Super Bowl LV Live Blog

Welcome to my 15th-annual Super Bowl Live Blog. I’ll be posting comments like this throughout the evening every few minutes. Keep refreshing this page if you want to check out what I think about the game, announcers, commercials, etc.

You can also discuss Super Bowl LV in the comment board below.

Follow @walterfootball for updates.

6:17: And we’re live! For the first time since Super Bowl L, I’m not at the Super Bowl location, for obvious reasons. I was supposed to go to my parents’ house for a Super Bowl party, but a snowstorm here in Philly ruined those plans. So, I’m at home watching with my wife, who hates football. She went to bed at halftime last year when she, Charlie Campbell and I were in Miami.

6:18: This is actually the first Super Bowl I won’t be watching with Charlie since Super Bowl L. Hopefully he’s surviving well without me because I’m getting the shakes!

6:19: Yeah, I’m sure that Neptune Williams sister plays Nintendo Switch.

6:20: I wonder if Vice President Joe Biden knows who’s playing in the Super Bowl. He just read the teams off a teleprompter, but if you were to quiz him right now, he probably wouldn’t know.

6:21: Vince Lombardi wasn’t wearing a mask around those kids! What if they all got sick!!?!?!?

6:22: Not sure about these creepy holograms of dead people. If anything, you have to go the David Lynch route and turn dead people into random objects. Lynch turned David Bowie into a tea kettle!

6:25: What’s with this weird guy in the purple shirt and tie? Why is he pretending to be rocking a baby? And what in the world is H.E.R.? I hate these random remixes of classic songs, like these “artists” think they’re improving something by adding their own touch. It sucks.

6:27: Not sure who this is singing the national anthem, but Jazmine Sullivan sure spent lots of money on her hair. I wonder how many diamond miners died so her hairdo could happen.

6:29: I love how Rob Gronkowski refuses to wear a mask on the sideline. My wife was confused: “Don’t the players have to wear a mask?” No, not Gronk. No one tells Gronk what to do.

6:31: Here’s the coin toss. I bet edge instead of heads or tails. One of these years, I’m going to strike it rich!

6:32: Wow, the NFL is giving us a narrator to describe what captains are. I wasn’t quite sure, but now I know!

6:33: BLAH BLAH BLAH A NURSE DID SOMETHING AT THE HOSPITAL SO SHE’S A CAPTAIN BLAH BLAH BLAH!

6:34: I get a marine captain and a nurse, but why is an “educator” with these two people? Anyone can be an educator.

6:35: Heads!? NOOOOOO!!! Why couldn’t it be edge!?!?!?

6:38: Apparently, some people on Twitter liked the woman telling us what a captain is:

I wonder if these people like TV shows where someone just recites definitions of words. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

6:40: Buccaneers go three-and-out. Tom Brady’s pass was wide of Chris Godwin.

6:42: My wife is already bored. “It’s going to be a great four f**king hours!”

6:43: Mahomes runs for the first down. So frustrating. I need there to be four sacks in this game to win one of my props.

6:45: Buccaneers force a punt after the Mahomes scramble. This is much different than the first meeting that saw Tyreek Hill generate 200 yards in the opening quarter.

6:46: Nice, a new M. Night Shyamalan movie. People love to hate on Shyamalan, but I think he’s the best filmmaker in the world right now. I’m not even being sarcastic.

6:48: “To create the future, we must defy the logic of the past.” Or, you could just create the future without worrying about the past.

6:49: “Let’s get Scotty Miller involved on an end-around!” Why did anyone think this was a good idea?

6:51: There’s quarterback sack No. 1 with Brady going down. Tampa’s punting again.

6:53: Oh wow, they’re coming out with a movie where a man has super-power abilities. That’s a new genre.

6:55: My wife and I aren’t the only ones here. We’re watching this game with our two dogs. Raven, a 2-year-old collie mix, is just staring at me. Sherlock, a 6-year-old boxer mix, is eating a blanket on my couch. I’m the only one interested in this game, apparently.

6:57: The Weekend is performing the halftime show. Much like Doja Cat, yet another person/band/animal I haven’t heard of.

7:00: Mahomes almost sacked!!!! And almost a touchdown!!!! Tyreek Hill dropped the touchdown.

7:01: Harrison Butker good from 49.

Chiefs 3, Buccaneers 0

7:03: Kind of hoping General Motors goes bankrupt (again) after that Will Ferrell commercial.

7:05: Condolences to Marv Levy, who is “living in Chicago these days.”

7:08: My two dogs are now cuddling on the couch:

7:09: Buccaneers in the red zone!

7:10: Antonio Brown with two receptions. Two more, and he hits the over on his personal prop!

7:11: Brady to Rob Gronkowski touchdown!

