Final Regular Season 2011 NFL Power Rankings
Week 17 Top Fantasy Performers, Defenses

1. Green Bay Packers (15-1) – Previously: #1 – Quarterback controversy in Green Bay! Matt Flynn doesn’t wear hats to every interview like Aaron Rodgers, so he may have the edge to start in Round 2 of the playoffs.
   
   In all seriousness, Flynn’s performance might make me give Drew Brees the MVP award. I’d pick Rodgers over Brees if I were starting a team, but if you take both quarterbacks off their respective teams, I feel like Green Bay would be much better than New Orleans. The Saints might be almost as bad as the Colts because Brees does so much for that offense.
   
   
2. New Orleans Saints (13-3) – Previously: #3 – I don’t know why the Saints played their starters against the Panthers. They had no shot at the No. 2 seed. Even if the 49ers had lost to the Rams, they still would have maintained the No. 3 seed.
   
   Don’t believe me? Fine. Just check out this poll an e-mailer sent over:
   
   
   
   See? The 49ers would have gotten the bye no matter what (barring a tie).
   
   
3. Baltimore Ravens (12-4) – Previously: #4 – Just keep running the ball, Cam. Just keep running the ball.
   
   Let’s go to Notes from NFL.com GameCenter – a list of a few stupid comments I read on NFL.com’s GameCenter and my thoughts on them:
   
   1. “the bengals dont know what thier getting themselves into lol.”
   
   I don’t think you did either when you signed up for GameCenter.
   
   2. “Stealer fans have class?????? this coming from a team whos QB is a rap ist!!!! plz GO back to the slums u call pittsburgh”
   
   Ben Roethlisberger does rap? When is his next album coming out?
   
   3. “if you heart can take another joe cool trashing and you can make it far enough in the postseason well be more than happy to RELEASE THE FLACCEN on you for a third time lol.”
   
   I don’t think “me” heart can take much more of this GameCenter idiocy. RELEASE THE FLACCEN!
   
   
4. New England Patriots (13-3) – Previously: #2 – I’m dropping the Patriots because their defense is awful.
   
   Anyway, my NFL Picks have sucked this week, but just be glad that I don’t give out the same gambling advice that GameCenter posters do:
   
   Pats,will loose brady is out
   
   Hey, maybe his prediction was right. Maybe they did loose. I sure as hell didn’t see them tight. Bwahahahaha.
   
   
5. San Francisco 49ers (13-3) – Previously: #5 – Niner fans are the absolute coolest. Don’t believe me? Just check this post out from the 49ers-Rams board:
   
   
   
   Two girls each, eh? If you have two girls to yourself, what the hell are you doing posting on GameCenter, bub?
   
   
6. Detroit Lions (10-6) – Previously: #6 – It’s always fun to welcome in new bettors. When gambling on football, you start noticing really shady things. For instance, Facebook friend Doug R. posted this on my wall:
   
   First time I placed a bet. Lions -3 1/2. Now I see why you rip refs so much. These guys’ ability to officiate is like Plaxico’s gun control…
   
   I’ve realized that the trick to win football wagers is to hack into the officials’ online sportsbook accounts and find out whom they are betting on that week. Like the refs in the Packers-Lions game were all over Green Bay and the points. It’s a foolproof system.
   
   
7. Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4) – Previously: #7 – No way the Steelers lose to Tim Tebow and the Broncos, right?
   
   By the way, I forgot to show you this mock conversation that forum member CKane posted during the 49ers-Steelers Monday night game when Jon Gruden interviewed Alex Smith:
   
   Jon Gruden: “What made you want to come back to the 49ers?”
   
   Alex Smith: “No one was stupid enough to pay me or let me start.”
   
   Ugh, seriously, what kind of a question is that? No one wanted Smith this past offseason. Thank God there was no Monday night game this week because I’m sick of Gruden.
   
   
8. New York Giants (9-7) – Previously: #8 – Curse you, Giants, for eliminating the Cowboys. This prevented us from watching an epic scene like this unfold in the playoffs:
   
   
   
   
9. Philadelphia Eagles (8-8) – Previously: #9 – I don’t see how the Eagles can replace offensive line coach-turned-defensive coordinator Juan Castillo with Steve Spagnuolo. Spags is a good coach, but Castillo was the first coordinator in league history to do something like this, courtesy of NFL.com:
   
   
   
   That’s even more impressive than a shutout! There’s no way Castillo can be let go.
   
