Welcome to my 13th-annual Super Bowl Live Blog. I’ll be posting comments like this throughout the evening every few minutes. Keep refreshing this page if you want to check out what I think about the game, announcers, commercials, etc.
You can also discuss Super Bowl LIII in the comment board below.
Follow @walterfootball for updates.
6:15: And we’re underway! I’m live in Atlanta this year. It won’t be as rowdy as Super Bowl LII was, as I spent that game in a Minnesota sports bar with Kenny Ortiz from our podcast. During that game, Kenny yelled at people, some guy got kicked out of the bar, and a woman fell out of her chair. Good times. This year, I’m watching the game from an air B&B with Charlie Campbell and Andrew Scavelli, who has done a great of posting videos on our YouTube page.
6:17: What’s Marshawn Lynch doing at the Man of the Year celebration? He’s the only one there not wearing a suit. Charlie just said, “It looks like Marshawn just woke up and strolled into the stadium randomly.”
6:19: My wife asked me via text if I was going to the game. I don’t think it’s worth paying $3,200 a ticket for. I might go one year and retroactively write my Super Bowl live blog, but it would have to be a good matchup. This should really be Saints-Chiefs, but we’re not getting the best teams from each conference.
6:20: The Atlanta sister girl on the right looks like an alien. The one on the left is wearing hoop earrings as large as the rings of Saturn. We’re off to a good start.
6:22: If you listened to our podcast, you may have heard that I didn’t know who Gladys Knight was. I didn’t even know Gladys Knight was a woman. Gladys Knight could’ve easily been a title of someone, like an actual knight. That just goes to show how much I care about pop culture. This woman/knight invididual has been nominated for 20 Emmys, or whatever they just said.
6:24: The Knight of Gladys really held her “free” word. Kenny had the over for the national anthem being sung, so I imagine that he just got his first prop bet correct.
6:25: Just confirmed! Kenny’s text: “First prop won!” Congrats, Kenny! Considering Kenny practiced singing the national anthem, he definitely deserved to win.
6:27: Oh cool, the Grammy Awards are on CBS in a week. How fun. It’s interesting that Post Malone will be playing there. I always hoped Post Malone would win a championship with the Jazz, but I’m glad he’s found a second career.
6:30: Hmm, OK, the Patriots lose the coin toss now. I guess Bill Belichick will only cheat the coin toss in overtime.
6:31: What was that April movie? That doesn’t seem to be a good title for a film that appears to be about super heroes.
6:33: Some guy on NFL Network said that the key to the game for the Rams winning the coin toss and getting the ball first to keep Tom Brady off the field. Oops!
6:34: Nice return by the Patriots. Here we go! (Even though Tony Romo didn’t say it.)
6:35: The Rams run for a 13-yard gain by Sony Michel on the first play of the game. Wow!
6:37: Tom Brady intercepted on his first throw! Nickell Robey-Coleman tips the ball, without hitting the receiver before the ball got there.
6:39: Well, that was underwhelming. The Rams went three and out after gaining just two yards. New England’s defense was awful in early December. It’s crazy how they’ve turned things around.
6:42: Serena Williams peddling Bumble, whatever the hell that is. I’m guessing that’s a new social media program. If so, thank God. We barely have any social media programs as it is, so we desperately needed another one.
6:44: We just had our first third-down conversion, with Tom Brady hitting Julian Edelman on a third-and-9. But what a hit by Ndamukong Suh! That was a loss of a billion yards.
6:45: Oh, so now the Rams are getting called for a hit on a defenseless player? Nickell Robey-Coleman actually didn’t commit a penalty that time, ironically. The officiating continues to be terrible.
6:47: After the Saints-Rams horse s**t game, I’ve decided to keep track of bogus calls/non-calls. Thus far, the Rams are leading in the getting f***ed category, 1-0.
6:49: That Turkish Airlines movie looks awesome. Can’t wait to watch it. The girl is hot, and the plot looks interesting.
6:51: Actually, now that I think about it, maybe Hollywood making a movie about the Turks isn’t a good idea. Knicks center Enes Kanter criticized the Turkish Prime Minister, and he can’t even leave this country because he feared getting murdered.
