NFL Power Rankings

My current NFL Power Rankings.

I’m going to use these rankings as the order for my 2019 NFL Mock Draft during the 2018 draft season. Follow @walterfootball.

I’ve gone from WORST to FIRST, so if you don’t see reverse numbering (via Javascript), don’t worry; the 49ers and Cardinals aren’t my top teams.

Updated: Dec. 11

Washington Redskins (6-7) – Previously: 29.
Mark Sanchez is back! Mark Sanchez is back! Mark Sanchez is back! Yay yay yay! I can’t wait to make money betting against him!

I wrote this last week. I just hope I can celebrate another Sunday betting against Sanchez soon, but it doesn’t sound like he’ll start again.

The Redskins signed Josh Johnson, but let’s just point out that the Redskins could be making a better choice at quarterback. There’s a signal-caller out there who’s way more talented than Sanchez, or Johnson, or Colt McCoy. We all know who he is. And the Redskins must sign him now.

Please, Redskins. Sign Matt Moore. He’s looking for a home.

Arizona Cardinals (3-10) – Previously: 30.
I may have been hallucinating, but I swear I heard one of the FOX announcers tell the audience that head coach Steve Wilkes has a philosophy with his players that goes something like this:

“I’m not gonna be your fwiend, but I’m gonna be your buddy.”

They actually said this. I just have one question: Will Wilkes be your guy?

At any rate, perhaps this buddy, guy, fwiend nonsense is the reason Wilkes had the worst game/time management in NFL history at the end of the opening half against the Lions. I can’t even fully describe what happened. Go watch it yourself. Nothing the Cardinals did on the final drive of the first half makes any sense.

Oakland Raiders (3-10) – Previously: 31.
I loved seeing the Raiders beat the Steelers because Pittsburgh deserved to be punished for dropping yet another giant deuce as big road favorites. However, the Raiders are the true losers because they could have clinched the opportunity to select Nick Bosa by losing to the Steelers, thanks to San Francisco’s victory this week. I don’t know. Call me crazy, but when you’re trying to tank, you probably shouldn’t be winning football games.

San Francisco 49ers (3-10) – Previously: 32.
I have no idea where that first-half performance against the Broncos came from, but I’m just going to chalk it up to being a fluke. The 49ers had just 76 net yards in the second half and couldn’t even get George Kittle a 5-yard pass so he could break Shannon Sharpe’s single-game NFL receiving yards record for tight ends.

When asked for comment about Kittle after the game, Sharpe had this to say: “wGHorhgr woihg4g h35olk qr h42g o5h3g io4ht, owefohr goer hweffeog 3i5howfi54 horegw f%we fwweffre.”

Jacksonville Jaguars (4-9) – Previously: 28.
It was nice of the Jaguars to use up all their energy in a damaging win over the Colts. They predictably showed up flat versus Tennessee on a national stage. It was cool to win back three of the 5.5 units I lost fading Cody Kessler the previous week. Still, though, I’ll never understand why the Jaguars were so happy to defeat Indianapolis the previous week. Not only did the Jaguars hurt their draft positioning, they helped Indianapolis’! What if the Colts can get some great player who torments Jacksonville over the years because of that loss?

Cincinnati Bengals (5-8) – Previously: 27.
The Bengals nearly won in San Angeles despite being 16-point underdogs. That has to be considered a win. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if owner Mike Brown is working on a hefty bonus for Marvin Lewis right now in the wake of that win.

New York Jets (4-9) – Previously: 25.
The Jets hung around with the Patriots and Titans in consecutive weeks leading up to the Buffalo game, so it can’t be a surprise that they pulled the upset against the Bills. Sam Darnold had a half-decent game, but I don’t think we can make a proper judgment on him until we see him surrounded by legitimate NFL personnel.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-8) – Previously: 24.
What happened to the Buccaneers? They looked great against the Saints until Jameis Winston and center Ryan Jensen began yelling at each other on the sidelines. What the hell was being said? Hmm…

Ryan Jensen: Good pass, Mr. Winston. Cheerio.

Jameis Winston: Speaking of Cheerios, would you mind picking up some for me at the local grocery store, and while you’re at it, can you steal some crab legs for me?

Ryan Jensen: Why would I do that? I’ll just pay for the crab legs.

Jameis Winston: PAY FOR CRAB LEGS!? WHAT ARE YOU, INSANE!?

Ryan Jensen: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME INSANE! YOU KNOW THAT IS A SENSITIVE SUBJECT FOR ME EVER SINCE I HAD TO COMMIT MY PET CAT TO THE MENTAL INSTITUTION!

