NFL Power Rankings

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NFL Power Rankings: Week 5 – Top 10
Follow @walterfootball for updates.
  1. Seattle Seahawks (2-1) – Previously: #1 – The “analysts” on the NFL Network’s post-game show were discussing how many of the elite quarterbacks aren’t consistent anymore. They referrenced how Drew Brees, Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers “ride a wave,” or something of that nature. They asked each other if they could rely on a specific quarterback, and no one had an answer.

    How about Russell Wilson? It might be strange to think of him as an elite quarterback because he doesn’t fit the prototype, but he’s as consistent as any other signal-caller in the NFL. His sole loss this year occurred because he was barely on the field, and I really can’t remember him having a terrible game in the past season and a half.

  2. Denver Broncos (2-1) – Previously: #2 – The Broncos moved from No. 1 to No. 6 in Fancy Hair Guy’s power rankings on I know many of you think my power rankings suck, but they’re at least better than what that guy comes up with on a weekly basis. It makes no sense. He had Denver as his top team, and saw it lose an overtime game in the toughest environment in the NFL, so he dropped it five spots, just so he could move up some flawed 3-0 teams? How the hell does that make any sense? It’s like this guy’s fancy hair is an evil entity that makes him do stupid things.

  3. San Diego Chargers (3-1) – Previously: #3 – “I’ve always thought that you can tell which team is elite if they’re able to win (or cover the spread convincingly) in a very tough spot.”

    I wrote this last week. The Chargers went on to cover against the Jaguars. I know that doesn’t sound difficult, but keep in mind that there was a ton of professional money on Jacksonville. I’m not sure all of the pros were on the Chargers, however, as one of the world’s top bettors recently called Mike McCoy a “coaching legend in development.”

    I’m wondering if I missed the boat on him. Thus far as San Diego’s coach, Mike McCoy is 13-9 straight up and 15-6 against the spread. He fixed Philip Rivers, rebuilt the offensive line and hired the right people to improve his defense, which hasn’t allowed more than 24 points since last November. Sounds like a legend in the making to me. Then again, anyone would seem like a legend when succeeding Norv Turner.

  4. Cincinnati Bengals (3-0) – Previously: #5 – Again, I don’t want to have the Bengals this high, but all of the other teams are playing like crap. Cincinnati beat two teams going into Thursday night games – a typical let-down spot, as all professional handicappers know – and then squashed the Titans, which is looking far less impressive now after what the Colts did to them this past weekend.

    Nevertheless, I received lots of hate mail from Bengal fans and other teams’ supporters in the comment board below, including one glue-sniffer, who said it would be best if I got cancer and died so we wouldn’t have to read my blog anymore. Here’s some of the hate mail:

    Your rankings are a joke. I wanted to choose a few teams to point out how bad they are but most of them are so bad it’s too hard to choose. Every once in a while i come by the site to give it a shot and every time I’m seriously disappointed. And all of the times you think you’re being cool or witty with your insults they’re just annoying. Do us all a favor and hire writers to do all of this for you.

    I have faith that one day, my friend, you will find at least one of my insults cool and/or witty.

    Lol walt this list is garbage as are your biased opinions. They are based on ifs and buts. This is the nfl it is one game at a time where anything can happen.If you win by 1 point at home against a team playing their practice squad you take it and you move on to the next game.

    “If you win by one point at home over a practice squad, you take it?” That might be the worst reasoning I’ve ever heard. Chiefs fans said this when they beat crap teams en route to a 9-0 start last year. How’d that work out for them?

    Everyone is wrong. Walt is right. I mean c’mon guys, it’s not like Walt is losing money hand over fist with his current football analysis. Wait….

    Week 4, heading into Monday night: 6-6, +$640.

    You have nerve to make fun of Emmitt Smith when clearly his grasp of the English Language is better than you grasp of the NFL. You are a douchebag Walter !

    “You have nerve to make fun of Emmitt Smith?” Is that you, Emmitt?

    Walt – you’ve been asked about 10 times now and given no straight answer for 3 weeks. You are really damaging your credibility here. – you state you won’t rank the Bengals high because of Daltons playoff record and his ATS record IN THE PLAYOFFS – you state your power rankings are for handicapping purposes What does a game(s) Andy Dalton, one starter out of 22, played eight months ago, 20 months ago or will theoretically play in four months have to do with handicapping games in Week 3 of the regular season? Seriously you have been asked this question a whole bunch of times now.

    Seriously, people, the Bengals are 1-4 straight up and against the spread vs. teams with a .700 record or better under Andy Dalton. The one win was a 13-6 victory over the Patriots in a freaking monsoon. Congrats on that W.

