Humor

Jerks of the Week: July 5, 2021 Jerks of the Week: NextDoor Part 2 I’m writing this a week before publishing it, so to me, it’s almost July 4. That means it’s almost time to return to semi-normalcy. If you haven’t heard, Joe “Truininanashabadepressure” Biden said in a speech that on Independence Day, we might…

Jerks of the Week: June 28, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Rescheduled Wedding If you planned on getting married after the middle of March 2020, you have my deepest sympathies. Of course, I don’t need to tell you the headache you’ve endured. I know the frustration well from one of my best friends, Body…

Jerks of the Week: June 21, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Shower Self-Conversation Man and One-Piece Thong Girl I knew that a recent Saturday was going to be packed with Jerks of the Week content when I passed by this car while walking my dog. Someone, apparently, threw sandwiches at this car: Imagine hating someone…

Jerks of the Week: June 14, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Let’s Go to the Movies! My wife made a strange suggestion the other day: “Let’s go to the movies!” Wait, what’s that? The mow-vees? What in tarnation was she talking about? Then, it suddenly hit me. Prior to the pandemic, there were these places…

Jerks of the Week: June 7, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Vaccine in Pool Lady, Temperature Fiend and Murphy’s Law Man I recently had a three-way conversation over the phone with two of my older friends, Dale and Larry. We hadn’t seen each other since the lockdown began, so we asked each other what we…

Jerks of the Week: May 31, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Current Events II I published a Jerks of the Week entry called Current Events, which was a smash hit. Just kidding, I didn’t look at the metrics, so I have no idea how it did. It’s possible that no one read it, and it’s…

Jerks of the Week: May 24, 2021 Jerks of the Week: NextDoor Vice President Joe Biden took a break from heroically falling up the stairs and sniffing young girls’ hair to address the nation recently. Though many expected him to have the look of an elderly person in a retirement home who didn’t know what…

Jerks of the Week: May 17, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Current Events I have a confession to make. I cheated on a current events project in my fourth-grade social studies class. Phew. I’m so glad I got that off my chest. It’s been weighing on me for 28 years. Now, I’ve finally been unshackled…

Jerks of the Week: May 10, 2021 Jerks of the Week: Elon on SNL I used to know this guy who was considered the coolest dude on the planet. You know the saying, “Every man wants to be him, and every girl wants to be with him?” That was this guy. He had countless friends,…

Jerks of the Week: May 3, 2021 Jerks of the Week: The Death of Neshaminy Mall My wife found some holes in my boxer briefs, so I needed to buy new ones. Now, if you’re a man, you might be thinking, “Walt, why the hell would you need new boxer briefs if yours only have…