Humor

Jerks of the Week: March 16, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Wuhan Coronavirus If you were to rank all of the people on Earth most prepared for the Wuhan Coronavirus, I wouldn’t be at the top, but I’d be pretty damn close. I’ll concede that those with bunkers stocked with years’ worth of supplies are…

Jerks of the Week: March 9, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Car Inspections My wife and both my parents have been trying to convince me to buy a new car for quite some time. “Walt, you have an old car,” my mom said when we were out to dinner one night. “Just buy a new…

Jerks of the Week: March 2, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Star Trek Picard Many of you may not know this, but I’m a big Star Trek fan. It all started when I was 12 years old. It was a rainy, Saturday afternoon, and I was hanging out with my best friend Josh in my…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 24, 2020 Jerk of the Year: Nephtali Diaz Imagine hating someone so much that you constantly obsess with them and post nonsensical things on their Facebook wall. I personally could not do that. I’m someone who is more likely to silently plot revenge for years until my goal is achieved….

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 17, 2020 Jerks of the Week: 2020 Oscars Golden Academy Awards and the Dana Schwartz South Park Tweet I commended Ricky Gervais on his excellent speech in last week’s Jerks of the Week entry where I discussed the Golden Global Awards and the British Royals. As I was breaking down…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 10, 2020 Jerks of the Week: The Golden Global Awards and the British Royals Some of you might lose respect for me when I say this, but so be it. I don’t want to lie. I watched a movie awards show. Now, let me explain. I did this once. I…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 3, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Tiny Lifeguard, Cookie Monster Lady, Handsome Men in the Locker Room I hardly go to the gym in the morning. Hell, I’m hardly awake in the morning. The earliest I tend to wake up when it’s not football season is 11:30 a.m., and that’s…

Jerks of the Week: Jan. 27, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Worst Best Dinner Ever: My Nifty Fifty’s Saga I can be decisive when it comes to important things, but never when it involves trivial matters. For instance, my wife and I have this sort of conversation almost every night: Wife: What do you want…

Jerks of the Week: Jan. 20, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Millennials and Man Buns I just came back inside from walking my new dog Raven, who has a fear of grown men. I wrote about this in the linked Jerks entry; we think she must have been abused by a male because she growls…

Jerks of the Week: Jan. 13, 2020 Jerks of the Week: Happy New Year, 2020 I can’t believe it’s 2020. Seriously, it’s bizarre. I recall being a student in grade school, writing dates like 3/22/93 on my papers, wondering what the year 2020 would be like. Would I be married? Would I have kids? Would…