2011 NFL Power Rankings

My pre-free agency 2011 NFL Power Rankings.

I’m going to use these rankings as the order for my 2012 NFL Mock Draft updates.

I’ve gone from WORST to FIRST, so if you don’t see reverse numbering (via Javascript), don’t worry; the Panthers, Redskins and Broncos aren’t my top teams.

Updated: 5/11

Washington Redskins (6-10) – Previously: 32.
MAY 11 UPDATE: So, John Beck is your starting quarterback, eh? Think that’s a good thing? Think again.

The bad news is that Beck has to play the Bills again this year. The good news is that Andrew Luck will be waiting next April.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Redskins are the worst team in the NFL. Outside of the tight end and safety positions, the team needs to upgrade every single area. Even kicker, punter and fullback need to be fixed. And yet, Daniel Snyder is still throwing around money like some drunk at a strip joint. Will he ever go an offseason without overpaying a 30-year-old declining player or has-been?
Seattle Seahawks (7-9) – Previously: 22.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Check out three of Pete Carroll’s recent tweets:

– SEA!!!

– We’re rolling!

– Who’s got questions?? Q&a time!

As predicted, Carroll’s tweets have declined in coolness now that he can’t talk to his players.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why I’m focusing on Carroll’s tweets, it’s because a team with Charlie Whitehurst as its quarterback has no shot.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: This NFL lockout means that coaches can’t communicate with players. Oh no. How ever will Pete Carroll survive without writing cool tweets at his players? Sorry, I’m still bitter about losing $880 thanks to Carroll’s idiotic decision not to go for two in the playoff game against the Bears.
Tennessee Titans (6-10) – Previously: 29.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Jake Locker may have a bright future, but his first year in the NFL is going to be a major struggle.

By the way, I received a couple of e-mails from people asking me if I feel stupid now that Locker salvaged his big rookie signing bonus. My answer: Of course I feel stupid. I feel stupid all the time. But I’m happy for Locker. He took a chance, and it literally paid off. I didn’t want to see him lose a shot at tens of millions.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: You gotta love Vince Young. Months after exiling himself from Tennessee after his post-game tirade, Young commented, “I would love to stay in Nashville. I’m a big fan of Mike Munchak. I always call him Big Hall of Famer in the hallways and things like that.”

Sounds like it’s time for an episode of Stupid Vince and Senile Bud!

Vince Young: Derrr, hey old guy owner ha, your name Bud is the same name as a beer I have.

Bud Adams: Weh? Who are you? You seem like you could be a good quarterback. Why don’t you come play for my team?

Vince Young: Derrr, but mister old guy ha, you tolded me I cannot play for your team no more.

Bud Adams: Weh? Team? I don’t have a team.

Vince Young: Derrr, it’s the one with the big letter T on a circle with blue fire comin on the back even though fire only have orange and red colors ha.

Bud Adams: Weh? What T? You look like you can play quarterback son. Why don’t you come play for my team?
Minnesota Vikings (6-10) – Previously: 26.
MAY 11 UPDATE: How similar are the Vikings and Titans? Both have rookie quarterbacks. Both have elite running backs who will keep their respective teams from going winless. Both have high-profile receivers who are free agents and happen to have four letters in their last name. Both have once-great offensive lines that struggled last year. Both have major concerns on defense, thanks to free agency.

I honestly don’t know whom to rank ahead of whom. I guess I’ll give the Vikings the edge because Christian Ponder is more pro-ready, but both of these teams are probably going to suck balls in 2011.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: According to Chris Berman, the only reason the Vikings passed on Jimmy Clausen at the bottom of the first round last year was because they didn’t want to offend Brett Favre.

