Humor

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 16, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Halloween 2015 Someone who has children has to answer this question for me: What the hell happened to Halloween? Seriously. What happened to Halloween, and why does it suck now? When I was growing up, I used to go out every Oct. 31 –…

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 9, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks at My Sister’s Wedding – Part 2 I discussed the first part of the Jerks of My Sister’s Wedding here, if you missed it. If you’re fat and lazy like me, and you feel like it would take too much energy to click…

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 2, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks at My Sister’s Wedding – Part 1 I never thought I would be angry upon learning that my sister would be getting married, but that was the case last Thanksgiving when she and her fiance, Rich, made the announcement. Sister: We’re getting married!…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 26, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Shirtless A**hole Brigade I’ve written about a plethora of people in my neighborhood over the five years I’ve been living here. From Indian kids who stole cookies from me, to homeless women pushing carriages with dead squirrels inside, to an Asian drug dealer…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 19, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Weight Gain and VANDALISM I usually pack on several pounds during the fall. If you’re wondering if Halloween candy as well as Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts are the culprit, you’re only half right. I definitely eat a ton on those holidays – as well…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 12, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Gym Pool I’ve written countless Jerks of the Week columns this year about people at my gym. I’ve written about Grandpa Pimp, who wants me to marry his one “stupid” granddaughter so that he can have a “normal” grandson-in-law, as opposed…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 5, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Papal Visit 2015 I’ve written about this before, but it’s astonishing how different news broadcasts are between here in Philadelphia and the middle of the state. I went to Penn State, and I used to laugh at the…

Jerks of the Week: Sept. 28, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 2 In case you missed it, I wrote about my second trip to the Jersey Shore this summer. Check it out to read all about the most spoiled brat of all time, a fat woman…

Jerks of the Week: Sept. 21, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 1 I wrote about a trip I made to the Jersey Shore back at the end of June. With the summer winding town rather quickly, I decided that I needed one more trip there. After…

Jerks of the Week: Sept. 14, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Tubing Down the Delaware: A Near-Death Experience “Want to come tubing down the Delaware on Saturday for my sister’s birthday?” “Hell no!” “Come on, it’ll be fun!” “No, it won’t. It’ll be terrible!” “Don’t be such a curmudgeon! We’ll have a blast! Please go?”…