    Your rankings straight up suck…. Packers @6 and still hating on Cincy… Your really trying hard to manufacture negatives to not move them up.

    I don’t have to try hard to manufacture negatives. In fact, I have a negative-manufacturing machine right here by my desk.

    Its official, Walts is a kunt. “Fraudulent” 3-0 Cardinals and Eagles sit at 9 and 10, and 1-2 teams sit higher than them in the rankings. go @#$@ yourself scrub

    Glad it’s official! If you’re looking for power rankings based on standings, I’d like to direct you to Click on the standings tab.

    That’s all the hate mail I’m featuring, but I’d like to include something that an anonymous poster wrote:

    WOW, some of you guys are super butthurt about these rankings. Here’s a concept, you are free to read these power rankings or not, nobody is making you come here and read it. If you disagree with his power rankings that much, go make a website and do your own. “The Arizona Cardinals are 3-0 and deserve to be #1!!!!11! HURPIDY DURP!”

    Couldn’t have said it any better myself.

  5. Green Bay Packers (2-2) – Previously: #6 – R-E-L-A-X. I love Aaron Rodgers’ mentality. What I don’t love is his putrid offensive line and defense. If just one of those units were better, I’d have Green Bay at No. 4.

    By the way, I find it ridiculous how FOX and ESPN analysts are when picking games. Last week, many chose the Packers while one of the analysts went with the “upset” Lions pick… despite the fact that Detroit was favored. This week, many chose the Bears, and Keyshawn Johnson seemed surprised that Chris Berman went with the “upset” Packers pick… despite the fact that Green Bay was favored. When will these bozos look at the point spread and realize which team is really the favorite?

  6. Arizona Cardinals (3-0) – Previously: #9 – Speaking of ESPN’s selections, I found it highly amusing last week that Mike Ditka said, “I’m going with Arizona” when everyone was picking the winner of the Denver-Seattle game. No PC idiot was going to tell Ditka he couldn’t pick the Cardinals in a Broncos-Seahawks matchup.

    Anyway, Arizona moved up despite being idle because several other teams moved down.

  7. San Francisco 49ers (2-2) – Previously: #7 – The 49ers continue to implode. There’s no reason this previous matchup should’ve been competitive. Philadelphia crossed midfield just twice all afternoon, so San Francisco would’ve won by 20-plus if it didn’t kill itself with mental blunders.

    It’s really troubling the 49ers would be so sloppy in a must-win game. As my friend Boby Burner put it, “The Eagles might as well just kneel down three times and punt. Just let the defense/special teams do everything.”

    Not a bad idea. Screw Chip Kelly’s up-tempo attack; the Eagles should have utilized the Water Boy offense instead.

  8. New Orleans Saints (1-3) – Previously: #4 – Good lord, Sean Payton coached an awful game. It’s almost like he forgot he possesses one of the elite quarterbacks in the NFL. And things looked so promising too at the beginning of the game…

  9. Detroit Lions (3-1) – Previously: #11 – I’m reluctant to place the Lions higher than this because they’ll probably choke down the stretch because of stupid mistakes. I don’t see why anything has changed compared to last year. Take their Week 2 loss, for example. Detroit should have prevailed, but it killed itself with unforced errors.

    Granted, the coach is different, but do we really expect this guy to create a better result?

  10. Baltimore Ravens (3-1) – Previously: #14 – The Ravens take New England’s spot in the top 10, thanks to a great performance versus Carolina. Here’s my NFL Game Recaps page where you can find analysis of the Patriots-Chiefs game.

NFL Power Rankings: Week 5 – Bottom 10

32. Oakland Raiders (0-4) – Previously: #30 – Dennis Allen is as good as gone, right? Even the homer Oakland announcers, who refer to the Raiders as the “world’s team,” called Sunday’s blowout loss an “international disaster.” In Raider land, that had to be worse than Isis blowing up some buildings.

31. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-4) – Previously: #32 – I like to point out Gus Bradley’s coaching errors in this spot. E-mailer James A. sent this to me:

Punting on first down? What a clever strategy. Perhaps that’s something the Eagles should have done in their loss to San Francisco.

30. Tennessee Titans (1-3) – Previously: #29 – What the hell is Ken Whisenhunt doing? Why would he start Charlie Whitehurst over the promising Zach Mettenberger? Why does Bishop Sankey’s footwork matter so much when he’s clearly so much better than Shonn Greene? I just had to find out, so I sat down with him for an interview. Here’s the transcript:

Me: Hey Ken, thanks for agreeing to the interview.