Think they dodged a bullet there? Unfortunately for Viking fans, it doesn’t matter. Favre is gone, and the team is in shambles. Aside from running back and special teams, Minnesota, like Washington, needs to upgrade every area of its roster.
Cincinnati Bengals (4-12) – Previously: 31.
MAY 11 UPDATE: After reading about how Carson Linksman has 80 Meg, my brain needs a break. I can’t type anything else about the Bengals.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: So, Carson Palmer has vowed never to set foot in Paul Brown Stadium again? Oh noez, not a broken-down quarterback calling it quits! Luckily, I have a fool-proof plan for owner Mike Brown. I’ll reveal it on April 1, as my April Fools Mock Draft makes its triumphant return.
Jacksonville Jaguars (7-9) – Previously: 20.
MAY 11 UPDATE: In 2007, the Eagles were ready to win right away, but spent an early pick on a quarterback. Last year, the Panthers had a veteran group that was ready to win, but spent an early selection on a signal-caller. Both teams sucked the ensuing season.

Are the Jaguars next? They were so close to winning the division, that you have to figure that a mid first-round pass-rusher could get them over the hump. Instead, it seems like Jacksonville has one eye focused on the future, which is never a good sign. Because of this, the Jaguars could endure a miserable 2011 campaign.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: Did you know that the only coaches in the NFL tenured longer than Jack Del Rio right now are Andy Reid, Bill Belichick and Marvin Lewis (by three days)? It’s hard to believe that, especially since owner Wayne Weaver criticized Del Rio a year ago for not working hard enough. Poor Jack. All he wants to do is spend the entire day at the beach.
Buffalo Bills (4-12) – Previously: 28.
MAY 11 UPDATE: The Bills aren’t good enough to make the playoffs, but they probably aren’t bad enough to land Andrew Luck or Matt Barkley. Now, why does that sound familiar?

MARCH 16 UPDATE: Chan Gailey on C.J. Spiller’s role in Buffalo’s offense: “It didn’t work out as any of us planned.”

In other news, Nintendo has finally conceded that the Virtual Boy was a failure.
Carolina Panthers (2-14) – Previously: 27.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I don’t think Cam Newton will ever be great, but like Vince Young, he’ll be able to win a few games on his own. Combine that with the assumption that Carolina won’t have nearly as many injuries this year, and I don’t think it’s out of the question that the Panthers can win eight games this year. I’ll probably have them around 6-10 in my season previews later this summer, but that’s definitely not set in stone.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Panthers aren’t as bad as their 2-14 2010 record indicates. They had so many injuries on their defense and offensive line. Plus, they can’t possibly be worse at the quarterback position next year.

By the way, what is up with Carolina’s futility with second-round picks? They wasted one this year by trading for the right to draft Armanti Edwards last April. They spent another second-rounder on Jimmy Clausen. They refused to trade DeAngelo Williams for a presumed Round 2 selection. And yet, they think they can get one for Steve Smith, who is done.
Denver Broncos (4-12) – Previously: 21.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Some may say that I have the Broncos too high. Well, I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to go to Hell for betting against Tim Tebow.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: Why does John Elway hate Tim Tebow? He can’t possibly think that Kyle Orton is the better option. Tebow looked great in Denver’s final three games, so he deserves a shot.

I get the feeling something happened behind closed doors. Hmm…

Tim Tebow: It’s an honor and a privilege to meet you, Mister John Elway Sir!

John Elway: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, Tim, I saw that picture online with you and that big-breasted chick. Let me have her number.

Tim Tebow: But Mister John Elway Sir, I can’t give it to you.

John Elway: What!? You dare deny the great John Elway!?

Tim Tebow: Mister John Elway Sir, I don’t know her. She just randomly took a picture with me. I have no way to reach her. Not that I would want to anyway because girls have cooties.

John Elway: That’s it! Kyle Orton will be my starter until you get me her number!
Oakland Raiders (8-8) – Previously: 23.
MAY 11 UPDATE: The thinking behind replacing Nnamdi Asomugha with the combination of DeMarcus Van Dyke and Chimdi Chekwa? Al Davis has our answer:

“Last year… I had… one great playa… now I have… two great playas… I took… a math coase… back in… Transylvania… in 1564… and I learned… that two great playas… is betta… than one great playa…”

In all seriousness, Oakland’s defense is going to take a major step backward without Asomugha.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Raiders finally go better than 5-11 for the first time since 2002, and yet they fire their head coach? How does that make any sense? Apparently, Tom Cable dragged down Al Davis’ virgin-sacrificing production, as females were obviously scared that Cable would beat them up.

