Humor

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 22, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Sucky Subway At 7:45 on Thursday evening, I went out to buy dinner. The Dolphins-Bears game was coming on at 8:30, so I needed some fattening food to give me enough energy to make it through what would be one of…

Jerks of the Week for Oct. 18, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Toasts I complain about a lot of things in my Jerks of the Week entries. However, there are only a handful of things I truly hate. Here are some I can think of off the top of my head: 1. Bums…

Jerks of the Week for Aug. 16, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Evil Vietnamese Children I’ve mentioned that I’ve moved outside of the city to avoid high taxes, multiple murders every day and drugged-up bums on my street. With that in mind, let’s bid farewell to my old Vietnamese neighbors – an evil…

Jerks of the Week for July 19, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: NFLShop.com Awesome Kelly in Arizona, my friend and avid WalterFootball.com reader, celebrated her birthday last Sunday. She’s a huge football fan, so I planned to get her something from NFLShop.com. Now, I should have known better. This past Christmas, I purchased…

Jerks of the Week Special Edition: Lost Finale You Can’t Please All Jerk Readers Two weeks ago, I dedicated my entire Jerks of the Week segment to my awesome Lost theory that Aaron is the Man In Black. I received several angry e-mails, including this one: “You should quit talking about Lost in your Jerks…

Jerk of the Year: Twilight (Why Twilight Sucks) Anyone sick of all the Twilight hype? I am. It seems like everyone’s Facebook status reads, “OMG im going to watch the new Twilightmovie! I luv vampirez tehy are so0o0o0o0o awsum!” Prior to last week, I had never seen any of the Twilight movies before, so my…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 7, 2009 JERK OF THE HOLIDAYS: Tiger Woods Instead of giving you three Jerks of the Week, I’m posting one Jerk of the Holidays. It’s Tiger Woods, and I’ll give you seven reasons why he’s earned this honor, starting with… 1. I Hate Golf Well, I don’t hate golf….

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 18, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Cocoa Puffs My top five cereals of all time in no particular order: Frosted Flakes Fruit Loops Cocoa Puffs Honey Nut Cheerios Lucky Charms Cocoa Pebbles Corn Pops Fruity Pebbles Golden Grahams Super Mario Bros. Cereal (they used to make this…

Jerks of the Week for May 17, 2010 My sister just graduated from West Chester University’s (Pa.) master’s program last Monday. While the ceremony itself was an excruciating 75-minute snooze-fest for everyone else, I had some fun gathering material for this installment of Jerks of the Week. If by chance you attended that event and…

Jerks of the Week for May 24, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Pepsi YouTube Man There are only a few things that truly annoy me – reality TV shows, artsy-fartsy new-age hippies, one-way streets, bums, Communist soccer, high income taxes, and delusional woman-beating psychopath terrorists who ruin South Park to name a few….