Humor

Jerks of the Week for April 19, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: People Who Cry Racist I hate people who cry racist. They are jerks. And unfortunately, they’ve apparently multiplied ever since Barack Obama was sworn into office. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me refer you to a sample…

Jerks of the Week: April 5, 2021 Jerks of the Week: April Fools and April Truths IX: College Edition I can’t believe I’ve been writing April Fools and April Truths for nine years! That’s incredible. It’s also depressing because I’ve been promising Jonathan Frakes for nine years, and yet I’ve failed to deliver. For those…

Jerks of the Week: March 29, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Double Jolly Rancher Experiment I have two grave pieces of news to share with you. I’m going to break them apart because discussing them simultaneously would prompt me to have a mental breakdown. Grave Piece of News No. 1: I haven’t eaten candy…

Jerks of the Week: March 22, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Purple Building If you’ve ever sat at the bar with your friends – wow, remember how great that was? – and discussed who has the worst teeth in the world, I can finally answer that for you. Some guesses may have been Michael…

Jerks of the Week: March 15, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Megan Muggle Interview I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about this morning. I woke up in a delirious state, thanks to the pain meds I’ve been taking following my oral surgery. I just got my wisdom teeth removed, likely becoming…

Jerks of the Week: March 8, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Eric Holthaus: Bitcoin Feminist I miss the good old days when we didn’t have to listen to every idiot’s opinions. Facebook and Twitter didn’t exist, so the only takes anyone heard were from people they knew, or those thehy listened to on television or…

Jerks of the Week: March 1, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Return of Giant Bean Stock Lady I once met a woman who thought I sell bean stalks for a living. It’s true. I actually wrote about this individual in a Jerks of the Week entry entitled, Giant Bean Stock Lady. This was about…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 22, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Pale Swimmer Girl and Dog Doo Doo I’ve asked this before, yet I still haven’t heard an acceptable answer to this question: Why do people live in northern cities? I understand that some people must live in New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Pittsburgh, Detroit, etc….

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 15, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The $300 Snitch It’s amazing how much things can change in a span of just a few years. Back in 2017, I was unmarried, and the thought of locking down for a quarantine never even crossed anyone’s mind. Meanwhile, my eldest nephew, Zach, was…

Jerks of the Week: Feb. 8, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Water Up the Butt Perhaps I’m dating myself by saying this, but Demolition Man was one of my favorite movies as a kid. If you’ve never seen it, the movie stars Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes, playing John Spartan and Simon Phoenix, respectively. Not…