On a serious note, Oakland will be back to the five-wins-and-fewer club if they can’t retain Nnamdi Asomugha. He actually is one of Undead Al’s “great playas.”
Cleveland Browns (5-11) – Previously: 24.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I loved the trade the Browns orchestrated with the Falcons. With a 2012 first-rounder, it was great for the long term. However, moving out of No. 6 prevented Cleveland from landing a blue-chip player for this year. I’m just not confident in Colt McCoy’s offensive line or the personnel the Browns have assembled for their new 4-3 defense.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: Mike Holmgren has done a couple of dubious things thus far as the head man of the Browns. Giving $7 million to Jake Delhomme comes to mind. And I don’t get this transition to the 4-3. Cleveland’s defense ranked 15th against the run (YPC) and 13th in points allowed last year. The secondary sucked, but that won’t really improve with a four-man front. The Browns lack a lot of pieces for a 4-3, so I feel as though they’ve regressed.
Arizona Cardinals (5-11) – Previously: 30.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I’m calling it right now. Arizona will obtain Kevin Kolb for a first and a fourth. I’m ranking the Cardinals a little bit higher based on that prediction. If they can’t land Kolb, they’ll be back in the 28-31 range.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: There’s no free agency, but this is good news for the Cardinals. Otherwise, their front office would hand out more ridiculous contracts to crappy players.

Last year, I wrote the following when Arizona overpaid for Joey Porter:

The Cardinals lost their starting quarterback and best defensive player (Karlos Dansby). But everything’s OK because they got Joey Porter! All it took to sign him was $17.5 million over three years even though no other team was interested! Breathe a sigh of relief, Cardinals fans!
Miami Dolphins (7-9) – Previously: 18.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I can’t give the Dolphins a precise ranking because we don’t know whom their quarterback is going to be yet. Also, ignore everything I wrote about Chad Henne below. I quickly soured on him once I saw this picture.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: I know Chad Henne is horrifically inconsistent, but I wouldn’t give up on him. He’s talented and still very young.

To help my case, I’m going to list the stats of a Super Bowl MVP quarterback from his second year as a starter in the NFL:

57.6% completion, 2,108 yards. 5.9 YPA. 11 TDs, 15 INTs. 3 fumbles lost.

As a comparison, here are Henne’s numbers from his second year as a starter:

61.4% completion, 3,301 yards. 6.7 YPA. 15 TDs, 19 INTs. 2 fumbles lost.

Henne performed better than the Super Bowl MVP, who also happens to be a Big Ten alumnus.

If I were the Dolphins, I’d sign a veteran quarterback and give Henne a redshirt year to figure things out. That’s what the Super Bowl MVP’s former team did. The Super Bowl MVP was benched, and Doug Flutie started for a while. Eventually, the Super Bowl MVP was ready, and he performed prolifically when re-inserted into the starting lineup. I believe Henne can enjoy similar success because he’s really talented.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, that Super Bowl MVP was Drew Brees.
Kansas City Chiefs (10-6) – Previously: 25.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I probably had the Chiefs too low in my previous update, but I still stand by my belief that they’re going to be the big disappointment in 2011. They had a very easy schedule last year and were fortunate to bump into numerous teams when they were at their lowest point. Charlie Weis not being back is also huge.

Having said that, maybe Kansas City is bound for more luck this season. Their first four opponents are the Bills, Lions, Chargers (always suck in September) and Vikings.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: As I’ll later point out, I plan on betting on the Buccaneers early and often in 2011. Conversely, I’ll be fading Kansas City as much as possible. The Chiefs are a fraud team that is nowhere near as good as their 10-6 record indicates. They were lucky enough to play numerous cupcake opponents last year, and things will only be more difficult next season without Charlie Weis.