6:54: Oh look, it’s the sultan of Saudi Arabia! Whoops, that’s Roger Goodell. It’s so easy to get those two confused.
6:55: Draw on third-and-8! That’s saying a lot. Stephen Gostkowski wide left from 46!
6:58: So, we have two super hero movies coming up, April and Captain Marvel. The latter sounds like the better title, but I will see neither because super hero movies suck.
6:59: Nice move by Josh Reynolds to cross midfield.
7:01: Nice pass break-up by Patrick Chung to force a fourth down. I wondered if the Rams would go for it, but they’re punting.
7:06: Tom Brady taking the field for the third time. It feels like the Patriots have had the ball for most of this game thus far, but no score yet.
7:07: Brady nearly intercepted again! The pass was behind Chris Hogan, and Marcus Peters almost got it.
7:09: Brady strip-sacked! The Patriots recover, but Brady held the ball way too long.
7:10: Aaron Donald hits Brady as he throws, forces the fourth down. Now, the Patriots punt just over midfield.
7:13: Michael Scott left The Office to do Pepsi commercials with Lil’ John? Not the best career move, but I don’t know much about Hollywood, so what do I know?
7:15: I thought the twist on that electronic Audi car commercial was that he would be in hell because he was driving an electronic car instead of a normal gas car.
7:18: Another three-and-out by the Rams. This is not good offense. It really sucks the Saints didn’t make it, as they should have. If Roger Goodell weren’t so spineless, he would’ve ordered the NFC Championship to be replayed last Sunday.
7:19: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES!!! The Bud Light King destroyed by the Mountain and Drogon in a Game of Thrones commercial. Best ad I’ve ever seen, and it’s not even close.
7:20: Why the World’s Best? I’d rather watch a show called the World’s Worst. That would be far more entertaining.
7:23: Big play by Julian Edelman! Patriots inside Rams territory again.
7:25: Rob Gronkowski takes a big hit on third down. This time, the kick is good.
Patriots 3, Rams 0
7:26: I sincerely doubt there are 318,000 combinations for stacking Pringles flavors.
7:27: Ah cool, it’s a typical Silicon Valley bulls**t commercial where they try to tell people how much better they are than everyone else because they care.
7:29: Not sure if Robert Woods is inbounds, but I won’t count that in the getting f***ed category because Bill Belichick could’ve thrown the challenge flag.
7:31: Unreal that Todd Gurley still isn’t playing. He should at least be on the field as a distraction.
7:34: Ugh, it pisses me off when people write “bae.” It’s baBe. Put the second “B” in there, you f***ers!
7:37: Patriots-Saints would be so much better right now. The Rams are at least near midfield…
7:39: Who is Tony Harris? They made her out to be some sort of female football player, so is she in the American Allegiance of Alliances of Amercian Allegiances Football of Alliances League? Can’t wait for Christian Hackenberg to carve up those defenses!
7:40: Todd Gurley back in the game! Rams at midfield.
7:41: Jared Goff takes a big sack on third-and-2. They could’ve gone for it on fourth down, but that’s no longer an option. Goff had the same deer-in-the-headlights look we saw as a rookie. Can we get the Saints to replace these bums in the second half?
7:44: I was so excited that The Twilight Zone was coming back, but it’s on CBS All-Access, unfortunately. Comcast doesn’t carry that channel, so I guess I won’t be watching. Womp, womp.
7:49: One of the most unlikeable characters in recent commercials is that red-head in those accounting commercials, the one who rejects the guy who has the “Cat Culator” app. She’s just a snooty, know-it-all, un-fun b***h. How can you not like a guy who got funding for a cool app like that?
7:51: We just ordered pizza and mozzarella sticks from a local pizza joint. It’s quite good, but I fully expect to s**t myself by the end of this game.
7:53: I think I go for it here if I’m the Patriots. It’s a fourth-and-1 from the 31.
7:54: Brady to Gronkowski is incomplete! Cory Littleton with a nice pass break-up. Littleton has been awesome in this game.
7:55: …And Jared Goff takes a sack. Why couldn’t this be Drew Brees?