Buccaneers 7, Chiefs 3

7:13: The Bud Light commercial just mentioned Post Malone, but I’m not seeing him anywhere in the commercial. The last I heard, he was on some cattle ranch. I’ve seen John Stockton more recently because his son played for Gonzaga.

7:14: I just realized I made an incorrect statement earlier. I didn’t watch the Patriots-Eagles Super Bowl LII with Charlie because he went home early. A wise decision to duck out of Minnesota to avoid the sub-zero temperatures! I watched that game with Kenny instead.

7:15: Wow, Mahomes is 1-of-7 for 3 yards.

7:17: The first quarter is over, and my wife has had enough. “I’m going to do paperwork,” she announced.

7:20: Damn it, Mahomes, stop releasing the ball quickly so we can get some sacks!

7:21: Peyton Manning, John Lynch, Charles Woodson, Alan Faneca. A great Hall of Fame class, but why wasn’t Zach Thomas included?

7:22: Ugh, don’t remind me that next year’s Super Bowl is in Los Angeles. I don’t know if I want to go. I’ve never seen the Pacific Ocean, but being in L.A. during the Super Bowl will be a nightmare. It’ll take two hours just to get anywhere.

7:23: Chris Jones with a costly 15-yard penalty.

7:24: Mike Evans down to the 5-yard line!

7:27: Noooooooo, Joe Haeg dropped a touchdown!!!

7:28: Ronald Jones down to the 1-yard line. Fourth down, gotta go for it! Time for a Brady sneak.

7:29: Jones is stuffed!!! Why no Brady sneak? Why no Fournette!?!!?!??

7:30: I can’t stand it when people complain about 2020 being such a bad year. We’re 39 days removed from it being 2020. Were things so much worse 39 days ago? I’d say 2020 was a mixed year. Some good things happened. Some bad things happened. But why would 2021 suddenly be an upgrade? It’s just an arbitary range of days anyway.

7:31: Horrible play-call. Why run with a backup on one of the most important plays of the game? Stupid.

7:33: ThE fIrSt fEmAlE tO oFfIcIaTe ThE sUpEr BoWl!?!?!??!

7:35: My wife, done her paperwork, has transitioned to popping pimples on my back as I’m typing this.

7:37: Shank! The Buccaneers take over in Kansas City territory.

7:40: WTF is Budweiser Zero? Why would you drink a beer with no alcohol?

7:41: Technically a pass to Antonio Brown. One more reception to go!

7:42: Wow! Tyrann Mathieu with the luckiest interception of all time, but it’s going to be negated by a defensive hold. Crazy.

7:43: “Charvarius? Wow, that’s a s**t name” – my wife.

7:45: Tyler Johnson not looking for the ball. I don’t blame him. Why would Brady throw to someone named Tyler Johnson?

7:46: Ryan Succop good from 40, but an offsides gives the Buccaneers a first down.

7:47: Brady to Gronkowski touchdown!

Buccaneers 14, Chiefs 3

7:49: Every online brokerage should be advertising right now after that nonsense Robinhood pulled with GameStop. I’ve gotten so many e-mails/Facebook messages from people asking me my opinion on which brokerage they should join.

7:50: Can’t wait to find out what or who The Weekend is.

7:52: It’s time for some Mega Man humor. The Buccaneers should have gotten Magnet Man to help defend Hardman. There might be one person who understands that joke, but I’m OK with that.

7:53: The Chiefs have gotten over midfield.

7:55: Mahomes and Travis Kelce single-handedly (double-handedly?) have gotten the Chiefs into the red zone.

7:58: The song in the Jason Alexander Tide commercial was a nice touch (“Believe it or not, George isn’t at home…”) but I didn’t quite get the Jason Alexander hoodie.

8:01: Chiefs throw the ball away on third down, should be grounding if he was still in the pocket, but I guess he wasn’t.

Buccaneers 14, Chiefs 6

8:03: Ugh, Adam Levine. I’ll never forgive him for ruining my birthday party. What a dick!

8:06: Is Russell Wilson’s wife wearing a mask over her eyes? That’s new…

8:08: Oh, Chiefs… why did you give Brady more time? Pass interference gives the Buccaneers the ball right near the red zone.

8:11: Pass interference on Mathieu in the end zone!

8:12: Touchdown, Antonio Brown! The Buccaneers go up 21-6, and Brown goes over on receptions!

Buccaneers 21, Chiefs 6

8:15: Mathieu is a great player, but he’s losing his mind. He needs to calm down, or he’ll be responsible for more dumb penalties in the second half.

8:18: Oh, awesome. Paramount Plus. Yet another streaming service I have to pay for.

8:19: I LOLed:

8:24: We’re snowed in, so no delivery. My wife made tacos instead, which are delicious. I will eat them as I learn what or who The Weekend is.