I’ve written this numerous times – I really liken the 2010 Chiefs to the 2009 Broncos. They’re extremely similar. The 2010 Broncos went 4-12, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the 2011 Chiefs suffered a similar fate.
San Francisco 49ers (6-10) – Previously: 19.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I have a good feeling about this 49er team. Their coach is a billion times more competent than the guy he replaced, and he won’t be mooning anyone in the locker room. Jim Harbaugh will get the most out of Alex Smith. The Niners have a strong running game and a really good defense. It seems like the only thing standing in their way of a divisional title this year is Sam Bradford.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: I have no idea what the 49ers are going to do at quarterback, so I’ll rank them relatively low for now.

By the way, I really hope the Ravens-49ers game next season gets canceled for some reason. I can already hear ESPN now…

“OMG OMG OMG JOHN HARBAUGH JIM HARBAUGH JOHN JIM JIM JOHN OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG HARBAUGH HARBAUGH HARBAUGH BAUGH BAUGH JOHN JIM OMG STANFORD ANDREW LUCK BRETT FAVRE OMG HARBAUGH.”
St. Louis Rams (7-9) – Previously: 14.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Man, I wanted to have the Rams win 10 games or something, but then I saw their schedule: Eagles (home), Giants (road), Ravens (home), Redskins (home; easy win), Packers (road), Cowboys (road), Saints (home).

I don’t know about you, but I think Steve Spagnuolo should start sleeping with someone in the NFL Schedule office so he can go up against some easier opponents for a change.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Rams could have went the safe route and drafted Ndamukong Suh. Since they took a chance on Sam Bradford, they’re a playoff contender for the next decade.

By the way, I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you of what some of ESPN’s analysts said during the 2010 NFL Draft. From last year’s power rankings:

Steve Young, Jon Gruden and Mel Kiper opined that Bradford needs to sit for a year because he’s not ready to play in a pro-style offense.

Whoops. Of course, I thought Jimmy Clausen should have been the top pick, so maybe no one really knows anything.
Chicago Bears (11-5) – Previously: 17.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Usually, half the teams that make the playoffs in a given year don’t quality the following season. The Bears could be one of those teams, based solely on their brutal schedule. They start the year with: Atlanta (home), New Orleans (road), Green Bay (home), Carolina (home; easy win), Detroit (road; first Lions Monday night game in centuries), Minnesota (home; easy win), Tampa Bay (road), Philadelphia (road).

That could easily be a 3-5 or maybe even a 2-6 start. Of course, if the Bears come out of that 5-3 or better, we’ll know they’re for real.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: If all I wrote in this capsule was, “Jay Cutler is a wuss,” I guarantee that I’d have 500 Bears fans e-mailing me, “RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE HOW DEAR YOU CALL JAY CULER A WUSS YOU’RE THE WUSS AND IM NOT READING YOU’RE SIGHT ANY MORE!!!!”

All the Bears players similarly defended Cutler. They’re still doing it. It’s really amazing. As the great William Shakespeare once wrote, “The Chicago Bears doth protest too much.”
Detroit Lions (6-10) – Previously: 13.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Ugh. I want to have the Lions making the playoffs in my 2011 NFL Season Previews later this summer, but everyone thinks they’ll be good, meaning Detroit will probably fall under the “everyone thinks we’ll be good, so expectations are so high that we can’t possibly meet them” category. The Lions will replace the Texans as that team; now, everyone is off the Houston bandwagon after years of disappointment.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: If the Lions finally decide to fix their offensive line this offseason, I’ll probably have them going to the playoffs in my season previews. Then again, if Rosie O’Donnell loses 500 pounds, I’d probably find her attractive, so I guess anything can happen.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (10-6) – Previously: 9.
MAY 11 UPDATE: The Buccaneers had a quality draft, but I’m bumping them down a bit because of the Aqib Talib issue. If Tampa parts way with him, he definitely will be missed.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Buccaneers went 9-5-1 against the spread in 2010. I’m confident that we can make lots of money betting on them again next year because I don’t think people realize how good this team is. Tampa won games against weak opponents early last season, but they triumphed in New Orleans and almost knocked off Atlanta toward the end. Josh Freeman can only get better, and LeGarrette Blount will be the starting running back for the whole year. Plus, all of the defensive players the Bucs were missing will be back.
Atlanta Falcons (13-3) – Previously: 8.
MAY 11 UPDATE: In my previous update, I mentioned two things that were going against the Falcons. Well, a third was their draft day trade. I want to copy-paste something Greg Cox wrote to me in an e-mail because he made a great point about Atlanta:

