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Fantasy Scrubs of the Week:
2011 Playoff NFL Power Rankings
Follow @walterfootball for updates.
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New York Giants (13-7) – Previously: #1 – Congratulations to the Giants for winning the Super Bowl again. I can’t say I have any regrets for picking the Patriots though. I noted on my picks page that I wouldn’t have even bet the game if there were other contests on the slate. It just seemed too even to me. New England could have easily won if it had just recovered one of the fluky fumbles, or if Wes Welker hadn’t dropped that long pass. At the same time though, New York dominated the time of possession and should have been winning at halftime. So, it could go either way, I guess.
I’m not going to complain about the pick though because I got most of my props right. Kelly Clarkson even peed standing up after he sung the national anthem, so that’s $100 in my pocket.
At any rate, I can blame my Patriot selection loss on Migelini, who predicted that New England would win, 25-18. If you didn’t see Migelini’s Super Bowl posts in my Live Super Bowl XLVI Blog, here they are:
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New England Patriots (15-4) – Previously: #2 – I wanted the Patriots to win because the players dedicated their season to Robert Kraft’s late wife. Unfortunately, some of the key members of that team came up short. Tom Brady missed Deion Branch for two big gains in the fourth quarter. Wes Welker had a bad drop that could have iced the game. Even Bill Belichick made a dumb move in challenging a pretty obvious reception, wasting away a precious timeout in the process.
Brady’s performance was the most disheartening. Remember when he was the most clutch guy ever? What happening to him? As I noted in my Live Super Bowl XLVI Blog, he always came through at the very end when he was a humble guy who drove a broken-down pick-up truck. Ever since he started banging/marrying/impregnating supermodels, however, he’s always failed when it matters most.
I thought I’d get some negative feedback for saying this in my live blog, but that didn’t happen. I guess most people agree with me.
In honor of this, I’m going to interview two Tom Bradys. I went back in time to talk to the 2005 version, and I just spoke to the current one. Did the current Brady remember that I spoke to a 2005 version of himself? No, of course not. If I’ve learned anything from watching Heroes, it’s that there are plenty of loopholes to be found concerning time travel.
Me: Hey Tom, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
2005 Tom Brady: No problem, Walt. Always a pleasure.
Me: So, how does it feel to be a three-time Super Bowl champion?
2005 Tom Brady: Terrible, actually – only because I’ve only won three. I was drafted in the sixth round, Walt. The f***ing sixth round. No one has any respect for me.
Me: Really? Not even after three Lombardis?
2005 Tom Brady: Oh, hell no. I’m going to win at least 10 Lombardis – maybe even more – until people start recognizing me as a great quarterback.
Me: That’s great that you’re so dedicated to your craft.
2005 Tom Brady: I love football. Nothing is going to get in my way.
Me: Not even hot supermodels?
2005 Tom Brady: No. You know, it’s actually funny you should mention that because my agent set up a date with some sort of supermodel from Brazil. I only accepted just to be nice, but she won’t even like me because of my broken-down pick-up truck. Not that it matters, since I don’t want anyone distracting me from my goal.
Me: I’ll remember that you said that, but I’ll let you go because I know you’re busy. Good luck, and I’ll talk to you soon!
*** Now, I am traveling through time. Weeeeeeeeeeee!!! ***
Me: Hey Tom, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
2012 Tom Brady: Ohhhhh!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Me: Whoa, what the hell did I just warp into? Tom, my bad, I didn’t know you were having sex with 16 hot supermodels at the same time!
2012 Tom Brady: Yeahhh! Yeahhhh!! Yeahhhhhh!!! It’s a slow night, Walt. I usually bang 23 hot supermodels at the same time. Ohhhhh yeaaahhhhh!!!
Me: Well, I’ll let you finish…
*** Five hours later ***
2012 Tom Brady: Woooo, that was fun. Hey, you’re still here?
Me: Yeah, I wanted to ask…
2012 Tom Brady: Hold on, one second. Crap, I’m late to my newest UGGs commercial shoot. I’ll talk to you afterward.
*** Two hours later ***
Me: Hey Tom, I just wanted a few questions…
2012 Tom Brady: Walt, can’t you see that I’m busy? I’m preparing for my next magazine photo shoot!
Me: Please, it’ll just take five seconds. Didn’t you once say that you wanted to win 10 Super Bowls and that you didn’t care about banging hot supermodels?
2012 Tom Brady: I didn’t care about banging hot supermodels? Ha! What kind of loser thinks like that? Walt, I have three Super Bowl rings. That’s enough for a lifetime. Do you know what’s not enough for a lifetime? Only banging 23 hot supermodels per night. That’s only 8,395 hot supermodels per year. My goal is to reach 20,000 hot supermodels per year, so if you multiply that by 50 years, you get an even one million hot supermodels. When I bang my one millionth hot supermodel, I can then concentrate on getting that fourth Lombardi.
Me: That’s great that you get to have sex with so many hot women, but I have to say, I’m disappointed as a football fan.
2012 Tom Brady: As a football what? Look, Walt, I’d love to talk to ya, but I need to get my supersonic jet plane waxed.
Me: Supersonic jet… what happened to your old truck?
2012 Tom Brady: Ha! Like I could ever bang one million hot supermodels with that old thing.
And with that, I now feel incredibly stupid for picking the Patriots.
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Run Defenses, Pass Defense, Pass Protection:
Something new this year – I’m keeping track of precise run defense, pass defense and pass protection rankings in Excel. The benefit to this is that it’ll be broken down by week. Here are the download links:
2011 NFL Defensive Rankings Spreadsheet (2007 Excel)
2011 NFL Defensive Rankings Spreadsheet – (1999-2003 Excel)
NFL Picks - Oct. 30
2025 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 30
NFL Power Rankings - Oct. 28
Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 4
2022 NFL Power Rankings. Week:
Post-Super Bowl Power Rankings |
Post-Free Agency Power Rankings |
Post-NFL Draft Power Rankings |
Post-Preseason Power Rankings |
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4 |
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7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
11 |
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2021 NFL Power Rankings. Week: Post-Super Bowl Power Rankings | Preseason Power Rankings | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | Playoffs |
2020 NFL Power Rankings. Week: Post-Super Bowl Power Rankings 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Playoffs |
2021 NFL Power Rankings. Week: Post-Super Bowl Power Rankings | Preseason Power Rankings | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | Playoffs |
2020 NFL Power Rankings. Week: Post-Super Bowl Power Rankings 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Playoffs |
