Humor

Jerks of the Week: Aug. 3, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Walt Goes to Vegas – Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport People were always shocked when I used to tell them that I had never been to Las Vegas before. “But you’re a degenerate sports gambler!” they’d say. This is absolutely true, but I…

Jerks of the Week: July 27, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Cookies, Chips and Bombs There were various points in my life when I never thought I would say this, but I am in love. And it has nothing to do with looks. Don’t get me wrong, though; the object of my affection is easy…

Jerks of the Week: July 20, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Stupid People in My Neighborhood I wrote about my girlfriend and I buying a new dog a few months ago. It’s now been more than half a year since we’ve gotten Sherlock, our boxer mix, and I’ve come to realize that I have more…

Jerks of the Week: July 13, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Sherlock Walt, and the Cases of the Scrambled Eggs and Missing Pepsi Bag The previous time I wrote about the gym in Jerks of the Week, I vowed to ask Homeless Grudge Woman what the hell she’s doing by continuously walking around the pool…

Jerks of the Week: July 6, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 2 Last time on Jerks of the Week, I began talking about the Jersey Shore, but got sidetracked by our trip through the stinky, third-world country of Camden, as well as the fact that I was nearly…

Jerks of the Week: June 29, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 1 My girlfriend and I haven’t had much luck in terms of going on vacation this summer. With various obligations, issues with her coworkers hogging up numerous weeks, and some terrible predictions by weather forecasters, it’s been…

Jerks of the Week: June 22, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Philadelphia Writers’ Conference – 2015 Edition I want to publish a couple of books sometime soon, and to do so, I have to find a literary agent who can help promote what I write on top of what I can do via this…

Jerks of the Week: June 15, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Tales from the Baby Pool The baby pool – or the kiddie pool, as I incorrectly referred to it before – has been something I’ve discussed in previous jerks entries. For those who missed it, it’s a pseudo hot tub at my gym. Since…

Jerks of the Week: June 8, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Uzbekistan I hate Uzbekistan. It’s the worst. I wish it would just blow up and cease to exist. That would make me extremely happy. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Walt, you can’t publicly hate on a country like this! Uzbeki (Uzbekistani? Uzbekisti?) terrorists…

Jerks of the Week: June 1, 2015 JERK OF THE WEEK: Memorial Day Grocery Shopping at Giant One of my good friends hates holidays. He despises Thanksgiving, Halloween, and even Christmas. “There’s just too much stupid s*** you have to do on them,” he once told me. “I’d rather just go to work, quite honestly.”…