Falcons lost their minds. WAY worse than Chargers trading up for Mathews. Teams that think they need one player to make the next step usually don’t. I’m calling it now – they don’t make the playoffs.

He’s definitely right. The No. 2 receiver spot was not the only hole on Atlanta’s roster, and the Cleveland trade prevented the team from adding to its overall depth. It’s still early in the summer, but I’m inclined to agree with Greg for now.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Falcons are seen as a team on the rise, but there are two things going against them.

First, the previous two No. 1 seeds to get knocked off in their first playoff game (2007 Cowboys, 2008 Giants) didn’t even make the playoffs the following season. And second, both the Saints and Buccaneers will be better next year.

I’m not saying Atlanta’s going to miss the playoffs or anything, but things will be a lot more difficult in 2011 than they were last year.
New York Giants (10-6) – Previously: 15.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Jerry Reese should write the NFL Draft for Dummies. Of course, this would only involve three easy steps:

1. Get a pick in the teens or later.
2. Watch dumb teams pick crappy players.
3. Draft a player that should have been picked earlier.

An instant best-seller!

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Giants won the Super Bowl because they were strong on both sides of the line of scrimmage. Now both lines are questionable. That has to be fixed this offseason.

At any rate, I’m glad Tiki Barber is making a comeback. As I wrote on Twitter (@walterfootball):

Tiki Barber has come out of retirement. He apparently missed being a douche in an NFL locker room.

This is much better than Barber being a douche on TV. If he’s playing football, we won’t have to hear him.
Philadelphia Eagles (10-6) – Previously: 12.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I don’t want to hear this talk about “Danny Watkins may be old but he’s going to help the Eagles right away!” How do you know that? Watkins hasn’t played much football throughout his life, so it’s not like he’ll perform like some seasoned veteran in his first game. Like any other player entering the league, there will be an adjustment period.

Also, as you may expect, I received numerous e-mails from people asking me to sign a petition to keep QB Dog Killer off the Madden cover.

Hey, I actually wanted him on the Madden cover. No, I haven’t gone to the dark side; I would just prefer it if he were the latest victim of the Madden curse; and not poor Peyton Hillis.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: If you’re new to this site, I call the person formerly known as Michael Vick “QB Dog Killer.” This enraged some people. As an experiment, I wanted to see how people would react if I began calling him something else (i.e. Eagles QB No. 7). I received numerous e-mails asking me why I changed his name, including:

I am curious though you may have and probably have already answered this question a zillion times, but why did you stop the QB Dog Killer reference? I found it rather amusing like the rest of your humor on your site, and I just found it odd that you would change that, the only thing I could think of is that somebody representing mike vick contacted you and told you to get rid of it or face some sort of libel charge, but I could be overthinking things and you simply decided that he earned his new designation, although I will miss QB Dog Killer.

QB Dog Killer will live on. And speaking of which, here’s another e-mail:

BTW, Mic– er, QB Dog Killer didn’t win any WalterFootball.com NFL Awards? You should have made a new one just for him. Maybe “Most Hyped Player of the Year,” or “Best Former Convict of the Year,” or “Best Short QB of the Year”?

How about “Best Quarterback Confused by the Blitz on a Random Tuesday Night Game?”

I’m not buying the 2011 Eagles. They have issues on their offensive line and defense, and QB Dog Killer is definitely not nearly as good as some people make him out to be. We all overreacted to that crazy Monday night game against the Redskins. The real QB Dog Killer can’t read defenses or recognize the blitz. Once his athletic abilities erode, he’ll be nothing more than a sub-par quarterback.
Dallas Cowboys (6-10) – Previously: 11.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I received numerous hate mails for continuously ranking the Cowboys too high last year. So bring them on. I’m ready for the “RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE YOU HAVE TEH COWBOY RANK TO HI!!!!” e-mails.