Whisenhunt: Oh, no problem, Walt. I have a busy schedule preparing for games each week, but I always have time for you.

Me: Oh, that’s sweet. So, I wanted to ask you about Bishop Sankey. What specifically is wrong with his… Ken, what are you looking at?

Whisenhunt: Your feet. Just look at them.

Me: What? What’s wrong with my feet?

Whisenhunt: Your left foot is angled at precisely five degrees, while your right foot is angled at precisely two degrees, meaning there’s a three-degree difference.

Me: Uhh… so?

Whisenhunt: This means there is a 3-percent chance your questions will be completely invalid.

Me: What do my feet have to do with invalid questions?

Whisenhunt: I don’t know. You tell me. You and Bishop. Bishop’s feet are at a ridiculous 50-degree separation, so that means half of his carries will result in fumbles, Walt. Half of his carries!

Me: Oh, and I assume that Shonn Greene doesn’t have much of a difference?

Whisenhunt: He has no difference! His feet are spectacular, so he’s the better running back, by far. I love looking at his feet!

Me: You do?

Whisenhunt: Of course. Rex Ryan and I have pictures of his feet, as well as Charlie Whitehurst’s feet in our secret lair.

Me: That’s kind of weird.

Whisenhunt: Hmm… it seems like my calculations were off. My mistake, Walt. You have perfect feet. Mind if I snap some pictures of them so that Rex and I can enjoy them later?

Me: No way! Get away from me, sicko!

29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-3) – Previously: #31 – The good news is that Mike Glennon proved himself to be better than Josh McCown. The bad news is that Glennon is a weird-looking dude. Forum member ifthethunderdontgetya sent over this picture that he snapped of Glennon, who was taking a walk in the park:

28. Buffalo Bills (2-2) – Previously: #26 – The Twitter account @buffalorumblings summed up the Bills’ season quite well in a single tweet:

“I think it needs to be said: Kyle Orton was signed less than a month ago and fans are CLAMORING to see what he’s got. Says a lot.”

27. Washington Redskins (1-3) – Previously: #19 – What the hell happened to Kirk Cousins? He was so sharp against the Eagles and Jaguars, yet he sputtered Thursday night. It’s almost as if he was under the influence…

The Adventures of Derek Anderson’s Magic Flask!

Derek Anderson: The search for my precious magical flask has taken me to Washington. Wow, that man looks like he’s about to fall over.


Derek Anderson: I’m Derek Anderson. You probably saw my picture on the flask. Kirk Cousins, I assume?

Kirk Cousins: Whoooaa baaakkk thheee ffffuuukk offffmaannn I’m nnoot yyeerr cooousssinn hic!

Derek Anderson: Listen to me, Kirk. Do you know where my flask is? I need it to be drunk again.

Kirk Cousins: Yeerr myyy ccooussin annd I looovee yeeww mannn buut I aainnt seeeen nooo flalasssk hic!

Robert Griffin: Why hello there, Derek. Come to take my job as well? Perhaps I should also strap you down and force the liquid in that flask down your throat.

Derek Anderson: Robert, I just want my flask back. Can you please give it to me?

Robert Griffin: Sorry, I lost it. It’s all Mike Shanahan’s fault that I lost it. Go blame him.

Kirk Cousins: Yeeeahh ffuuuukkkk thhaaatt guuyy Shhannannahn keeepp callinnng meee coooussin tooo buttt I aaiinnt reallalteed to o himmmmm hic!

26. New York Jets (1-3) – Previously: #24 – Deion Sanders said the following Sunday night: “Once you go to Michael Vick you can’t make the switch back. You really gettin’ in Geno Smith head.”

Jet fans, of course, chanted “We want Vick! We want Vick!” (or “We want QBDK! We want QBDK” if they were WF readers) throughout the afternoon. Well, they won’t want QBDK once they see what he has. But I disagree with Deion’s opinion. Did you know what Drew Brees was once benched for Doug Flutie when he was with the Chargers? I’d say he turned out OK. If Smith is any good, he’ll eventually emerge regardless of whether he’s benched.

25. Houston Texans (3-1) – Previously: #25 – Everyone talked about Steve Smith’s revenge, but what about Ryan Fitzpatrick’s? He completely embarrassed the Bills, as he outplayed their first-round pick. Remember long ago this season when Buffalo fans “Bill-lieved?” Good times.

