Live 2023 NBA Draft Blog

What is this? This is my 15th-annual NBA Draft Blog. I’ll be posting my thoughts about the first round of the NBA Draft here. That will include everything from the actual picks, to the ESPN “personalities,” to the commercials, etc. Anything goes. This page will be updated every five minutes or so, so I hope you join me for the 2023 NBA Draft!

Also, I will be posting NBA Draft Grades on this page. I’m doing the grades this year, rather than David Kay, so it’s just easier for me to do it here.

Oh, and for the first time, I’ll be posting the most-recent comments at the top, rather than the bottom. This is by request, so let me know if you like or hate this new formatting.

Follow me on Twitter @walterfootball for updates.

7:40: We’ll be posting Live 2023 NBA Draft Grades this year!

Also, this is the fourth time I’ll be watching the NBA Draft without my dad in my sports fan life. My mom isn’t feeling well, so I didn’t want to catch anything and spread it to my son. Maybe I’ll get some crazy texts from my dad if the 76ers do something dumb, but the 76ers don’t have a pick anyway, so I don’t think he’d even be awake beyond pick No. 10.

7:42: I see Scoot Henderson is spending his future money very wisely with those diamonds on his suit. There’s no way he’ll ever go bankrupt with that sort of financial savvy.

7:44: Oh no, Michael Jordan will have only one more opportunity to ruin a draft in Charlotte.

7:45: It’s nice of ESPN to invite the sideline reporters onto the set for once. I’m sure both of them were tired of standing up.

7:46: Speaking of the sideline reporters, one of them was talking about how excited France is for this draft. As I was hearing this, my only thought was, “Who the f**k cares about France?”

7:47: Oh, a third sideline reporter who is actually doing sideline reporting.

7:48: The two Thompson twins should have a battle to the death to see which one is drafted first.

7:50: Oh cool. You get 2 percent cash back on a Capital One credit card even though you’re paying 19-percent interest.

7:53: No one told me Jheri curls were making a comeback. I’ll have to get some.

7:54: Why is Gradey Dick dressed like a super villain from a superheroes movie?

7:56: I wish they’d introduce the people standing next to each prospect. “This creepy guy standing next to Prospect So-and-So is a bad touch uncle who has molested more kids than Joe Biden.”

7:58: “This pretty girl standing next to Gradey Dick is a gold digger who plans to extract all wealth from her boyfriend.”

8:04: If my dad isn’t asleep yet, he’s looking at Adam Silver and saying stuff I can’t repeat on this Web site. But also: “F**k you, you f**king piece of s**t, you look like a f**king dick!”

8:05: The NBA really bailed out Gregg Popovich, who hasn’t been the same since he lost his mind in 2017.

8:08: One of the sideline reporters finally got up from the desk, but I am confused because she’s not interviewing anyone.

8:09: OK good, the sideline reporters are now interviewing J.J. Redick.

8:11: “F**K you, Adam Silver, you f**king penis!”

With the No. 1 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Spurs pick Victor Wembanyama, C, France

8:12: One of the sideline reporters just called Victor Wembanyama one of the greatest players to ever walk on the stage. Let’s see him play an NBA game first.

8:13: What a group to be paired with! Manute Bol, Shawn Bradley, Taco Fall, what great players!

8:15: I’ve been watching too much Succession lately because I half expected Victor Wembanyama’s brother and sister to backstab Victor, or at least say something bad about him.

With the No. 2 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Hornets pick Brandon Miller, F, Alabama

8:20: One of the sideline reporters tipped the pick. Get them off the set! Where are the real NBA analysts?

8:22: I like that Brandon Miller’s dad talked up his son’s character. That means the dad’s either a liar, or he truly believes his son is a good kid, and hopefully it’s the latter for Charlotte.

With the No. 3 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Blazers pick Scoot Henderson, PG, USA

8:25: I hope Scoot Henderson doesn’t wear these diamonds in public when he’s in Portland because someone will steal them. Crime is legal in Portland, so let’s hope that Henderson knows this.

8:26: The Russell Westbrook comparison isn’t the great endorsement they think it is…

8:28: The NBA Draft is already behind Twitter. I don’t understand how these professional leagues can’t synch up with the TV broadcasts.

8:30: Imagine a world where J.J. Redick gets $23 million to play for one year. Wow.