   By the way, I’ll have an interview with Castillo posted later on.
   
   
10. Atlanta Falcons (10-6) – Previously: #13 – I had the Bengals in the No. 10 spot last week, but did you know that they are 0-7 this year against teams currently in the playoffs? That’s pretty bad. The Falcons aren’t much better at 1-4, but 0-7 is ridiculous.
    
    You can see the whole list on my NFL Picks page.
    
    

32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-12) – Previously: #31 – “Stats are for losers.” — Raheem Morris.

Having your team quit on you is a loser’s trait as well. See ya, Raheem.

By the way, I found this amusing:



That’s something you won’t ever hear on ESPN. The sad thing is though, I could see LeGarrette Blount in a learning-disabled class. Speaking of which…



I love GameCenter. You can’t make this stuff up.

31. St. Louis Rams (2-14) – Previously: #32 – It’s time for my weekly bashing of NFL.com’s bogus edge meter:



The 49ers are playing for a bye. The Rams are trying to land the No. 1 pick. Surely, this is a slight edge.

If San Francisco has a slight edge over St. Louis, then perhaps this would apply as well (thanks to Jay B. for this idea):



Emmitt can speak gooder English than someone else! It’s a New Year’s miracle!

30. Indianapolis Colts (2-14) – Previously: #29 – Speak of the devil, Famous GameCenter user Taton is still banned.

I wish I could read what Taton has to say about the Colts firing Bill Polian and the entire front office. Here are the posts Taton would have made on GameCenter if he were still a member:

On Bill Polian’s firing:

– colt fire b.poland!!! b.poland make bad draft pick make good decison fire b.plan bfore he screw up draft and not take a.lock!!!!

On the rest of the front office getting axed:

– jim isray fire all front offece!!! why not fire back offece tooo!!!! jim isray make gay sex with cach cadwell in back offece!!!!!!!!

On Jim Caldwell still keeping his job:

– colt need fire cach caswell!!!! he spend to much tiem licking penas in back offece with jim isray and cristis prainter!!!!

On Peyton Manning being traded by March:

– p.manning throw too many int byebye p.mannnig team you go to have no hoep for playoff!!!!!!

On the Colts starting over with Andrew Luck:

– colt sack for leck and now get beast quarterbak in draft!!! i just hope cach casewell fire so he no lick a.lock penas in back offece with jim isray and cristis prainter!!!!!

29. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11) – Previously: #30 – I love the work that Scott Hanson does on NFL Red Zone, but he said something curious Sunday:

“There are some people in Jacksonville who don’t want the Jaguars to win because of draft position.”

There are people in Jacksonville who care about what the Jaguars do? This is news to me.

28. Cleveland Browns (4-12) – Previously: #28 – Thanks to Jacksonville’s victory and the possibility of Peyton Manning going to Washington, the Browns’ chances of landing Robert Griffin have just improved. They may not even have to move up to No. 3 to get him.

Speaking of Manning, check out this GameCenter post:



Manatee might be on to something. Instead of drafting Andrew Luck, the Colts should replace P Mann with Tee Martin.

27. Minnesota Vikings (3-13) – Previously: #27 – I was scared I was going to lose my Bears pick Sunday when Joe Webb replaced Christian Ponder. Webb inexplicably struggled, however. What happened? Hmm…

The Adventures of Derek Anderson’s Magic Flask!

Joe Webb: This sucks. I’m so much better than that Ponder guy, but my coach doesn’t want to start me for some reason. I need a drink.

Derek Anderson: Diiiid yewww sayyy drriiinnkkk? Iffff yewww wannanerrr beeee startunnn quarrrrbaaakk havvve a sssipp offff thissssss hic!

Joe Webb: I’ll do anything to be the starter.

*** Ten minutes later… ***

Joe Webb: Whooooaaaa wwwuutttt cooolorrr issss myyy teeeammm I foorrrgoott I’lll jussss throwwwww tooo raanddddommzzz ppeeeopplleezzz!!!

The sad thing is that Drunken Webb is still better than Ponder.

26. Buffalo Bills (6-10) – Previously: #26 – Happy New Year! Wait, I won’t get in trouble for saying that, will I?

Here are more Notes from NFL.com GameCenter (all from Facebook friend Jay B):

1. “aaron rodgerss should be mvp”

Apparently there is more than one Aaron Rodgers.

2. “Joe Flacco sux man lmaoooo”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

3. “your mom like the chargers. How do I know?? SHE TALKS IN HER SLEEP BOOM”

And boom goes the dynamite.