24. Miami Dolphins (2-2) – Previously: #27 – Maybe the Dolphins are on to something with this whole head coach-quarterback undermining thing. Perhaps it serves as a distraction – for the other team. I could see their opponent thinking, “The coach and quarterback are undermining each other; we should be able to win quite easily.” So crazy that it just might work.

23. Carolina Panthers (2-2) – Previously: #23 – The Panthers drop into the bottom 10. They’re playing well except that they can’t tackle at all, they have no pass rush, they can’t stop the run, their quarterback is injured, their offensive line can’t block, and their running backs are out. Otherwise, “they gong grate,” as Mario Migelini would say.

Anyway, it’s time for the Andy Reid meme of the week.

Last week: Andy Reid went all out to celebrate his first victory of the season. He drank a little too much, and then this happened:

This week: Here’s what Reid would look like if he were in the Angry Birds game.

NFL Power Rankings: The Rest:
11. New England Patriots (2-2). Previously: #8
12. Philadelphia Eagles (3-1). Previously: #10
13. Indianapolis Colts (2-2). Previously: #12
14. Atlanta Falcons (2-2). Previously: #13
15. Kansas City Chiefs (2-2). Previously: #20
16. Dallas Cowboys (3-1). Previously: #21
17. Minnesota Vikings (2-2). Previously: #17
18. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2). Previously: #16
19. Cleveland Browns (1-2). Previously: #18
20. St. Louis Rams (1-2). Previously: #22
21. New York Giants (2-2). Previously: #28
22. Chicago Bears (2-2). Previously: #23

Fantasy Football Studs and Scrubs

Top Fantasy Quarterbacks:
  • Eli Manning: 28-of-39, 300 yards. 4 TDs, 1 INT. 1 carry, 1 rush yard. 1 rush TD.
  • Andrew Luck: 29-of-41, 393 yards. 4 TDs, 1 INT.
  • Aaron Rodgers: 22-of-28, 302 yards. 4 TDs, 0 INTs. 1 carry, 8 rush yards.
  • Philip Rivers: 29-of-39, 377 yards. 3 TDs, 0 INTs.
  • Matt Stafford: 24-of-34, 293 yards. 2 TDs, 0 INTs. 6 carries, 8 rush yards. 1 rush TD.
  • Joe Flacco: 22-of-31, 327 yards. 3 TDs, 0 INTs. 1 carry, 3 rush yards.
  • Tony Romo: 22-of-29, 262 yards. 3 TDs, 0 INTs. 6 carries, 20 rush yards.
  • Ben Roethlisberger: 29-of-40, 314 yards. 3 TDs, 0 INTs. 2 carries, 4 rush yards. 1 fumble.
  • Teddy Bridgewater: 19-of-30, 317 yards. 0 TDs, 0 INTs. 5 carries, 27 rush yards. 1 rush TD. 1 2-pt conversion.
  • Alex Smith: 20-of-26, 248 yards. 3 TDs, 0 INTs. 4 carries, 8 rush yards.

  • Top Fantasy Running Backs:
  • Jamaal Charles: 18 carries, 92 yards. 1 TD. 3 catches, 16 rec. yards. 2 rec. TDs.
  • Matt Asiata: 20 carries, 78 yards. 3 TDs. 3 catches, 22 rec. yards.
  • DeMarco Murray: 24 carries, 149 yards. 2 TDs. 1 catch, 6 rec. yards.
  • Frank Gore: 24 carries, 119 yards. 1 catch, 55 rec. yards. 1 rec. TD.
  • Lamar Miller: 12 carries, 64 yards. 2 TDs. 2 catches, 3 rec. yards. 1 fumble.
  • Matt Forte: 23 carries, 122 yards. 5 catches, 49 rec. yards.
  • Trent Richardson: 20 carries, 47 yards. 1 TD. 4 catches, 52 rec. yards.
  • Justin Forsett: 14 carries, 66 yards. 1 TD. 3 catches, 31 rec. yards.
  • Jerick McKinnon: 18 carries, 135 yards. 1 catch, 17 rec. yards.
  • Alfred Morris: 12 carries, 63 yards. 1 TD. 3 catches, 27 rec. yards.
  • Andre Williams: 15 carries, 66 yards. 1 TD.
  • Antone Smith: 4 carries, 62 yards. 1 TD.
  • Chris Johnson: 6 carries, 44 yards. 1 TD. 2 catches, 17 rec. yards.
  • Knile Davis: 16 carries, 107 yards. 1 catch, 12 rec. yards.
  • Eddie Lacy: 17 carries, 48 yards. 1 TD. 1 catch, 11 rec. yards.

