Humor

Jerk of the Week: The Wing Flinger 3000 I can’t believe my son is a week shy of turning three years old. It felt like yesterday that he was born, and yet three years have zoomed by in a flash. Where did all the time go? And will the next three years go even quicker?…

Jerk of the Week: The Pediatrician’s Appointment My dad made a stunning admission recently. I had my kids over my parents’ house, and my daughter went No. 2 in her diaper. I announced that I had to leave the dining room table to change her diaper when my dad said, “I don’t know how you…

Jerk of the Week: Stepping on Jace and/or Ace I learned something interesting when my parents took those ancestory DNA tests. For instance, my mom came up as 12-percent Arabic, or something. This is one of two reasons why I can now identify as a person of color. Of course, the other reason can easily…

Jerk of the Week: Q Any avid fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation might be confused about the title of this Jerks of the Week entry. I imagine I’d be as well if I didn’t know where I’d be going with this. Q, for those of you who don’t know, is an omnipotent being…

Jerk of the Week: Figs My teeth are the worst. The absolute worst. I’ve had so much dental work that my dentist was able to retire early. And no, that’s not a joke. That’s quite literally what happened. The dentist I’ve gone to since I moved into my current home in 2010 was this nice…

Jerk of the Week: Line Picker Man I find that I’m able to go to the gym more often when my wife is mad at me. This didn’t matter three years ago when I didn’t have kids, but it does now, as I’m only able to work out on Fridays when my son spends time…

Jerk of the Week: The First Double Halloween It’s interesting how cyclical Halloween is. When you’re a kid, it’s the greatest holiday of the year. I couldn’t believe it the first time my mom told me about it. “You mean people give me candy for free?” I asked. “And all I have to do is…

Jerk of the Week: Walt Goes to Vegas 2024, Part 8: The Las Vegas Airport Miracle I’ve had far better experiences at the Las Vegas Airport than the Philadelphia International Airport. Of course, you probably could have guessed this because I’ve dedicated so many Jerks of the Week entries to my displeasure with the Philadelphia…

Jerk of the Week: Walt Goes to Vegas 2024, Part 7: Hot Tub Love There are a couple of things I haven’t discussed yet from my stay in Las Vegas. One was an advertisement near the Crystals shops. This advertisement befuddled a couple I was walking beside during a trip to dinner one evening. “Is…

Jerk of the Week: Walt Goes to Vegas 2024, Part 6: Bombs Away! When I used to come to Las Vegas with my wife, I would spend numerous days lounging by the pool. I had plenty of time to do this, given that we would be on vacation for about a week. After I got…