2010 Fantasy Football: ESPN's 2010 Fantasy Magazine Errors
Aug. 3, 2010.
Two years ago, I completely tore up 2008 Fantasy Football Magazine. There were 28 errors in total, as ESPN misspelled names, made factual mistakes and projected stats for players who were out for the year with torn ACLs.
The 2009 version of the mag was relatively clean, so I didn't think I'd find too many mistakes this year. Fortunately, I was able to locate nine errors and three very weird comments. This won't be anything like the 2008 debaclation - Emmitt, after all, is no longer employed by ESPN - but it should still be good for a few laughs.
ESPN Fantasy Football 2010 Magazine: Factual Errors and Omissions
As I wrote two years ago, I have to say that everyone, including myself, is guilty of being factually incorrect at times. No one is infallible. But ESPN is a multi-million dollar corporation, and I'm sure "The Mag" has dozens of editors and managing editors. There's no excuse for having anything wrong, especially...
1. Who the Heck is Austin Miles? (Page 19)
Did Miles Austin change his name to Austin Miles? If so, will I have to re-nickname him "Austin Miles-Jones?"
I actually mentioned this when I poked fun at ESPN's 2010 Fantasy Football Mock Draft. What's hilarious is that ESPN made this mistake twice on the same page. They listed "Austin Miles" in the mock list, and then the editor wrote, "I know it's only one year, but Austin Miles didn't start until Week 5..."
I can understand committing the error once, but seeing it twice makes me think that the editor of this section actually thought that Miles Austin's name was Austin Miles.
2. 10 + 1 = 1! (Page 48)
No, this equation was not taken from Prez's eighth-grade math class. It's straight from ESPN's 2010 fantasy mag.
Check out Le'Ron McClain's 2008 stats on Page 48. He scored 10 rushing touchdowns and one receiving touchdown, giving him a grand total of one touchdown! Man, anyone who had him two years ago was robbed of 10 scores.
Thanks to e-mailer Jody S. for pointing this one out.
3. Kellen Winslow's Magical Knee (Page 73)
From Kellen Winslow Jr.'s capsule:
"After logging 16 games, [Winslow] didn't need offseason knee surgery for the first time since he was a rookie."
An ideal defensive end in the 3-4 scheme is 6-4 or taller and weighs around 285-300. Elvis Dumervil, meanwhile, is a perfect fit as a rush linebacker at 5-11, 260. Why then, is he a defensive end according to ESPN?
"The new faces (Justin Bannan and Jarvis Green) join sack artist Elvis Dumervil at defensive end."
Good luck at going up against those 310-pound guards, Elvis.
5. Mistaken Scheme (Page 93)
"Here's a quick rundown: In the tackles category, look for a 4-3 middle linebacker like Patrick Willis or Jon Beason, or 3-4 "Mike" linebackers like Barrett Ruud."
Maybe if your rundown wasn't so quick, Mr. Christopher Harris, you'd remember that Willis plays in the 3-4 and Ruud is stationed in the 4-3.
6. Old Man Babineaux (Page 95)
Jonathan Babineaux is one of Atlanta's top defenders. He's an excellent defensive tackle, and at only 28 years old, he still has at least four more stellar seasons left in the tank.
Don't tell ESPN that. ESPN listed Babineaux as 34 years old. Quick, someone call a medical lab - Babineaux has aged six years in a matter of seconds!
7. Missing Persons Department: Ed Dickson and Dennis Pitta (Page 103)
What happened to Ed Dickson and Dennis Pitta? Apparently they've both disappeared.
According to ESPN's depth charts, the only tight ends on Baltimore's roster are Todd Heap and Davon Drew. No Dickson, no Pitta.
Before you suggest that ESPN isn't listing rookies, Buffalo's quarterback depth chart lists Levi Brown, so this obviously was an omission. That, or Dickson and Pitta are both dead. Might as well start checking the vacants in West Baltimore.
ESPN Fantasy Football 2010 Magazine: Poor Logic
Illogical statements are neither errors nor omissions, but they're still fun to point out. Unfortunately, ESPN only made two of these this year, compared to the 10 it committed in 2008.