8:25: The NFL is committing $250 million to something that is causing its ratings to decline rapidly. Good idea.

8:26: The Weekend is comprised of a guy wearing a red coat, and a floating person with red eyes, apparently.

8:27: When’s the music going to start? All I’m hearing is a guy sounding like he’s holding in diarrhea as he’s squealing.

8:29: Could we please get some good music? Remember when the NFL had Michael Jackson on at halftime? They should have Jackson perform again. We could get David Lynch to turn him into a tea kettle.

8:31: “Where is Duba Liba?” – my wife. I’m so lost right now.

8:34: This might be the worst halftime show ever. I imagine some idiots on Twitter are wondering why the people playing the violin behind him aren’t wearing masks.

8:36: Nothing wrong with a bunch of creepy people wearing masks and marching around like they’re taking orders from a dictator.

8:39: Does anyone know if Doja Cat appeared? I wasn’t watching very carefully. Not that I know who or what Doja Cat is.

8:43: United Wholesale Mortgage commercial! I listed them on the Top Stocks to Buy page.

8:47: Two plays into the second half, and the Chiefs are already over midfield.

8:50: Chiefs may have to go on fourth-and-7!

8:52: Never mind, a 52-yard field goal attempt. And it’s good.

Buccaneers 21, Chiefs 9

8:57: Jim Nantz just said it was an “unbelievable” halftime show. Unbelievably boring, perhaps.

8:58: Leonard Fournette with a 27-yard touchdown run!

Buccaneers 28, Chiefs 9

9:01: Stop it with Queen Latifah. No one cares. Plus, who calls themselves “Queen?” If she were more humble and went with Countess Latifah or Dutchess Latifah, I could get behind her.

9:03: Sack No. 2!

9:04: Interception! Mahomes, under severe pressure, throws a pick that’s deflected.

9:10: And to think, there are idiots out there who say Leonard Fournette isn’t a good running back.

9:11: Tanner Hudson sighting! He’s a talented player who doesn’t get a chance because there are so many good tight ends on the Tampa roster.

9:13: I don’t think that counts as a sack! Such bulls**t! Anyway, the 52-yard field goal is good.

Buccaneers 31, Chiefs 9

9:15: Finally, a good commercial! I loved the Kelso-Jackie reunion Cheetos commercial with Shaggy. Why didn’t he do the halftime show?

9:19: Speaking of That 70s Show, we need a reboot of that show. And please, no reunion special. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did a reunion special, and it was horrific. I’ll rant about it on Jerks of the Week at some point.

9:21: Crazy that Mahomes just eclipsed 100 passing yards with a minute remaining in the third quarter.

9:25: Final quarter! Fifteen minutes, and all my Tampa bets hit. It’s going to be a very long 15 minutes…

9:27: Going on fourth down!

9:28: How the hell is Mahomes not getting sacked on these plays!? How did Darrel Williams not catch that pass for the touchdown!? Wow!!!

9:32: You have to feel sorry for that little girl. She had a cool moment at the Super Bowl, but all she’ll remember as an adult is that she had to wear a dumb mask.

9:34: Hmm… I wonder who’s going to win MVP…

9:35: Rob Gronkowski, obviously!

9:38: Eight minutes remaining for Mahomes to take two sacks! So intense!

9:41: Nice Jeep commercial. If I were to make one change though, I’d change the entire thing.

9:42: Sack No. 3!

9:44: Mahomes has almost been sacked like eight times in this game. So frustrating!

9:48: Fan on the field!!! Let’s hope he’s wearing a mask, or he could spread a deadly disease. /s

9:51: Look at this lineup. I’d be in first had I played Brady over Mahomes:

9:52: Sack No. 4! YEAH!

9:53: Fourth down incomplete! Game over.

9:56: A Robinhood commercial. They should’ve went with: “If you’re looking to become an investor who will lose money because we cancel your buy orders, set up an account at Robinhood today.”

10:06: We just had our second great Super Bowl commercial, the Michael B. Jordan Alexa one. It almost made me forget that Amazon spies on its customers.

10:07: From the best to the worst. Stephen Colbert and his rotten stench just said something about there needing to be local communities, as if he cares.

10:09: A Mahomes tipped interception to end the game!

10:12: Congratulations to Brady for his seventh Super Bowl, and the Buccaneers for their second franchise Super Bowl, and all of those who followed me and Jacob on our Tampa Super Bowl bets!

10:16: I’m going to have the Super Bowl LV Recap at some point tonight. In the meantime, you can check out our 2021 NFL Mock Draft, 2022 NFL Mock Draft and 2023 NFL Mock Draft here. Thanks for reading my incoherent thoughts throughout this exciting Super Bowl!