With the No. 4 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Rockets pick Amen Thompson, G, OTE

8:33: What if the Thompson twins decided to switch places tonight? Like, what if the guy in the white suit is Ausar Thompson and not Amen Thompson? Would anyone ever know? I sense a new Lindsay Lohan movie!

8:35: Amen/Fake Amen Thompson said he’s excited to be a Rocket. Do you think he knows anyone’s name on the team?

8:36: Why was Amen/Fake Amen Thompson asked about celebrating? He hasn’t even played an NBA game yet. What’s there to celebrate?

With the No. 5 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Pistons pick Ausar Thompson, G, OTE

8:41: I’m getting a Jacob/Man in Black vibe here with the Thompson twins dressed in white and black. If so, the Pistons win because the Man in Black was able to turn into a smoke monster.

With the No. 6 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Magic pick Anthony Black, G, Arkansas

8:45: I can’t believe ESPN hasn’t gone to commercial yet. I’ve been dying to take a piss this whole time!

8:47: It’s cool that the two Black brothers have a special gene that give them a piece of blond hair somewhere on their head.

With the No. 7 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Bullets pick Bilal Coulibaly, F, France

8:50: The Bullets are having an interesting night. First, they traded Chris Paul even though he wasn’t on their roster, and now, they’ve traded up for a prospect who could have gone five picks later.

With the No. 8 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Pacers pick Jarace Walker, F, Houston

8:55: Five picks correct in my mock thus far. I’ll take it!

8:56: Poor Jarace Walker doesn’t have any family or friends to join him on the couch.

8:57: If I were with my dad, he’d yell, “Jazz on the clock! Best white player available!”

With the No. 9 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Jazz pick Taylor Hendricks, PF, Central Florida

9:05: As you can tell by my 8-minute absence, I was able to go to the bathroom. I had to drop a deuce in addition to piss. Thought you’d like to know.

9:07: Six picks correct in the top nine. Not bad!

With the No. 10 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Thunder pick Cason Wallace, G, Kentucky

9:11: We just got “I’m heartbreaken” and “He’s came a long way.” Some of these people took grammar lessons from Emmitt Smith, apparently.

With the No. 11 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Magic pick Jett Howard, G, Michigan

9:16: So, J.J. Redick can’t question Jett Howard’s professionalism because his dad was a hard worker in the NBA? How do the two correlate? If Jett Howard’s dad was a criminal, would Redick also question Jett’s character?

9:19: I saw Jett Howard’s mom/Juwan Howard’s wife’s dress out of the corner of my eye, and I assumed it was a very young sister.

9:21: It’s the middle of June, and I’m wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. Where is this great global warming we were promised?

With the No. 12 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Mavericks pick Dereck Lively, C, Duke

9:26: So, are the two sideline reporters never leaving the ESPN main set, or?

With the No. 13 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Raptors pick Gradey Dick, G/F, Kansas

9:32: Gradey Dick is the biggest loser of this draft. First, he exposed himself as a super villain. Second, he will be going to Canada. Yuck! And third, no one joined him on the couch.

9:33: Here come Gradey Dick’s slaves, I mean parents, to join him on the couch, as per his command.

9:34: My dad wants the 76ers to trade Tobias Harris to the Pelicans for Zion Williamson. No way the Pelicans do this, right?

9:35: Herbert Jones and Trey Murphy is an exciting young core?

9:36: Whoa, I forgot about Cam Whitmore. What happened to him?

9:37: We already know about this trade, a**hole!

With the No. 14 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Pelicans pick Jordan Hawkins, G, Connecticut

9:40: “I see a lot of Ray Allen in him, obviously.” – one of the sideline reporters. Can someone tell the sideline reporter that you shouldn’t compare the 14th-overall pick to a Hall of Famer?

9:41: Seven picks correct! I thought I’d be lucky to get five!

9:42: I’m upset that no one’s bad touch uncle has made it to the interview couch just yet.

With the No. 15 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Hawks pick Kobe Bufkin, G, Michigan

9:45: “So much pride is running through us right now.” Pride is one of the seven sins! Can someone say that they have gluttony running through us right now? That actually applies to me because I am fat.

9:46: It must be exciting to be drafted, but the downside is that you have to shake hands with the human penis when you walk on stage.

With the No. 16 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Jazz pick Keyonte George, G, Baylor

9:52: Eight picks correct! I have no idea how I’m doing this.