  • Top Fantasy Wide Receivers:
  • Steve Smith: 7 catches, 139 yards. 2 TDs.
  • Antonio Brown: 1-of-1, 17 yards. 7 catches, 131 yards. 2 TDs.
  • Randall Cobb: 7 catches, 113 yards. 2 TDs.
  • Jordy Nelson: 10 catches, 108 yards. 2 TDs.
  • Eddie Royal: 5 catches, 105 yards. 2 TDs.
  • Terrance Williams: 6 catches, 77 yards. 2 TDs.
  • Reggie Wayne: 7 catches, 119 yards. 1 TD.
  • Brandon LaFell: 6 catches, 119 yards. 1 TD.
  • Mike Williams: 2 catches, 84 yards. 1 TD.
  • Kelvin Benjamin: 5 catches, 76 yards. 1 TD.
  • Keenan Allen: 10 catches, 135 yards.
  • Andre Holmes: 5 catches, 74 yards. 1 TD.
  • Roddy White: 4 catches, 73 yards. 1 TD.
  • Jarius Wright: 8 catches, 132 yards.
  • Devin Hester: 5 catches, 70 yards. 1 TD.
  • Jeremy Ross: 2 catches, 65 yards. 1 TD.
  • Mike Evans: 4 catches, 65 yards. 1 TD.
  • DeAndre Hopkins: 5 catches, 64 yards. 1 TD.
  • Golden Tate: 8 catches, 116 yards.
  • Torrey Smith: 2 catches, 53 yards. 1 TD.

  • Top Fantasy Tight Ends:
  • Larry Donnell: 7 catches, 54 rec. yards. 3 rec. TDs.
  • Travis Kelce: 8 catches, 93 rec. yards. 1 rec. TD.
  • Heath Miller: 10 catches, 85 rec. yards. 1 rec. TD.
  • Delanie Walker: 5 catches, 84 rec. yards. 1 rec. TD.
  • Jimmy Graham: 8 catches, 86 rec. yards. 1 rec. TD. 1 fumble.

  • Top Fantasy IDP:
  • Malcolm Jenkins: 7 tackles, 1 INT, 1 TD.
  • Husain Abdullah: 8 tackles, 1 INT, 1 TD.
  • Justin Houston: 7 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 forced fumble.
  • Michael Johnson: 5 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 forced fumble.
  • J.J Watt: 5 tackles, 1 INT, 1 TD.
  • Mike Adams: 2 INTs.
  • Nigel Bradham: 3 tackles, 1 sack, 1 INT.
  • Justin Durant: 8 tackles, 1 INT, 1 forced fumble.
  • Antoine Bethea: 7 tackles, 1 INT, 1 forced fumble.
  • Derrick Shelby: 3 tackles, 2 sacks.
  • Keenan Robinson: 13 tackles, 1 INT.
  • Lavonte David: 12 tackles, 1 forced fumble.
  • Ryan Clark: 14 tackles.
  • Morgan Burnett: 13 tackles.
  • A.J. Hawk: 13 tackles.
  • Luke Kuechly: 12 tackles.

  • Fantasy Scrubs of the Week:
  • LeSean McCoy: 10 carries, 17 yards.
  • Nick Foles: 21-of-43, 195 yards. 0 TDs, 2 INTs.
  • Tom Brady: 14-of-23, 159 yards. 1 TD, 2 INTs. 1 fumble.
  • Darren Sproles: 1 carry, 4 yards. 2 catches, 2 rec. yards.
  • Pierre Thomas: 2 carries, 8 yards. 2 catches, 15 rec. yards.
  • Stevan Ridley: 5 carries, 28 yards.
  • Joique Bell: 8 carries, 32 yards. 2 catches, 7 rec. yards.
  • DeSean Jackson: 1 catch, 9 yards.
  • Justin Hunter: 1 catch, 12 yards.
  • Calvin Johnson: 2 catches, 12 yards.
  • Pierre Garcon: 2 catches, 28 yards.
  • Greg Olsen: 2 catches, 30 rec. yards.
  • Antonio Gates: 3 catches, 30 rec. yards.
  • Charles Clay: 2 catches, 32 rec. yards.
  • Zach Ertz: 4 catches, 43 rec. yards. 1 fumble.

  • Run Defenses, Pass Defense, Pass Protection:

    Something new this year – I’m keeping track of precise run defense, pass defense and pass protection rankings in Excel. The benefit to this is that it’ll be broken down by week. Here are the download links:

    2014 NFL Defensive Rankings Spreadsheet (2007 Excel)

    2014 NFL Defensive Rankings Spreadsheet – (1999-2003 Excel)

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