Humor

Jerks of the Week: May 3, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Death of Neshaminy Mall My wife found some holes in my boxer briefs, so I needed to buy new ones. Now, if you’re a man, you might be thinking, “Walt, why the hell would you need new boxer briefs if yours only have…

Jerks of the Week: April 26, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Jekyll and Hyde Gym Patrons If you’re not surprised that I don’t go to the gym on Sundays for almost half the year, then you have no idea what I do for a living. If that’s the case, why are you even on…

Jerks of the Week: April 19, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Frank Sebastiano We received some incredible news recently. Or so I thought. When Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced that his state would be lifting its mask mandate and re-opening everything to 100-percent capacity, I figured everyone would be happy about it. And why wouldn’t…

Jerks of the Week: April 12, 2021 Jerks of the Week: A Sad Easter For My Not-So-Secret Admirer I never anticipated going to the gym on Easter. My initial plans were to get beaten up by highly skilled ninjas. What, you don’t believe me? This is not an April Fools or April Truths story, I…

Jerks of the Week for April 19, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: People Who Cry Racist I hate people who cry racist. They are jerks. And unfortunately, they’ve apparently multiplied ever since Barack Obama was sworn into office. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me refer you to a sample…

Jerks of the Week: April 5, 2021 Jerks of the Week: April Fools and April Truths IX: College Edition I can’t believe I’ve been writing April Fools and April Truths for nine years! That’s incredible. It’s also depressing because I’ve been promising Jonathan Frakes for nine years, and yet I’ve failed to deliver. For those…

Jerks of the Week: March 29, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Double Jolly Rancher Experiment I have two grave pieces of news to share with you. I’m going to break them apart because discussing them simultaneously would prompt me to have a mental breakdown. Grave Piece of News No. 1: I haven’t eaten candy…

Jerks of the Week: March 22, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Purple Building If you’ve ever sat at the bar with your friends – wow, remember how great that was? – and discussed who has the worst teeth in the world, I can finally answer that for you. Some guesses may have been Michael…

Jerks of the Week: March 15, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Megan Muggle Interview I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about this morning. I woke up in a delirious state, thanks to the pain meds I’ve been taking following my oral surgery. I just got my wisdom teeth removed, likely becoming…

Jerks of the Week: March 8, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Eric Holthaus: Bitcoin Feminist I miss the good old days when we didn’t have to listen to every idiot’s opinions. Facebook and Twitter didn’t exist, so the only takes anyone heard were from people they knew, or those thehy listened to on television or…