Humor

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 1, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Donation Girl As I’m writing this, it’s 6:20 p.m. on the East Coast. I just got back from Neshaminy Mall (right outside of Philadelphia). I went there to buy some stuff for my Halloween costume. I needed fake tattoos, fake jewelry…

Jerks of the Week for Aug. 23, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: The Poop Master If you’re my Facebook friend, you know of my basement bathroom troubles. If not, prepare for a disgusting story. Oh, and if you’re eating, you may want to skip ahead to Jerk of the Week No. 2. I…

Jerks of the Week for June 20, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Sea Captain and Land Blubber Wawa is great. It’s walking distance from my house, so I don’t have to drive very far to buy their meatball and cheese sub and chicken corn chowder soup. There are usually weirdoes at Wawa as…

Jerks of the Week for June 13, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jamie’s Party My friend Jamie had her graduation party last Saturday. I was already looking forward to it, and then I learned that her house is basically right around the corner from mine. That meant that I could drink as much as I…

Jerks of the Week for May 23, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Rapture You’re probably reading this on Monday, but I’m currently typing these words last Thursday afternoon. I had my windows open 20 minutes ago. I looked outside, and noticed hundreds of these brownish beads flying around. I didn’t think anything of…

Jerks of the Week for May 30, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Me I did a ton of drinking in my six years at Penn State. Not so much early on, but I went out four nights a week during my super-senior and super-duper senior years. I even got smashed hours before one…

Jerks of the Week: Russian Conspiracy In last week’s Conspiracy Theorists Jerks of the Week entry, three comment posters had an interesting argument about some sort of Russian conspiracy. I was asked to post their conversation on one page, so here it is: AdAm C: There’S no way you can trust a government that has…

Jerks of the Week for May 9, 2011 JERK OF THE YEAR: Rashard Mendenhall When our awesome troops eliminated Osama bin Laden last Sunday night, the nation rejoiced. If you didn’t watch CNN, FOX News, etc., tens of thousands of drunk and happy people celebrated in the streets of Washington and New York. One individual…

Jerks of the Week for May 2, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Bottom Dollar Food I moved into a new neighborhood back in July. But because I’m always busy working on this site and avoiding the fat women at the gym, I’ve never had the time to walk around my neighborhood. Hell, up…

Jerks of the Week for April 25, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Nerd No. 2 I hate cell phones. No, wait, that’s not entirely accurate. I hate people who are obsessed with cell phones. It seems like I have the same conversation with a different person every single day: Random Person: OMG OMG…