Humor

Jerks of the Week: June 14, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Let’s Go to the Movies! My wife made a strange suggestion the other day: “Let’s go to the movies!” Wait, what’s that? The mow-vees? What in tarnation was she talking about? Then, it suddenly hit me. Prior to the pandemic, there were these places…

Jerks of the Week: June 7, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Vaccine in Pool Lady, Temperature Fiend and Murphy’s Law Man I recently had a three-way conversation over the phone with two of my older friends, Dale and Larry. We hadn’t seen each other since the lockdown began, so we asked each other what we…

Jerks of the Week: May 31, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Current Events II I published a Jerks of the Week entry called Current Events, which was a smash hit. Just kidding, I didn’t look at the metrics, so I have no idea how it did. It’s possible that no one read it, and it’s…

Jerks of the Week: May 24, 2021 Jerks of the Week: NextDoor Vice President Joe Biden took a break from heroically falling up the stairs and sniffing young girls’ hair to address the nation recently. Though many expected him to have the look of an elderly person in a retirement home who didn’t know what…

Jerks of the Week: May 17, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Current Events I have a confession to make. I cheated on a current events project in my fourth-grade social studies class. Phew. I’m so glad I got that off my chest. It’s been weighing on me for 28 years. Now, I’ve finally been unshackled…

Jerks of the Week: May 10, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Elon on SNL I used to know this guy who was considered the coolest dude on the planet. You know the saying, “Every man wants to be him, and every girl wants to be with him?” That was this guy. He had countless friends,…

Jerks of the Week: May 3, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Death of Neshaminy Mall My wife found some holes in my boxer briefs, so I needed to buy new ones. Now, if you’re a man, you might be thinking, “Walt, why the hell would you need new boxer briefs if yours only have…

Jerks of the Week: April 26, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Jekyll and Hyde Gym Patrons If you’re not surprised that I don’t go to the gym on Sundays for almost half the year, then you have no idea what I do for a living. If that’s the case, why are you even on…

Jerks of the Week: April 19, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Frank Sebastiano We received some incredible news recently. Or so I thought. When Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced that his state would be lifting its mask mandate and re-opening everything to 100-percent capacity, I figured everyone would be happy about it. And why wouldn’t…

Jerks of the Week: April 12, 2021 Jerks of the Week: A Sad Easter For My Not-So-Secret Admirer I never anticipated going to the gym on Easter. My initial plans were to get beaten up by highly skilled ninjas. What, you don’t believe me? This is not an April Fools or April Truths story, I…