I just think the Cowboys are really good, and they finally don’t have a competent head coach for a change. That said, I will miss Wade Phillips’ constant confused looks on the sideline. Those were always good for a laugh if I was having a bad day.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: The Cowboys’ disastrous 6-10 season might just be the best thing that could have happened to this franchise. Not only did it give Jerry Jones an excuse to fire the bumbling Wade Phillips; they were able to secure the No. 9 pick, which will allow them to add a blue-chip player to their defense.

I’d call Dallas a sleeper, but they’re one of the favorites to win the Super Bowl according to Vegas. And rightfully so.
Houston Texans (6-10) – Previously: 16.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I’m going to do something no one has ever done before. Thanks to Houston’s improved defense under Wade Phillips, I’m going to have the Texans reaching the AFC Championship in my season previews!!!! Oh wait… I did that last year. Oops.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: Wade Phillips is a horrible head coach, but he’s a hell of a defensive coordinator. Houston’s offense wasn’t the problem last year, so if Phillips can help the defense improve – and it can’t possibly be worse than it was in 2010 – then the Texans have a great shot at finally getting into the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.
New York Jets (11-5) – Previously: 10.
MAY 11 UPDATE: This lockout may have really helped the Jets. They had so many free agents that having the 2011 NFL Draft prior to the free agency period allows them to focus on the guys they know they absolutely have to re-sign. For example, they know they can let Shaun Ellis walk because they were able to land Muhammad Wilkerson at No. 30.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: I think I’m one of Mark Sanchez’s only supporters. Did he have a ton of interceptions dropped last year? Yes, but he was also clutch when it counted most. Sanchez improved as the year went on too; it wasn’t his fault that the defense couldn’t stop the Steelers. Plus, he was only a second-year quarterback. People forget that. He’s only going to improve.

However, I don’t agree with Rex Ryan’s Super Bowl prediction. The Jets have so many free agents that it’ll be impossible to re-sign everyone.
San Diego Chargers (9-7) – Previously: 6.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Another team I inexplicably ranked too high throughout the 2010 season. I don’t know what my obsession is with crappy coaches like Wade Phillips and Norv Turner. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist or enroll in a support group for this.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: You know what’s sad? The Chargers probably would have made the playoffs last year if they just went for it on fourth down every single time. Sounds crazy, but their special teams were so bad that just entirely avoiding punting and kicking would have been the best move.
New Orleans Saints (11-5) – Previously: 7.
MAY 11 UPDATE: I really hated the Mark Ingram trade, and I really think it could hurt the Saints in the long run, but they’ll benefit this upcoming season. As long as his knee is OK – and the doctors gave teams the green light – Ingram should be a really good running back in this league. Having him in the backfield obviously makes Drew Brees that much more dangerous.

Another positive is that Saints fans no longer have to watch the injury report every week to see if a questionable Reggie Bush will play. “It’s been fun New Orleans?” As a former Bush owner in fantasy football, I can adamantly say that it has not been fun.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: I’m mad that the Saints cut Jeremy Shockey because I already liked Jimmy Graham as a sleeper fantasy tight end. Now, everyone is going to have him high on their board. Damn it all.

I’ll have some 2011 Fantasy Football Rankings articles posted in April. Let’s just hope we can all play fantasy football this season.
Baltimore Ravens (12-4) – Previously: 5.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Random thought: If the lockout is lifted soon – fingers crossed – and both Torrey Smith and Tandon Doss flash in minicamps, training camps and the preseason, it would not surprise me at all if Anquan Boldin doesn’t make the final roster. Boldin played like crap last year, catching 14 passes for 125 yards in his final six games. I have no reason to believe why he would suddenly improve in 2011. If Smith and Doss are ready, they should play ahead of Boldin.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: Joe Flacco is now 0-6 against Ben Roethlisberger. I’m guessing the Ravens won’t win the Super Bowl again until there’s a positive digit in that left column.

