2009 Fantasy Football Draft: WF.com Forum Fantasy Draft

Missing Include

Aug. 26, 2009.

This is a real Fantasy Football Draft I (sort of) participated in on Tuesday, Aug. 25. This league starts two running backs and three receivers. It's a traditional league except quarterbacks get six points for touchdowns.

All of the teams in this league are members of the forum. Entry fee is $25. If I don't finish in the money, my bank account will be debacled.

Also, be sure to check out my other 2009 Fantasy Football articles, which will include rankings, sleepers, busts, cheat sheets and other things.


(1) Go Tuck Yourself - Adrian Peterson RB
(2) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Matt Forte RB
(3) Joey Harrington - Maurice Jones-Drew RB
(4) Your Mom - LaDainian Tomlinson RB
(5) The Real Rhymemaster - Michael Turner RB
(6) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Steve Slaton RB
(7) E. Kac Wolley - Chris Johnson RB
(8) The Debacled One - DeAngelo Williams RB (Computer Pick)
(9) Ocho-Guapo - Steven Jackson RB
(10) The Scorgasms - Tom Brady QB
(11) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Clinton Portis RB
(12) Off Constantly - Frank Gore RB

ANALYSIS: I'm in two WalterFootball.com forum fantasy leagues this year - this one and a PPR league hosted by Wraith. This was scheduled for 7 p.m. Tuesday night, while the other league was supposed to be at 8.

I didn't want my two leagues overlapping, so I asked Wraith move his to Wednesday. Of course in doing so, I got the times confused.

I came home from the gym at 7:30. I planned to shower off and get into the draft room around 7:45-7:50, which would give me enough time to print out my cheat sheet and set up this page so I could enter in the picks.

However, when I signed on at 7:30, I was shocked to see that we were in the fifth round. I screwed up the time, and in turn, NFL.com's crappy fantasy rankings essentially screwed me out of $25.

MY PICK: I can live with DeAngelo Williams. In fact, that's probably whom I would have taken. No rants for now.

BEST PICK: I don't think I can single out anything as a best pick here. It's worth noting, however, that Matt McGuire (The Scorgasms) wanted to trade up from No. 10 to No. 8, and was willing to offer me a 10th-round pick to do so. The compensation was so low because he said that I'd be targeting LaDainian Tomlinson, and that Tomlinson would be available at No. 10. I told Matt he was on crack.

Nice job, Your Mom. You not only took a Hall of Fame running back with a chip on his shoulder, but you also proved Matt wrong for me. High five!

WORST PICK: Tom Brady in the first round? Newsflash: This is not 2008. I know this league counts six points for passing touchdowns, but that doesn't mean that Brady is the only quarterback to whom this applies to. If Matt really wanted Brady, he could have taken him at 2.03.

WORST PICK NO. 2: Ugh. Frank Gore? I didn't even like him before Glen Coffee's epic performance last weekend. And what kind of team name is Off Constantly anyway? For that, I'm going to beat Off Constantly this season. I'm going to beat Off Constantly hard. In fact, I'm going to beat Off Constantly so hard that when the neighbors' kids see me beating Off Constantly, they won't ever be able to get that picture out of their head.


(1) Off Constantly - Andre Johnson WR
(2) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Randy Moss WR
(3) The Scorgasms - Pierre Thomas RB
(4) Ocho-Guapo - Brandon Jacobs RB
(5) The Debacled One - Larry Fitzgerald WR (Computer Pick)
(6) E. Kac Wolley - Calvin Johnson WR
(7) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Kevin Smith RB
(8) The Real Rhymemaster - Drew Brees QB
(9) Your Mom - Reggie Wayne WR
(10) Joey Harrington - Marion Barber RB
(11) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Peyton Manning QB
(12) Go Tuck Yourself - Brian Westbrook RB

MY PICK: Again, I probably would have gone with Larry Fitzgerald or Calvin Johnson. No complaints... yet.

