Humor

Jerk of the Week: Sweatshirts, Mac-and-Cheese, and the Lady in the Yellow Dress There are many things I took for granted prior to having children. For example, I’ve written about going to restaurants in a recent entry. Restaurants have become such an unknown phenomenon to me that I confused a regular patron with a hostess,…

Jerk of the Week: The Wiley Ballard Cat Ladies If you’ve been paying attention, you’re well aware that we’re enduring a population crisis in America. And no, I’m not referring to overpopulation. Blue-haired weirdos living in $4,000-per-month, roach-infested cramped apartments may think otherwise, but we don’t have too many people. Some of these strange individuals…

Jerk of the Week: Easter Egg Hunt 2025: Potential for Domination My wife asked me a silly question a few days ago: “Are you going to the Easter egg hunt this year?” Was I going!? I wouldn’t have missed it for the world! After all, it was two years in the making, as my son…

Jerk of the Week: The Big Shot and the Free Kite I had a disturbing dream recently. I dreamt that some sort of witch doctor kidnapped my 19-month-old daughter and turned her into a wooden doll. I tried everything to reanimate her, but I failed at every attempt. I even had to enlist the assistance…

Jerk of the Week: An Ode to Around the Horn I used to have a friend named Andy. We swam on the same club team growing up. We were also both huge fans of the 5 p.m. block on ESPN. This was more than 20 years ago when Around the Horn initially began airing ahead…

Jerk of the Week: Lindsey the Cat Lady Long ago, I used to date this girl Emily, whom I used to refer to as Awesome Girl Who Loves Football on this Web site. I was not joking when I said she loved football. She could name the score of games from years ago and detail…

Jerk of the Week: The Magically Appearing Parmesan Cheese My son just turned three, yet he knows what the word “spammer” means. This is because no one calls my phone except for spammers and my mom. Nearly every time I get a call, I’ll look to see that it’s a spammer, and I’ll immediately cancel…