9:53: I think Beverley Goldberg wore an outfit identical to Keyonte George’s jacket.

9:56: My dad just called me. I was hoping he’d yell about the 76ers not doing anything. Instead, he yelled about their 4-month-old puppy pooping on the floor, which he had to clean because my mom’s in bed already.

9:57: Lakers ran out of time! Quick, Heat, make the pick!

With the No. 17 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Lakers pick Jalen Hood-Schifino, PG, Indiana

10:02: Since no one’s bad touch uncle is making it to the couch, I’ll ask the questions.

“Hey, bad touch uncle, are you proud of your nephew?”

“Yes, when all the kids were touching my hairy legs at the pool, I knew that my nephew would be a great NBA draft pick one day.”

With the No. 18 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Heat pick Jaime Jaquez, F, UCLA

10:08: Oh look, the Heat drafted another high-energy bench guy.

10:10: Why did that third ESPN sideline reporter throw in the Mexican part before asking Jaime’s parents if they were proud of their son? What did that have to do with anything?

10:11: It’s cool that the Bullets got stuff for Chris Paul when he wasn’t even on their roster.

With the No. 19 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Warriors pick Brandin Podziemski, G, Santa Clara

10:14: Hey Brandin, you’re the first Santa Clara player drafted since last year!

10:15: It’s nice of Dana Perino to join Podziemski on the couch.

With the No. 20 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Heat pick Cam Whitmore, F, Villanova

10:21: It’s so difficult to draft successful players beyond the top few picks in the NBA Draft, so why not draft Cam Whitmore? I don’t get why he lasted so long.

10:26: These coach interviews are so boring. “He worked so hard, hardest worker I’ve ever seen, I’m so proud of him, he’s such a high-character guy.” Every time.

With the No. 21 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Nets pick Noah Clowney, F, Alabama

10:30: I thought I may have gotten my ninth pick correct, but I slotted Noah Clowney one pick earlier to Houston. Argh, so close!

10:32: Bad question by the sideline reporter to bring up Ben Simmons. He is completely irrelevant.

With the No. 22 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Nets pick Dariq Whitehead, G, Duke

10:37: Is anyone going to watch The Chi? I personally can’t wait to tune into a show about a collapsing city with corrupt politicians and extremely high crime.

With the No. 23 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Blazers pick Kris Murray, F, Iowa

10:42: I remember coming off my parents’ cell phone family plan. It was terrifying.

10:43: I was off by one pick again! I had Kris Murray going to the Kings.

With the No. 24 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Mavericks pick Olivier-Maxence Prosper, F, Marquette

10:48: The Celtics are on the clock. My dad was thrilled about the Marcus Smart trade. “I hate when Marcus Smart plays against the 76ers, and Porzingis can’t cover Embiid at all.”

10:50: I wonder how the Nuggets-Celtics series would have gone had Jayson Tatum not gotten hurt.

With the No. 25 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Pistons pick Marcus Sasser, G, Houston

10:54: The Pistons have a million guard, a million centers, and no forwards.

With the No. 26 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Pacers pick Ben Sheppard, F, Belmont

With the No. 27 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Hornets pick Nick Smith Jr., G, Arkansas

11:01: Wow, I forgot about Nick Smith Jr. He shouldn’t have fallen so much.

11:02: Going back to the previous pick, I wonder which Belmont Belmont University is named after. Is it Simon Belmont? Trevor Belmont? Why not both?

With the No. 28 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Jazz pick Brice Sensabaugh, F, Ohio State

With the No. 29 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Nuggets pick Julian Strawther, F, Gonzaga

11:12: As ESPN is talking about player salaries, I still can’t get over that J.J. Redick was paid $23 million for one year. That’s almost as bad as all the money we’re sending to Ukraine.

11:13: Why are the Clippers in Los Angeles? They’re so irrelevant there. They should just move to San Diego or Las Vegas.

With the No. 30 pick in the 2023 NBA Draft, the Clippers pick Kobe Brown, F, Missouri

11:17: The Clippers want to be the Lakers so bad that they reached for a player named Kobe. Sad.

11:18: That is it for the live NBA Draft blog! Thanks so much for reading, and thanks to ESPN for the innovation of putting two sideline reporters on the main set. It made so much sense for them to interview the two NBA analysts on the set, so great job, ESPN! Anyway, we’ll have team grades at some point soon, and the rest of our NFL season previews will be posted in the coming weeks.

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