Jameis Winston: I JUST CALL IT LIKE I SEE IT! YOU’RE INSANE FOR WANTING TO PAY FOR CRAB LEGS, FIEND!

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down.

Atlanta Falcons (4-9) – Previously: 20.
Hey, Falcons, how about you, I don’t know, not f**k up on every single damn drive after the first one? Good grief. That Falcons-Packers game was the Murphy’s Law of NFL games for Atlanta. Whatever could’ve went wrong for the Falcons after the opening drive went seriously wrong. Bye bye, $880.

Buffalo Bills (4-9) – Previously: 22.
The Bills should be 6-7 right now. They’ve outgained their previous two opponents (Dolphins, Jets) by a combined 360 net yards, and they averaged more yards per play than both.

I’d say what a shame this is, but the Bills losing and looking good while doing it is the best possible scenario. It gives hope for next year, all while bolstering their draft positioning. They should be able to lock up Florida offensive tackle Jawaan Taylor, whom Charlie Campbell is reporting to be the top tackle in the 2019 class. You can read more about this in the NFL Hot Press.

Detroit Lions (5-8) – Previously: 26.
The Lions may have won on the scoreboard on Sunday, but they lost for so many other reasons. Not only did they harm their draft positioning; they lost several players to injury, including Ziggy Ansah, who was carted off.

Speaking of Ansah, it’s insane how injury-prone he is. For any aspiring football players reading this, find out what Ansah’s training regimen is, and do the opposite.

Carolina Panthers (6-7) – Previously: 12.
I’ve had the Panthers listed as overrated, but that was before I saw Cam Newton really injure his shoulder with 5:50 remaining in the Tampa game. Newton was awful after that, and he certainly didn’t look like himself versus the Browns. If the Panthers lose one more game, they should consider shutting Newton down for the rest of the year.

Denver Broncos (6-7) – Previously: 11.
Given the absolute s**t the Colts took in Jacksonville against Cody “I can’t throw a pass longer than 1.5 yards” Kessler, I have to say that I highly appreciate the Broncos and their ability to take care of business on the road versus another miserable quarterback, Jeff Driskel.

Erm, never mind. I wrote this last week, and the Broncos went on to lose to Nick Mullens. The Broncos were able to limit the 49ers to just 76 net yards in the second half, but it was pretty clear that they really missed Chris Harris and Emmanuel Sanders. Denver is clearly not the same team without them.

Green Bay Packers (5-7-1) – Previously: 21.
The Packers are 5-7-1 following their win over the self-destructing Falcons. Here’s a rundown of their wins this year:

– Aaron Rodgers’ miracle comeback versus the Bears

– A win over the Bills at home

– A close call against the C.J. Beathard-led 49ers on Monday night

– A win over Brock Osweiler and the injury-ravaged Dolphins.

– A big win over the Falcons, who made mistakes on every drive, save for the first one.

By the way, here’s the Grade for the Packers firing Mike McCarthy, including a legendary rant about him.

Philadelphia Eagles (6-7) – Previously: 17.
Gosh, I love the media. I’m watching NFL Network right now. The host just asked the panel of players, “Carson Wentz doesn’t seem healthy from the knee injury he suffered last year. What’s wrong with Carson Wentz right now?”

Ummm… you just said it! HE’S NOT HEALTHY! YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID IT!!!

Argh. This was aggravating as well. If the Cowboys are going to pay off the officials so that replay review just happens to malfunction, they shouldn’t do it so blatantly:

New York Giants (5-8) – Previously: 23.
Underrated NFL Team: See why the Giants are an underrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

Miami Dolphins (7-6) – Previously: 19.
Underrated NFL Team: See why the Dolphins are an underrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

Cleveland Browns (5-7-1) – Previously: 18.
Believe it or not, there’s a road map for the Browns to almost make the playoffs…

– The Browns must beat the banged-up Broncos, the even more banged-up Bengals, and the Ravens.

– The Steelers must lose to both the Patriots and Saints.

– The Ravens must lose one of the following two games: vs. Buccaneers, at Chargers

If all of this happens, the Browns and Steelers will be tied for first in the AFC North.

The problem there is that the Steelers own the tie-breaker because they’re 1-0-1 versus the Browns this year. Still, the Cleveland fans can say that they witnessed the Browns nearly make the playoffs one year!

