Humor

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 10, 2020 Jerks of the Week: The Golden Global Awards and the British Royals Some of you might lose respect for me when I say this, but so be it. I don’t want to lie. I watched a movie awards show. Now, let me explain. I did this once. I…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 3, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Tiny Lifeguard, Cookie Monster Lady, Handsome Men in the Locker Room I hardly go to the gym in the morning. Hell, I’m hardly awake in the morning. The earliest I tend to wake up when it’s not football season is 11:30 a.m., and that’s…

Jerks of the Week: Jan. 27, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Worst Best Dinner Ever: My Nifty Fifty’s Saga I can be decisive when it comes to important things, but never when it involves trivial matters. For instance, my wife and I have this sort of conversation almost every night: Wife: What do you want…

Jerks of the Week: Jan. 20, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Millennials and Man Buns I just came back inside from walking my new dog Raven, who has a fear of grown men. I wrote about this in the linked Jerks entry; we think she must have been abused by a male because she growls…

Jerks of the Week: Jan. 13, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Happy New Year, 2020 I can’t believe it’s 2020. Seriously, it’s bizarre. I recall being a student in grade school, writing dates like 3/22/93 on my papers, wondering what the year 2020 would be like. Would I be married? Would I have kids? Would…

Jerks of the Week: Jan. 6, 2020 Jerks of the Week: My New Dog, Raven My wife and I just adopted a new dog. Her name is Raven, and she’s slightly more than a year old. We have no idea what breed she is; she’s some sort of mix. Here’s a picture: She’s a sweet…

Jerks of the Week: Dec. 30, 2019 Jerks of the Week: The Return of Facebook Beggar I wish I could re-visit all of my old Jerks of the Week targets. I’d love to know what No Space Man is up to, for example. No Space Man was a guy at my old gym who told…

Jerks of the Week: Dec. 23, 2019 Jerks of the Week: Daughter for Sale I’ve written countless Jerks of the Week entries about the LA Fitness pool, but there were hardly any hot girls around my age featured in these stories. That’s because there really aren’t any. Off the top of my head, I once…

Jerks of the Week: Dec. 16, 2019 Jerks of the Week: Mall Joker I don’t think I’ve ever wished that superheroes existed more than I did on a recent Wednesday evening. Forget all of the school shootings, and mall shootings, and even 9/11. What occurred on a recent Wednesday evening was far worse. My wife…

Jerks of the Week: Dec. 9, 2019 Jerks of the Week: Downton Abbey: The Movie I’m sure many of you have heard of Downton Abbey. If not, it was a show on PBS that aired for several seasons. It was about a wealthy family that lived in a huge estate called, you guessed it, Downton…