BEST PICK: A couple of sketchy picks late in Round 1 allowed Calvin Johnson to fall to 2.06.

WORST PICK: I love Pierre Thomas, but Sean Payton scares me. He is known for playing games with his running backs, so there's always a chance he could bring back Deuce McAllister or Shaun Alexander to play in front of Thomas. Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't want to gamble on Frenchie in the second round.


(1) Go Tuck Yourself - Greg Jennings WR
(2) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Ryan Grant RB
(3) Joey Harrington - Philip Rivers QB
(4) Your Mom - Aaron Rodgers QB
(5) The Real Rhymemaster - Marques Colston WR
(6) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Roddy White WR
(7) E. Kac Wolley - Knowshon Moreno RB
(8) The Debacled One - Anquan Boldin WR (Computer Pick)
(9) Ocho-Guapo - Steve Smith WR
(10) The Scorgasms - Dwayne Bowe WR
(11) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Ronnie Brown RB
(12) Off Constantly - Ray Rice RB

MY PICK: OK, now we're starting to get sucky picks from the computer. I don't mind Anquan Boldin too much, but A) it's a bit too early for him and B) I don't want two receivers starting on my team from the same NFL squad. You'd think that Roger Goodell would spend some of the NFL's billion dollars to construct a fantasy draft algorithm to prevent something like this from happening. Then again, Goodell is allowing a sick bastard to play in this league, so I can't say I'm shocked or anything.

BEST PICK: Aaron Rodgers could emerge as the top fantasy quarterback this year. I also obviously like the Knowshon Moreno selection.

WORST PICK: Not much to pick apart here, but Philip Rivers at 3.03 sounds ridiculously early, doesn't it?


(1) Off Constantly - Wes Welker WR
(2) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Terrell Owens WR
(3) The Scorgasms - Derrick Ward RB
(4) Ocho-Guapo - Chad Ochocinco WR
(5) The Debacled One - Kurt Warner QB (Computer Pick)
(6) E. Kac Wolley - T.J. Houshmandzadeh WR
(7) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Roy Williams WR
(8) The Real Rhymemaster - Jason Witten TE
(9) Your Mom - Darren McFadden RB
(10) Joey Harrington - Braylon Edwards WR
(11) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Vincent Jackson WR
(12) Go Tuck Yourself - Santonio Holmes WR

MY PICK: Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't touch a 38-year-old coming off hip surgery until Round 9, let alone Round 4. I now have three Arizona Cardinals on my roster. I'm not a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I'm beginning to think that the NFL.com fantasy computer is a scorned Cardinals fan who is mad at me for picking Seattle to win the NFC West.

BEST PICK: Of all the receivers taken in this round, I like Chad Ochocinco the most. Somewhere in Bristol, Keyshawn is looking at this and laughing to himself, "Ha! Ocho Guapo took Ochocinco instead of Ocho Dos!"

WORST PICK: A 38-year-old coming off hip surgery... Should I burn my $25 now, or save it as emergency toilet paper?


(1) Go Tuck Yourself - Reggie Bush RB
(2) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Tony Gonzalez TE
(3) Joey Harrington - Antonio Bryant WR
(4) Your Mom - Donald Brown RB
(5) The Real Rhymemaster - Brandon Marshall WR
(6) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Tony Romo QB
(7) E. Kac Wolley - Anthony Gonzalez WR
(8) The Debacled One - Larry Johnson RB (Computer Pick)
(9) Ocho-Guapo - Antonio Gates TE
(10) The Scorgasms - Ahmad Bradshaw RB
(11) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Donovan McNabb QB
(12) Off Constantly - Jerricho Cotchery WR

MY PICK: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, here's what happened. I logged on when I was on deck. I looked at my team, and other than Kurt Warner, I wasn't too upset about it. I was then notified that I was on the clock. I looked through the top running backs available and found Cedric Benson. I clicked on his name, but nothing happened. Forty seconds left. I looked for a "Draft" button, couldn't find one. Thirty seconds left. I tried dragging his name to the queue, but it wouldn't work. Twenty seconds. I tried dragging his name a few more times. Ten seconds. I panicked. Eight seconds. I posted, "I can't draft my guy!" Five seconds. People laughed. Two seconds. I clicked Benson's name.

