Humor

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 23, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Chinese Restaurants I hate Chinese food. There, I said it. I know this makes me racist, but I don’t care. I refuse to eat 99 percent of all Chinese food. Unfortunately, I was forced into going to a Chinese-Japanese restaurant for…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 21, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks at the Mall I’m a last-minute holiday shopper. Last year, I went to the mall the day before Christmas Eve. When I stopped at the bank prior to the mall and I told the cougar bank teller that I hadn’t started my…

Jerks of the Week for March 1, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Figure Skating I was talking to Awesome Kelly in Arizona on Saturday night. I asked her when the Olympics would finally be over, and she immediately responded, “F***ing never.” Intrigued that she might be the only female alive who despises the…

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 7, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Forum Spammers I talked about spammers in another Jerks of the Week entry. I’ve discussed how stupid these spammers are and how easy it is to spot them. Getting more specific, I want to address three particular spammers I’ve banned recently….

Jerks of the Week for Aug. 10, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Jolly Ranchers When I was a kid, I used to always go to my grandparents’ house. My grandparents had a tin can full of Jolly Ranchers stashed in their closet. When they weren’t looking, I would raid the can and steal…

Jerks of the Week for July 13, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Jacko’s Ghost In case you’ve accidentally been swallowed by Sally Struthers or Rosie O’Donnell and haven’t heard the news lately, there has been speculation – mostly by idiots with no life – that Michael Jackson’s ghost is haunting his own house….

Jerks of the Week for June 29, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Google Maps I’m the worst with directions. In my first-ever Jerks of the Week entry (scroll down for a link) I mentioned that I went to my ex-college roommate’s wedding. Well, that was in Hershey – a little less than two…

Jerks of the Week for Aug. 3, 2009 When I posted my Jerks of the Week two Mondays ago, forum member mpg1995 suggested that I “should make Jerks of the Week more football-related.” My Jerks of the Week section will always be a place where I rant about all kinds of jerks, from my evil…

Jerks of the Week for Aug. 24, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: I’m Not Your Friend Kid I went swimming the other day to burn off my thousands of pounds. When I was done, I went to the locker room to get changed. To my chagrin, the locker room was flooded with dozens…

Jerks of the Year: The Philadelphia Eagles Instead of writing about my hatred toward Jolly Ranchers, or complaining about my douche-bag neighbors this week, I’m just going to talk about one thing – an organization that did something so despicable, unjust and illogical that they deserve the ultimate WalterFootball.com dishonor – the Jerk of the…