Humor

Jerks of the Week for March 14, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Las Margaritas Host I’m very particular about where I eat. I hate fancy-shmancy downtown restaurants. In fact, I believe that the cheaper the place, the better the food is. I’d rather pay $10 for a meal at a burger joint or…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 13, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: No Space Man This is probably the eleventy billionth time I’ve written about No Space Man. If this is the first time you’re reading about this freak of nature, here’s a quick synopsis: No Space Man was given this nickname because…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 6, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK: 10-Year High School Reunion I had my 10-year high school reunion the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It was a pretty fun time, except for the following: 1. It was downtown. I hate downtown. Bums creep me out, one-way streets confuse me, and artsy-fartsy new-age…

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 29, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: QB Dog Killer Supporters As you may know, I refer to the person formerly known as Michael Vick as “QB Dog Killer.” Based on what he’s done – drowning dogs and taking bets on how long they’d last – I feel…

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 8, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Political Ads I’ve voted only once in my life. I’m sorry, I guess I’m just not cool because I don’t “Rock the Vote” like P. Diddy, or whatever his name is nowadays. It’s not that I’m not interested in politics. On…

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 1, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Donation Girl As I’m writing this, it’s 6:20 p.m. on the East Coast. I just got back from Neshaminy Mall (right outside of Philadelphia). I went there to buy some stuff for my Halloween costume. I needed fake tattoos, fake jewelry…

Jerks of the Week for Aug. 23, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: The Poop Master If you’re my Facebook friend, you know of my basement bathroom troubles. If not, prepare for a disgusting story. Oh, and if you’re eating, you may want to skip ahead to Jerk of the Week No. 2. I…

Jerks of the Week for June 20, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Sea Captain and Land Blubber Wawa is great. It’s walking distance from my house, so I don’t have to drive very far to buy their meatball and cheese sub and chicken corn chowder soup. There are usually weirdoes at Wawa as…

Jerks of the Week for June 13, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jamie’s Party My friend Jamie had her graduation party last Saturday. I was already looking forward to it, and then I learned that her house is basically right around the corner from mine. That meant that I could drink as much as I…

Jerks of the Week for May 23, 2011 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Rapture You’re probably reading this on Monday, but I’m currently typing these words last Thursday afternoon. I had my windows open 20 minutes ago. I looked outside, and noticed hundreds of these brownish beads flying around. I didn’t think anything of…