Unfortunately for Flacco, he lost his quarterbacks coach this offseason. At the behest of Flacco, Jim Zorn was reportedly let go because he couldn’t get along with Cam Cameron. Cameron, meanwhile, really sucked at play-calling and was fired from the Dolphins after one year. Are we sure that Baltimore let the right guy go?
New England Patriots (14-2) – Previously: 2.
MAY 11 UPDATE: What the hell happened during the draft? It’s almost like Bill Belichick logged into Bodog and bet his entire bank account on “Will New England address its front seven in the first five rounds of the 2011 NFL Draft? No +1,500.”

MARCH 16 UPDATE: When I was buying a house, my friend and real estate lawyer asked me if I planned on getting married anytime soon. When I told him no, he replied, “Good. Don’t get married.”

I didn’t understand why he said this until I saw Tom Brady’s pony tail. Poor Tom. I think we now know who wears the pants in that household.

As for the actual team, I’m concerned about Brady’s offensive line. Stephen Neal just retired and Matt Light is a free agent. Bill Belichick needs to make sure that he protects the pony tail at all cost.
Indianapolis Colts (10-6) – Previously: 4.
MAY 11 UPDATE: Is it crazy to think that Peyton Manning might actually struggle next year because of the offensive line improvements? I can almost imagine him thinking, “What the hell? I wasn’t hit yet, and there are no defenders in my face. Something must be going wrong. I know – I’m in some sort of bizarro world. Let me throw it to the other team just to make sure!”

So, if you’re in one of my fantasy leagues, avoid Manning at all cost. And when I draft him in Round 4, know that I’m doing you a favor.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: I love how people proclaim that Peyton Manning is on the decline and that the Colts are done. Manning just had one of his best years ever. His offensive line was in shambles and his receiving corps suffered way too many injuries. Manning’s ability to carry that 2010 Colts squad into the playoffs is one of his best achievements.
Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4) – Previously: 3.
MAY 11 UPDATE: The Steelers play a Thursday night game this year. I thought I’d point that out because Bob Papa, Matt Millen and Joe Theismann have officially been ousted as the NFL Network’s Thursday night crew.

At first, I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to make fun of Millen and Theismann anymore. But then I thought about it, and I’m really looking forward to not feeling like I’m coming out of a comatic stupor after each Thursday night game.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: It’s time for Stupid Things Walt Said – 2010 Edition!

This Steelers team is falling apart. Ben Roethlisberger will be suspended and there’s no way he’s preparing for the 2010 season amid all of these allegations. Santonio Holmes was just traded. Hines Ward is threatening to retire after this season. A few months ago, I thought the Steelers had a great chance to reach Super Bowl XLV. That chance is gone.

Man, what kind of idiot writes something like that?
Green Bay Packers (10-6) – Previously: 1.
MAY 11 UPDATE: For those of you who have been reading this Web site for a while, you know that I never pick a team to repeat as Super Bowl champions. I like to come up with dark horse candidates, and I’ve done pretty well with that; I had the Packers and Saints going to the Super Bowl the previous two seasons.

Having said that, I might just break that trend. This Green Bay team is REALLY good, and they’re going to be better than last year because they’ll have everyone back from injury. Plus, their draft was amazing.

Stay tuned for my 2011 NFL Season Previews. Hopefully I can start doing them in June, which would mean that free agency happened already and the lockout concluded. As I wrote above, fingers crossed.

MARCH 16 UPDATE: Man, I was a Ben Roethlisberger suspension and a Santonio Holmes trade away from getting the Super Bowl XLV matchup completely right in my 2010 season previews. I had the Packers going there, and I would have had them battling Pittsburgh if it weren’t for all that aforementioned stuff. What’s that? You’re reminding me that I had the Texans and Cowboys losing in the championship games? Screw you.

Can Green Bay repeat? Absolutely. It’s crazy to think that this Packers team is going to be better next year once they get all of their players back from injury.

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