Humor

Jerks of the Week: April 20, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: It Follows My friend Body Burner messaged me on Facebook a recent Saturday afternoon and asked me if I wanted to hang out. I declined, telling him that I was planning on seeing It Follows at the movies with my girlfriend. His reaction: Body…

Jerks of the Week: April 13, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Bottom Dollar Closes – Part II Last week, I announced that Bottom Dollar had shut down. I wrote some stories and also revealed why Bottom Dollar went out of business: If you missed it, it’s because the former president of Bottom Dollar, none other…

Jerks of the Week: April 6, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Bottom Dollar Closes – Part I I’ve received complaints that I haven’t written about Bottom Dollar Food in Jerks of the Week for a long time. I can offer two explanations for this. The first is that I quite simply haven’t shopped there in…

Jerks of the Week: March 30, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: April Fools and April Truths III I’m kicking myself right now. When I wrote my April Fools and April Truths II a year ago, I hatched a plan to contact Jonathan Frakes, the host of a show that used to air in the late…

Jerks of the Week: March 23, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Old Man, the Heroic Man, and the Desperate Man The week of March 9 was absolutely brutal for me. I’m sure no one else was a fan of March 9 either, given that the clocks moved forward the night before. I saw someone…

Jerks of the Week: March 16, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: The News: Predators, Mushrooms, the Weather and the Undead Some people say that journalism is a dying profession. In fact, an old man told me I don’t have a real job a couple of weeks ago. This old man did attempt to pimp out…

Jerks of the Week: March 9, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Valentine’s Day Gifts Is it just me, or have the cheesy Valentine’s Day jewelry commercials disappeared? I used to make them a jerks entry every year – in fact, I made fun of them as recently as last March – and it was always…

Jerks of the Week: March 2, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Disappearing Jerks: the Loser, the Douche, the Hobo and My Food Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook might be expecting a detailed Jerks of the Week entry about Jerry Jackson. And if you’re not friends with me on Facebook, you…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 23, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Gym Patrons and Their Mistakes I’m so glad that AFC Fitness took down my advertisement. I went to that gym quite often because it was closer to my house than the old gym, but it just wasn’t as fun. I knew fewer people there;…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 16, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Return to Kyoto – The Japanese Nightmare I had a nightmare recently where I was forced to go to a baseball game. This family I’ve never met before – comprised of a stern-looking father, a short mother and their fat daughter – forced me…