1. No Tim Tebow (Page 34)
Regardless of whether or not you like Tim Tebow, you're probably aware that the Broncos plan on using Tim Tebow on a few trick plays, Wildcat formations and goal-line packages this season. ESPN, however, failed to project a single rushing yard or touchdown for Tebow.
So, Denver's first-round pick, the SEC's all-time touchdowns leader, isn't even going to step on the field once this year? Really?
2. Odd Scoring System (Page 67)
Why can't all fantasy leagues have the same scoring systems for regular, PPR and touchdown leagues? There should be a standard or something. That would make everything so much easier.
I can't figure this one out though. Check out these projected stats for the following two players:
Now, I'm not arguing those projected numbers. But given those stats, why in the world would ESPN rank Barden No. 94 and LaFell No. 95? Would any of you rather have a receiver who has eight catches and two touchdowns over one who has 30 catches and four scores? Anyone?
This is a huge problem with ESPN's fantasy rankings. More often than not, the projected stats don't correspond with the rankings. But I guess that's bound to happen when you absurdly rank 606 players, giving silly sleeper designations to bums like Seneca Wallace.
ESPN Fantasy Football 2010 Magazine: Commentary Fail
ESPN's 40-year-old writers and analysts are OK for TV, but the average fantasy football player is in their 20s. Thus, there's always going to be some very strange commentary in ESPN's fantasy publication. In 2008, they gave us "Sid Jurevicius" as Joe Jurevicius' nickname. This year, we have...
1. Liberty Bell Jokes (Page 46)
Forget "Why did the chicken cross the road?" or "Knock knock" jokes. Most standup comedians make their living by berating the Liberty Bell.
Don't believe me? Check out Page 46 of ESPN's 2010 fantasy mag, where they write under Mike Bell, "All Liberty Bell jokes aside, this new Eagle will back up starter LeSean McCoy..."
Liberty Bell jokes are the best. Here are some of my favorites:
1. Knock knock. Who's there? Liberty. Liberty who? Liberty Bell!
2. The Liberty Bell walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
3. Mike Bell, Tatum Bell and Liberty Bell were sitting on a branch. Then the branch broke because the Liberty Bell was too heavy. Fortunately, Tatum Bell survived and stole some things.
You seriously can't make this stuff up. Guys, next time you're trying to impress a hot chick, try some Liberty Bell jokes on her. Works like a charm.
2. "You Heard It Here First" (Page 46)
This sort of statement works if you're making some outlandish prediction. Like, "The Detroit Lions will make the playoffs this year. You heard it here first." That makes sense.
ESPN doesn't realize this. Here's what they wrote under Arian Foster:
"You heard it here first: [Ben] Tate wins [the job] and Foster goes back down."
Wow, so Ben Tate's going to win the starting job in Houston? Way to go out on a limb, ESPN. No one in the world is projecting that!
In all seriousness, Michael Lombardi said that Tate would win Offensive Rookie of the Year the day after the 2010 NFL Draft. So, we heard it from him first, ESPN. Not you.
3. Goethe (Page 56)
I mentioned earlier that most of ESPN's stooges are around 40 years old. Make that 240 years old. Check out the following under Brandon Marshall:
"Marshall has so much Sturm und Drang swirling around him, we'd swear he's a character dreamed up by Goethe."
Call me uneducated - I barely know any state capitals - but I had no idea who this Goethe character was, let alone what or who Sturm and Drang were. My guess on Sturm and Drang? Axel Foley's police pals in Beverly Hills Cop. Am I close?
As for Goethe, I had no clue. I thought they might have meant former South Florida quarterback Matt Grothe, but I had my doubts. I Googled "Goethe" and learned that he was some German writer back in the late 1700s and early 1800s.
Now, how many 20 to 29-year-olds know that? Not many, I'm willing to bet. So, why put that in there?
This is a great example of what I'm talking about, and why I love to rag on ESPN. ESPN just doesn't understand its audience and does its best to alienate its viewers/readers. Why make people pay a second mortgage for worthless Insider articles? Why hire worthless analysts who have absolutely no clue? Why ruin/cancel its best show, NFL Primetime?
Until ESPN fixes things, I'll continue to make fun of whatever I can. Next up: Emmitt's Hall of Fame induction speech!