Jerks of the Week for Oct. 26, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Oompa Loompa If you’ve never seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (no, that is not a gay porno), Oompa Loompas are orange-faced, green-haired midgets who work in this strange guy’s chocolate factory (no, not a porn store). These Oompa Loompas take…

Jerks of the Week for April 26, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Pukemon Just to let you know how much I’ve been wrapped up in the 2010 NFL Draft – don’t worry, I’ll have Jerks from the 2010 NFL Draft next week – I completely missed the famous Pukemon story; I found out…

Jerks of the Week for Jan. 4, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Parx Casino As many of you on Facebook may know, I was searching for something to do on New Year’s Eve. My Facebook friends promised me a good time in Chicago, Houston, Phoenix and even Australia, but with the NFL season…

Jerks of the Week for Nov. 23, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Chinese Restaurants I hate Chinese food. There, I said it. I know this makes me racist, but I don’t care. I refuse to eat 99 percent of all Chinese food. Unfortunately, I was forced into going to a Chinese-Japanese restaurant for…

Jerks of the Week for Dec. 21, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks at the Mall I’m a last-minute holiday shopper. Last year, I went to the mall the day before Christmas Eve. When I stopped at the bank prior to the mall and I told the cougar bank teller that I hadn’t started my…

Jerks of the Week for March 1, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Figure Skating I was talking to Awesome Kelly in Arizona on Saturday night. I asked her when the Olympics would finally be over, and she immediately responded, “F***ing never.” Intrigued that she might be the only female alive who despises the…

Jerks of the Week for Sept. 7, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Forum Spammers I talked about spammers in another Jerks of the Week entry. I’ve discussed how stupid these spammers are and how easy it is to spot them. Getting more specific, I want to address three particular spammers I’ve banned recently….

Jerks of the Week for Aug. 10, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Jolly Ranchers When I was a kid, I used to always go to my grandparents’ house. My grandparents had a tin can full of Jolly Ranchers stashed in their closet. When they weren’t looking, I would raid the can and steal…

Jerks of the Week for July 13, 2009 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Jacko’s Ghost In case you’ve accidentally been swallowed by Sally Struthers or Rosie O’Donnell and haven’t heard the news lately, there has been speculation – mostly by idiots with no life – that Michael Jackson’s ghost is haunting his own house….