Humor

Jerk of the Week: The Dirty Hands Restaurant In the past few years, I’ve learned that I’ve taken restaurants for granted. I used to go out to eat with my wife or my friends all the time. I never appreciated it, however, and I wish I enjoyed the experiences more. For those of you who…

Jerk of the Week: Sammy Davis, Fake Lawyer Extraordinaire I already knew that there are many retarded people on Twitter, but the many posts about Lamar Jackson not winning MVP for the 2024 NFL regular season easily reinforced it. Twitter – I refuse to call it X – featured so many complaints from people who…

Jerk of the Week: Step by Step: Woke by Woke When I’m asked who my childhood Hollywood crush was, I have one answer: Al from Step by Step. Al, played by Christine Lakin, was a smokeshow. Not only did I think she was incredibly pretty; her character on Step by Step was one who loved…

Jerk of the Week: Goodbye, British Empire I always see the same guy when I take my son to swim lessons each week at the local LA Fitness. I enrolled my son at the British Swim School ever since he was nine months old. He’s three now, and yet we’ve run into the same person…

Jerk of the Week: The Toilet Name Tag I swear I’ve written this before, but I’ve had so much dental work over the years that my long-time dentist was able to retire early. I’m not even joking, well at least not about the early retirement part. “Business has been great, so I was able to…

Jerk of the Week: Doctor Cannabis The following passages are entries from a medical journal found in the WalterFootball.com headquarters: Saturday, Nov. 23, 2024: I felt an odd sensation on my forearm when I sat down at my desk. It was a large bump that was agitated every time I rested my arm on the…

Jerk of the Week: The Two Zombie Uncles If you don’t follow me on Twitter, you may not know that I like to troll people with nonsense replies. In fact, some idiots tried to cancel me over a response several months ago where I said that “women probably shouldn’t vote” in response to a cat…

Jerk of the Week: Christian’s Bad Touch Uncle I’m usually not aggravated during a winning betting day, but the way the Week 16 Sunday slate ended was frustrating. I lost all three player prop bets during the 4 p.m. window, thanks to one player being benched and another player having a touchdown removed by penalty….

Jerk of the Week: The Wing Flinger 3000 I can’t believe my son is a week shy of turning three years old. It felt like yesterday that he was born, and yet three years have zoomed by in a flash. Where did all the time go? And will the next three years go even quicker?…

Jerk of the Week: The Pediatrician’s Appointment My dad made a stunning admission recently. I had my kids over my parents’ house, and my daughter went No. 2 in her diaper. I announced that I had to leave the dining room table to change her diaper when my dad said, “I don’t know how you…