Humor

Jerks of the Week for March 15, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady I’ve been watching countless hours of college basketball to prepare for the 2010 NCAA Tournament. As a degenerate gambler, I’m determined to win money this March. The only time this past week I hadn’t…

Jerks of the Week for Feb. 22, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Snow and Fat Kids If you’re lucky enough to live in warm weather, you may not have heard that the northeast part of this country was pelted with massive amounts of snow recently. Three Fridays ago, we were hit with 27…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 14, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: University of Kansas If you don’t follow college football – and because there’s no legit champion, I can’t blame you if you don’t – the University of Kansas fired its head coach Mark Mangino. This surprised me at first because Mangino…

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 14, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Terrelle Pryor If you don’t follow college football and aren’t familiar with Terrelle Pryor, he’s the starting quarterback for Ohio State. Pryor drew some attention two weekends ago when he wore a patch that said “VICK” under his left eye in…

Jerks of the Week for Oct. 26, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Oompa Loompa If you’ve never seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (no, that is not a gay porno), Oompa Loompas are orange-faced, green-haired midgets who work in this strange guy’s chocolate factory (no, not a porn store). These Oompa Loompas take…

Jerks of the Week for April 26, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Pukemon Just to let you know how much I’ve been wrapped up in the 2010 NFL Draft – don’t worry, I’ll have Jerks from the 2010 NFL Draft next week – I completely missed the famous Pukemon story; I found out…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 4, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Parx Casino As many of you on Facebook may know, I was searching for something to do on New Year’s Eve. My Facebook friends promised me a good time in Chicago, Houston, Phoenix and even Australia, but with the NFL season…

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 23, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Chinese Restaurants I hate Chinese food. There, I said it. I know this makes me racist, but I don’t care. I refuse to eat 99 percent of all Chinese food. Unfortunately, I was forced into going to a Chinese-Japanese restaurant for…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 21, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks at the Mall I’m a last-minute holiday shopper. Last year, I went to the mall the day before Christmas Eve. When I stopped at the bank prior to the mall and I told the cougar bank teller that I hadn’t started my…

Jerks of the Week for March 1, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Figure Skating I was talking to Awesome Kelly in Arizona on Saturday night. I asked her when the Olympics would finally be over, and she immediately responded, “F***ing never.” Intrigued that she might be the only female alive who despises the…