If you’ve followed this site for a while, you might remember that I like to respond to my spam mails. It all started eight years ago, when a man named Jon Wire from the “United Bank of Africoan” promised me an ATM card of some sort, so I responded as a man named Mister Compassion Chuck Norris, who was raised by wolves. The following season, I received e-mails from Richard Held and Loon Bruce, who told me I won a Facebook Award, which comes with a “lump sum pay out of (750,000.00 GBP).” Pretending to be Matthew Millen Kim, I sent out my application and fake money.
I’ve been messing around with spammers ever since, pretending to be Harvey Weinstein, Tom Brady, Walter White and a 65-year-old virgin man living with his mother. I’ll have new answers to spam mails here, so check them out if you want to see me screw with spammers!
Guys, you won’t believe it, but I got an e-mail from Elon Musk. Yep. And even better, Musk is going to send me a free Tesla! Yippie!
Obviously, this is fake, so I needed to respond to “Elon” with someone who would really stand to benefit from an EV:
Poor Mark Cuban can’t convince people that he’s a good person despite all of his virtue signaling. Someone send him an EV pronto so he can finally tell everyone how great of a person he is!
I wasn’t expecting to hear back from Elon Musk, but he replied with a link to his Wikipedia page so I can read about him on the off chance that I didn’t know who he was. How helpful!
I replied to “Elon” with Cuban’s personal information. His address and phone number are public, so those were easy to obtain:
I can’t wait until Mark Cuban gets a free Tesla in the mail. Imagine how great of a person he’ll be when that happens.
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