25. Washington Redskins (5-11) – Previously: #24 – I love this story. ESPN 980 Washington reported Monday that Redskins inside linebacker Rocky McIntosh “stuffed his bed with pillows/blankets to make it look like he was in and not breaking curfew” during the team’s trip to Philadelphia.

Stupid Rocky. His friend Cameron told him not to take his father’s 1961 Ferrari GT California, but nooooooo, Rocky got caught because he just didn’t listen.

24. Chicago Bears (8-8) – Previously: #23 – Ugh, how snake-bitten are the Bears? If losing Jay Cutler and Matt Forte wasn’t enough, they may not have Brian Urlacher ready for the beginning of next year. My condolences, Chicago fans.

Hey, at least Mike Tice isn’t your defensive coordinator. Moving him into that spot may seem silly, but that’s what the Eagles did with Juan Castillo. As promised, here’s my interview with Castillo:

Me: Hey Juan, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.

Juan Castillo: No problem, Walter.

Me: Your defense struggled early, but really improved in the final quarter of the season. What was the major difference?

Juan Castillo: Our players worked really hard, and the coaching staff worked really hard, and when you work really hard and believe in yourself, good things happen.

Me: But most NFL players work hard. Were there any schematic changes? I noticed you played more man in the final few games.

Juan Castillo: We played more man coverage, but we believed in ourselves and worked hard, and we prepared for our opponent, and when you work hard and believe in yourself, and prepare as best as you can, good things happen.

Me: What about Nnamdi Asomugha? What was the reason for his turn-around late in the year?

Juan Castillo: No one works harder and prepares better than Nnamdi. You should see how hard he works in practice every day and how much he prepares for his opponent each week.

Me: But I’m sure Nnamdi has always worked hard. Why did he suddenly improve in the final few games?

Juan Castillo: Nnamdi just continued to work hard and believe in himself. It was the belief in himself that really carried him. If you work hard, believe in yourself and give it your all, good…

Me: Yeah, I know, good things happen. What sort of things do you need to do to improve this defense next year?

Juan Castillo: I need to continue to work hard and to believe in myself. I need to prepare for my opponents and give it my all, and if that happens, our defense will improve because the players work hard and try hard, and they believe in themselves.

Me: Why do I feel like I’m talking to a broken record here?

Juan Castillo: Because you work hard and you believe in yourself, and you prepared for this interview. I’ve always admired your Web site, Walter, because you work hard and give it your all, and from what I can tell, you believe in yourself, and you prepare for the games each week.

Me: Why, thank you. By the way, what’s your favorite cheesesteak spot in Philly?

Juan Castillo: My favorite is Station in the Krewstown shopping center in Northeast Philadelphia.

Me: Really? Mine too!

Juan Castillo: The workers at Station work hard and believe in themselves, and they prepare the food really well. They give it their all and work hard at making the best food possible, and when you work hard and believe in yourself, good things happen.

Me: How’d I know you were going to say that? All this talk about cheesesteaks has me hungry. Do you know the fastest way to get to Station from Feasterville? I take Bustleton, but there’s always too much traffic.

Juan Castillo: I don’t know the fastest way, but I have no doubt you’ll find the fastest way there if you work hard and believe in yourself. If you prepare for the car ride over and believe in yourself and work hard and give it your all, you’ll get there fast.

Me: Juan, if I wasn’t so hungry, I’d strangle you right now.

23. New York Jets (8-8) – Previously: #14 – Why has Mark Sanchez regressed so much? Is it a lack of talent? Poor football IQ? No. Here’s why:



If I were dating that, I seriously doubt I would have the motivation to improve as a quarterback.


2011 NFL Power Rankings: The Rest:
11. Miami Dolphins (6-10). Previously: #16
12. Cincinnati Bengals (9-7). Previously: #10
13. San Diego Chargers (8-8). Previously: #15
14. Dallas Cowboys (8-8). Previously: #11
15. Houston Texans (10-6). Previously: #19
16. Denver Broncos (8-8). Previously: #12
17. Tennessee Titans (9-7). Previously: #22
18. Carolina Panthers (6-10). Previously: #17
19. Arizona Cardinals (8-8). Previously: #21
20. Seattle Seahawks (7-9). Previously: #20
21. Oakland Raiders (8-8). Previously: #18
22. Kansas City Chiefs (7-9). Previously: #25