7:56: Goff throws the ball late, and the Rams go three-and-out again. Yawn.
7:57: And it’s halftime after a boring first half. The good news is that if there are four or more points scored in the second half (plus overtime), I win a prop!
8:00: I hope the twist in this CBS God show is that Satan is the one sending this dude the Facebook friend request.
8:02: “Can we call this off and have the Saints and Patriots play in the Super Bowl next week?” – Charlie Campbell. So right.
8:03: “Phil Simms saying ‘I told you so?’ I wonder if there was a prop bet on that.” – Charlie Campbell. Charlie is on fire!
8:04: Jared Goff is 5-of-12 for 52 yards and eight deer-in-the-headlights looks.
8:05: IT’S TIME FOR THE BIGGEST CONCERT EVAR FEATURING MALOON 5, TRAVIS SCOTT AND BIG BOY!!! Who the f**k are Travis Scott and Big Boy? I know Maloon 5 because Adam Levine is the main guy, and he intentionally ruined my birthday party one year.
8:06: This is a great NFL former players commercial, but they should’ve had Emmitt Smith say, “They got debacled.”
8:07: “That girl ruined the whole commercial.” – Andrew. So true. Who the hell was that?
8:08: There’s Adam Levine, a guy who sings like a girl and ruins birthday parties. What a dick. Go away.
8:09: Six of Kenny’s props have cashed already. Unfortunately, President Trump has yet to tweet, so Kenny may not win the over tweets bet. What if Trump bet the under on that prop!?
8:11: Is this Travis Scott or Big Boy? Either way, this isn’t music. It’s just some idiot yelling into a microphone. What the hell is our world coming to?
8:13: Is this the worst Super Bowl halftime show of all time? They’re always bad, but I feel like this is taking it to a whole new level.
8:14: Is this woman Big Boy? I assumed Big Boy would be, you know, a boy, but you can’t assume anything nowadays.
8:15: I hope the orange balloons they have floating around don’t impact the game in the second half. Then again, Jared Goff needs all the help he can get.
8:17: Some poor animal had to die so that this rapper guy could look cool at the lamest Super Bowl halftime show of all time.
8:18: I know he’s my arch nemesis and all, but Adam Levine has way too many tattoos. Some number of tattoos can be cool, but if you have that many, they lose their luster.
8:21: Thank God this abomination is over.
8:25: “Dream big, kid. Dream big.” Or, how about you be realistic?
8:30: Charlie just played “Phone, wallet, keys” by Adam Sandler for me. If you haven’t seen that yet, check it out. It’s hilarious, and it should’ve been the halftime show.
8:31: Jared Goff intercepted!!! BUT NO, IT’S DROPPED BY DONT’A HIGHTOWER, AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
8:32: Patrick Chung injured on the tackle.
8:37: Charlie and I just had a 5-minute discussion on why Star Wars sucks now (stemming from no Star Wars commercial.) If you haven’t seen Episodes VII and VIII yet, consider yourself lucky.
8:38: Jared Goff now 0-for-6 on third down. Where is Drew Brees!?
8:39: Julian Edelman is MVP thus far, by the way.
8:40: And there’s the impending MVP with a big play!
8:41: Big play by Marcus Peters to defend Edelman on third down. Patriots to punt.
8:44: That Lyft T-Mobile commercial was the third good commercial we’ve seen, with the first two being the Game of Thrones one, and the second being the NFL player one, though I’m still disappointed that Emmitt didn’t say debacled.
8:45: “If I wanted to watch two guys fail to score, I would’ve taken my two friends to the bar.” – Andrew
8:47: Goff now 0-for-7 on third down, but at least we just the longest punt in Super Bowl history. Yaaaayyyyy!
8:49: Devour with the fourth good commercial of the Super Bowl thus far.
8:50: I’m not sure who Alicia Keys is, but she’s hosting the Grammys, which is some sort of an awards show. For those watching, I hope you enjoy all the fart sniffing from celebrities who tell us why they’re better people than us.
8:54: Here comes another punt. I needed four points in the second half, but I’m not sure I’m going to get it.
