I’m almost ashamed to say it, but I’m in a fantasy football league with Coronabros. Throughout the entire summer, there was some trepidation from half the league, including the commissioner, to even run the league this year. When the Miami Marlins contracted the Coronavirus and had to cease play for some time, that sparked a lengthy mass text conversation where lunatics panicked.
“If the Marlins are getting the virus, we’re all going to die!” one of the Coronabro league members squealed.
The other half of the league, which includes me, tried to calm down these worrying fools. I tried to tell them that the pandemic was the biggest hoax of our lifetime; that only very old and very sick people were dying of the virus. This is what the science and data have shown us. Anyone paying attention knows I’m correct.
And yet, they didn’t listen. They opted to cancel the fantasy league.
Well, I awakened Tuesday morning to see that the most recent e-mail in my inbox was from the commissioner. The headline: “I told you so!”
The body of the e-mail contained a link to Adam Schefter’s tweet about three Tennessee Titan players testing positive for the Coronavirus. Then, the commissioner wrote, “Looks like we were right after all to cancel our league.”
Really? Because a few players on one team tested positive? Most of them probably didn’t even know they had been infected!
My reply was simple:
“Stop it. This doesn’t affect anything except change the bye weeks of the Titan and Steeler players from 4 to 7. This is still the biggest hoax of our lifetime.”
I read somewhere that both the Titans and Steelers had Week 7 bye weeks, but this was not the case, upon further research. Their bye weeks are seven and eight, respectively. I was finally wrong about something.
I’m not sure how the NFL is going to do it, but they’ll be forced to move around some games to make sure the Tennessee-Pittsburgh matchup is played. I’m sure the schedule-maker will find a way to get it done, but it could involve shifting too many parts.
I figured I would play schedule-maker myself for this feature, but then it hit me: Why doesn’t the NFL just make the Titans forfeit?
This might be a bit harsh, but I think this is unfair to the Steelers. Because some players on the Titans were careless and contracted the virus, why do the Steelers have to reorganize their entire schedule? Pittsburgh’s bye week shifted from eight to four, which means that the team has to play for 13 consecutive weeks to close out the season – more than any other team in the NFL, save for Tennessee. Furthermore, the Steeler players didn’t even get to relax during this makeshift bye week. They were practicing and preparing for the game like any ordinary week, so the banged-up players didn’t really get to rest at all.
I think the Titans should have to suffer some sort of punishment for not following the guidelines the league installed to keep everyone from being infected. Accommodating Tennessee for not following the rules doesn’t seem right, and it won’t deter any of the other teams from repeating this mistake.
Nevertheless, the good news is that everyone will be fine. Every person in the Titans’ organization who was infected will make a quick recovery, and the season will go on as planned.
Sorry, Coronabro fantasy league members.
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