Big Ten Returns

I once joked to a friend that as a journalist, my profession’s importance was somewhere in between assistant park ranger and middle school intern janitor. He shook his head in disbelief.

“Come on, you know that’s not true,” he said. “An assisant park ranger can help stop a forest fire, and a middle school intern janitor will one day be a full janitor, and he’ll clean up a mess that’ll prevent kids from tripping and snapping their necks.”

I realized he was right. Journalists are worthless compared to assistant park rangers and middle school intern janitors.

Of course, that’s not the case for everyone. There are some journalists out there who do great work. I’d like to stress the word “some,” because most of them are vile scum who lie to the American public by pushing fake news to promote their own political agenda. Sadly, you can’t trust what any journalist writes because so many of them fabricate the truth. It sucks, but that’s the sad reality of the situation.

This has never been more apparent than during the pandemic. So many falsehoods about the virus have been published, it’s impossible to know where to begin. But we can focus on football, and the fact that sportswriters have strongly politicized college football. This coalition of journalists, known by Outkick CEO Clay Travis as the “Coronabros,” has collaborated to prevent college football from being played. College football players were never in any danger from playing their sport because young, healthy people aren’t affected by the virus. Yet, sports journalists constantly chided anyone who argued otherwise. They made it their mission to stop college football from happening, as it was apparent that they were doing this for political reasons.

The “Coronabros” seemed to claim an early victory when the Big Ten and the Pac-12 canceled their seasons, but the SEC, Big XII and ACC used science and data to determine that playing the 2020 season was the only logical conclusion. This made the Big Ten and Pac-12 look terrible, so the former finally felt the pressure and caved.

This pleased everyone except for the pious sports journalists. In fact, one of them published this article:

Imagine believing that players returning to safely take part in football games is somehow “darker” than Jerry Sandusky raping little boys. And, no, this Christine Brennan individual didn’t forget about Sandusky. We know this because of her next tweet:

“Four of the worst sex abuse scandals in US history: Jerry Sandusky at PSU; Larry Nassar at MSU; Richard Strauss at OSU; Robert Anderson at Michigan. All that evil, all on Big Ten campuses. Chilling. Today is about an awful conference-wide sports decision.”

So, yes, Brennan actually believes that college football being played this fall is worse than little boys being sodomized. Ladies and gentlemen, your journalism class. I hope you can now see that assistant park rangers and middle school intern janitors are more important.

In her nonsensical article in USA Today, Brennan chided the Big Ten repeatedly. “I never would have expected the Big Ten presidents to be so shaky, so fearful, so afraid of their own shadow,” she wrote, completely oblivious that she and other journalists like her are so shaky and fearful of a virus that doesn’t impact younger people. The median age of death is 75. That is approximately the age of life expectancy. That’s some dangerous virus that kills people when they’re supposed to die.

Brennan addressed the elderly problem as well, neglecting to cite that there are very few old people on college campuses:

“Rapid tests for football players, but apparently not for the elderly in Ann Arbor or Columbus or Evanston, or for school children and teachers in Bloomington or New Brunswick or Minneapolis.”

I’m not sure why she mentioned school children because they don’t die from the virus. The elderly do, but wouldn’t that be the case for the elderly everywhere? Why is the grandmother of a Rutgers’ backup linebacker not in danger when living with her grandson at home? Wouldn’t sending her grandson off to a campus bubble actually be safer for her? Then again, grandma probably kicked the bucket when governor Phil Murphy paraded sick people into nursing homes like Andrew Cuomo and Tom Wolf’s eunuch.

Of course, an anti-college football story wouldn’t be complete with a dosage of Trump Derangement Syndrome:

“We could call it the Trumpeting of the Big Ten. It was just two weeks ago that Trump, desperate to win votes in Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania, told the conference to play football.”

Does Brennan not realize how much of a hypocrite she is? She and many others in her profession politicized college football for months, and yet it’s wrong that President Trump did it? I’d be shocked by this lack of self-awareness, but this is coming from a woman who trivializes little boys being raped.

Brennan spent the rest of the article talking about herself, as you might expect from an arrogant and self-absorbed journalist:

“I grew up in Big Ten country, in the suburbs of Toledo, Ohio, in a family that spent fall Saturdays at Michigan games. I went to Northwestern University, where I received undergraduate and master’s degrees.”

Yes, yes, yes, blah, blah, blah, no one cares about your childhood or your worthless pieces of paper you obtained for remaining in school for far too long. And most of all, no one cares about your profession because of trash articles like this.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a forest fire not to save because I’ll be writing something else.

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