8:57: Rams have the ball again. I think we’re another punt away from re-re-naming Jared Goff to Jared Goof again.
8:58: Rams over midfield on a pass to Brandin Cooks.
8:59: If that throw-away didn’t hit C.J. Anderson’s arm, that would’ve been intercepted!
9:00: “Christian Hackenberg kidnapped Jared Goff and has him tied up in his hotel room.” – Charlie
9:02: Goff had the touchdown to Cooks, but threw too late! The Patriots had enough time to break up the pass.
9:03: Goff sacked on third down! The Rams have to try a long field goal.
9:04: Greg Zuerlein good from 53! We’re tied up.
Patriots 3, Rams 3
9:06: Wow, first 50-plus field goal in the Super Bowl in 15 years. That’s crazy.
9:08: If the Rams win 6-3, is Greg Zuerlein MVP!?
9:13: An NFC personnel man Charlie speaks to regularly just said that the Patriots are setting up the Rams with a long Phillip Dorsett touchdown.
9:14: But not on this drive! The pass is incomplete. Fourth down.
9:16: Goff forgot the snap count!!! WOW!!!
9:17: Wow, the Rams just caught a huge break! C.J. Anderson fumbled, but the ball trickled out of bounds.
9:20: OK, some nice commercials here with the Bud Light Trojan horse and the Microsoft ad where handicapped children can play video games. That’s cool, but I still can’t believe Goff forgot his own snap count. Unreal. He’s so frazzled.
9:22: Wow, the Rams just got bailed out by a big defensive hold. Legitimate call, though Andrew said he saw holding on the left tackle as well.
9:24: Gurley with his best run, but… holding on the offense.
9:26: Andrew Whitworth just got away with another blatant hold.
9:27: And another punt. It’s official. Jared Goof is quarterbacking the Rams. Only a man named Jared Goof could forget his own snap count.
9:31: Patriots over midfield! Almost in field goal range for possibly the game-winning score.
9:32: Gronk to the 2-yard line!
9:33: “Goff’s like, ‘Oh s**t, I can’t score a touchdown!'” – Charlie
9:34: Touchdown, Sony Michel!
Patriots 10, Rams 3
9:36: This game is over. Goff is right. He can’t score a touchdown.
9:39: Big third-and-9 conversion, Goff to Josh Reynolds. Rams now in Patriots territory.
9:40: Cooks drops a touchdown! Oh no!
9:41: And Goof is intercepted. The Rams have 4:17 and two timeouts remaining to stop the Patriots.
9:42: Shut up, Stephen Colbert.
9:43: CBS cares! Oh man, I didn’t think CBS cared, but now I know that CBS cares!
9:45: Sony Michel with a big run. This game is over.
9:46: Illegal use of hands to the face instead of a hold. On Dante Fowler. So much for that trade.
9:48: Rex Burkhead just gashed the Rams. Rex Burkhead! The defense has given up. They know they can’t win with Jared Goof.
9:55: If the Patriots cross the first-down line, the Rams should let them score.
9:56: Sony Michel is short! The Rams still have one more chance for Jared Goof to screw up!
9:58: Here comes Gostkowski. The Patriots should’ve tried to draw the Rams offsides.
10:00: The kick is good! Patriots win! (But Rams could still push.)
Patriots 13, Rams 3
10:01: So, I’m guessing Julian Edelman is MVP?
10:04: And Greg Zuerlein misses. Game. Patriots cover. Vegas takes a huge loss.
10:05: Tom Brady wins his sixth Super Bowl. Amazing. Edelman has to win Most Valuable Player. Jared Goff wins Least Valuable Player. And we all lose for watching that frustrating game and dreadful halftime show.
10:10: I’m going to have the Super Bowl LIII Recap at some point tonight. In the meantime, you can check out our 2019 NFL Mock Draft, 2020 NFL Mock Draft and 2021 NFL Mock Draft here. Thanks for reading my incoherent thoughts throughout this incredibly frustrating Super Bowl!
2024 NFL Mock Draft - April 23
NFL Power Rankings - Feb. 22
Fantasy Football Rankings - Feb. 19
NFL Picks - Feb. 12
