes to making fun of the people at my gym. If I’m right, I don’t blame you. How can there be a…

Jerks of the Week: April 20, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: It Follows My friend Body Burner messaged me on Facebook a recent Saturday afternoon and asked me if I wanted to hang out. I declined, telling him that I was planning on seeing It Follows at the movies with my girlfriend. His reaction: Body…

Jerks of the Week: April 13, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Bottom Dollar Closes – Part II Last week, I announced that Bottom Dollar had shut down. I wrote some stories and also revealed why Bottom Dollar went out of business: If you missed it, it’s because the former president of Bottom Dollar, none other…

Jerks of the Week: April 6, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Bottom Dollar Closes – Part I I’ve received complaints that I haven’t written about Bottom Dollar Food in Jerks of the Week for a long time. I can offer two explanations for this. The first is that I quite simply haven’t shopped there in…

Jerks of the Week: March 30, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: April Fools and April Truths III I’m kicking myself right now. When I wrote my April Fools and April Truths II a year ago, I hatched a plan to contact Jonathan Frakes, the host of a show that used to air in the late…

Jerks of the Week: March 23, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Old Man, the Heroic Man, and the Desperate Man The week of March 9 was absolutely brutal for me. I’m sure no one else was a fan of March 9 either, given that the clocks moved forward the night before. I saw someone…

Jerks of the Week: March 16, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: The News: Predators, Mushrooms, the Weather and the Undead Some people say that journalism is a dying profession. In fact, an old man told me I don’t have a real job a couple of weeks ago. This old man did attempt to pimp out…