Humor

Jerks of the Week: June 29, 2020 Jerks of the Week: YouTube Workout Videos I never really understood why professional athletes can’t play past their late 30s. Sure, there have been some exceptions like Tom Brady, Gordie Howe and various NFL kickers – just kidding; kickers aren’t athletes – but for the most part, sports…

Jerks of the Week: June 22, 2020 Jerks of the Week: CHAZ Losers I’ve been making fun of the morons in CHAZ for a decade. It’s true. And I have proof. Back in November of 2009, I wrote an entry about Multi-Colored Face Girl, a chick who showed up to my Halloween party with a…

Jerks of the Week: June 15, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Quarantine Stories III: My Dog’s Lover I’ve had enough of my neighbors. Though the lockdown is still ongoing in Pennsylvania – our governor, Tom Wolf, is an idiot – everyone is outside. This hasn’t pleased the leader of our township, some woman named Barbara,…

Jerks of the Week: June 8, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Quarantine Stories II I’m sure some of you didn’t see your parents for a while once the Covid-related quarantine was installed in the middle of March. In fact, one of my friends, who hasn’t seen his parents, dropped off a present at his mom’s…

Jerks of the Week: June 1, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Quarantine Stories This won’t surprise any of you, but I didn’t get out much in April. I was basically stuck at home the entire month, unable to go anywhere. Aside from walking my dog, I didn’t even see the sun. In fact, I nearly…

Jerks of the Week: May 25, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Welcome to Miami, Part 7: Peruvian Problems and Taco Island In Part 1 of Welcome to Miami, I flew first class under the guise of Maximillian Cucumber VIII. In Part 2 of Welcome to Miami, I entered a party under the guise of Leonys…

Jerks of the Week: May 18, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Welcome to Miami, Part 6: Peruvian Problems and Taco Island In Part 1 of Welcome to Miami, I flew first class under the guise of Maximillian Cucumber VIII. In Part 2 of Welcome to Miami, I entered a party under the guise of Leonys…

Jerks of the Week: May 11, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Welcome to Miami, Part 5: Hot Women with Hair Problems In Part 1 of Welcome to Miami, I flew first class under the guise of Maximillian Cucumber VIII. In Part 2 of Welcome to Miami, I entered a party under the guise of Leonys…

Jerks of the Week: May 4, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Welcome to Miami, Part 4: The Best Burger Place in the World In Part 1 of Welcome to Miami, I flew first class under the guise of Maximillian Cucumber VIII. In Part 2 of Welcome to Miami, I entered a party under the guise…

Jerks of the Week: April 27, 2020 Jerks of the Week: ESPN’s 2020 NFL Draft Coverage I’d like to interrupt the Welcome to Miami seven-part series to discuss the 2020 NFL Draft. My adventures in Miami will return next week, but given that the 2020 NFL Draft just occurred, I thought it was necessary to…