Minnesota Vikings (6-6-1) – Previously: 14.
Overrated NFL Team: See why the Vikings are an overrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

Kirk Cousins is now 4-24 versus teams with a winning record. Unreal. Redskins general manager Bruce Allen caught a ton of flak from dumb media people for not giving Cousins a huge contract, but Allen obviously knew what he was doing.

By the way, this is one of the best Wikipedia edits I’ve ever seen:

Dallas Cowboys (8-5) – Previously: 16.
Overrated NFL Team: See why the Cowboys are an overrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

Tennessee Titans (7-6) – Previously: 15.
It was nice that the Titans took care of business against a poor opponent. They own the Jaguars, perhaps because they’re a version than them.

My only regret about Thursday night’s game was that Derrick Henry scored all of the touchdowns. Of course, I left him off all my Draft Kings entries. Ugh!

Speaking of Henry, I watched the game with my parents, and my dad had the best quote about him: “You see? S**t comes from your head, and it helps.”

Houston Texans (9-4) – Previously: 10.
Overrated NFL Team: See why the Texans are an overrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

Indianapolis Colts (7-6) – Previously: 13.
Underrated NFL Team: See why the Colts are an underrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

Baltimore Ravens (7-6) – Previously: 9.
The Ravens had a legitimate chance to beat the Chiefs, but Patrick Mahomes made a ridiculous play on fourth down, then Lamar Jackson got hurt. Now that Jackson may not be available next week, Joe Flacco could suddenly feel better. What a miraculous recovery!

Pittsburgh Steelers (7-5-1) – Previously: 7.
Remember how great the Steelers looked in their 52-21 win over the Panthers? They haven’t covered the spread since that game. In fact, the Panthers haven’t either. It just goes to show that you can’t overreact to one game.

I wrote this last week, and oh boy, the Steelers just lost to the Raiders. I understand that Ben Roethlisberger got hurt, but the Steelers always take a monstrous dump like this as big road favorites two or three times per year.

Seattle Seahawks (8-5) – Previously: 8.
The Seahawks played sloppily Monday night, yet still managed to dominate the Vikings. Their defense is looking great, while Russell Wilson can’t be counted out in any game. I would not want to battle the Seahawks in the playoffs.

Los Angeles Chargers (10-3) – Previously: 6.
Overrated NFL Team: See why the Chargers are an overrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

Chicago Bears (9-4) – Previously: 5.
As someone who has a 100/1 ticket on the Bears to win the Super Bowl, can I tell you how utterly aggravating it is to see Mitchell Trubisky throw off his back foot all the time in some games? Trubisky avoids this sometimes, but he’s been guilty of doing so quite frequently in some contests, most of which have been losses. If Trubisky can stop doing this, the Bears can win the Super Bowl. With that in mind, I’d like to suggest for Matt Nagy to simply amputate Trubisky’s back foot. That way, he can’t throw off it!

Los Angeles Rams (11-2) – Previously: 3.
Overrated NFL Team: See why the Rams are an overrated NFL team in our new Overrated-Underrated page.

New England Patriots (9-4) – Previously: 2.
In honor of the Dolphins always dominating the Patriots in Miami, owner Stephen Ross is considering a logo change:

Dolphin rape is no laughing matter – except, of course, if the Patriots are on the wrong end of it.

Kansas City Chiefs (11-2) – Previously: 4.
The Chiefs haven’t been the same without Kareem Hunt, but perhaps that’ll be balanced out by an improved defense. Eric Berry is set to make his return this Thursday. I don’t know if he’ll be great right away, but if he’s 80 percent of his normal self come playoff time, that’ll be a huge boon for Kansas City.

New Orleans Saints (11-2) – Previously: 1.
The Saints played a bad game against the Buccaneers on the road, yet still prevailed by 14. This was a huge win, as they jumped back into the No. 1 seed. They have just one road game remaining, and that’s at Carolina, which has a very injured quarterback at the moment. I like the Saints’ chances of finishing with home-field advantage.

The MVP race:

1. Patrick Mahomes
2. Drew Brees
3. Philip Rivers
4. Tom Brady
5. Aaron Donald

Brees and Mahomes are neck and neck in the MVP race. If it continues to be this close, I think the voters will give Brees the nod, given that he’s never won the award before. That’s hard to believe. He was Super Bowl MVP, but never got that distinction for the regular season. However, I’m moving Mahomes atop the list after his late-game heroics against the Ravens.

I’ve moved Philip Rivers up to the No. 3 spot, as he’s been playing better than Tom Brady lately.

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