Time's up. The computer has selected Larry Johnson!

It turns out that I did two thiings wrong in the overly complicated NFL.com interface. First, I was still on "Autodraft" even though I still logged in. That's ridiculous. Second, to drag a player to the queue, you need to drag any part of their stat line, EXCEPT FOR THEIR NAME BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T WORK!!! What the hell is that all about? Seriously, whoever made this interface needs to be drowned in a pool by QB Dog Killer.

BEST PICK: Too pissed off.



(1) Off Constantly - Greg Olsen TE
(2) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - DeSean Jackson WR
(3) The Scorgasms - Dallas Clark TE
(4) Ocho-Guapo - Matt Schaub QB
(5) The Debacled One - Cedric Benson RB
(6) E. Kac Wolley - Matt Ryan QB
(7) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Eddie Royal WR
(8) The Real Rhymemaster - Marshawn Lynch RB
(9) Your Mom - Laveranues Coles WR
(10) Joey Harrington - Derrick Mason WR
(11) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Lee Evans WR
(12) Go Tuck Yourself - Jay Cutler QB

MY PICK: Despite everything, I was still able to get Cedric Benson. Trying to calm down. Think of the ocean, the sand, Tim Tebow's girlfriend's boobies...

BEST PICK: I put Derrick Mason and Eddie Royal into my queue after the Benson pick, and they were taken off the board instantly.

WORST PICK: The Real Rhymemaster will see my Larry Johnson and raise me a Marshawn Lynch. Apparently, he was screwed by the Autodraft thing as well.


(1) Go Tuck Yourself - Felix Jones RB
(2) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Santana Moss WR
(3) Joey Harrington - Chris Wells RB
(4) Your Mom - Thomas Jones RB
(5) The Real Rhymemaster - Willie Parker RB
(6) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Jonathan Stewart RB
(7) E. Kac Wolley - Joseph Addai RB
(8) The Debacled One - Leon Washington RB
(9) Ocho-Guapo - Bernard Berrian WR
(10) The Scorgasms - LeSean McCoy RB
(11) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Kevin Walter WR
(12) Off Constantly - Earnest Graham RB

MY PICK: This was the first pick that everyone praised. The sad thing is, my Round 7 pick will probably start over my Round 5 pick, but only if my Round 6 pick gets hurt. Man, I'm screwed.

BEST PICK: Donald Brown will probably end up starting in Indianapolis, but the seventh round is a really good place to land Joseph Addai. I probably would have taken him if he made it down to me.

WORST PICK: The Real Rhymemaster is going all in with Willie Parker. The autodraft continued to debacle him.


(1) Off Constantly - Matt Hasselbeck QB
(2) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Jeremy Shockey TE
(3) The Scorgasms - Hines Ward WR
(4) Ocho-Guapo - LenDale White RB
(5) The Debacled One - Carson Palmer QB
(6) E. Kac Wolley - Josh Morgan WR
(7) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Chris Cooley TE
(8) The Real Rhymemaster - Donald Driver WR
(9) Your Mom - Devin Hester WR
(10) Joey Harrington - Kellen Winslow Jr. TE
(11) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Jamal Lewis RB
(12) Go Tuck Yourself - Torry Holt WR

MY PICK: When Kurt Warner goes down with an injury in Week 5, I'll need a quarterback to take his place. A great backup was very much needed.

BEST PICK: I'm not a fan of taking tight ends not named Jason Witten or Antonio Gates early, but Round 8 is as good a place as any to get a solid guy like Chris Cooley.

WORST PICK: I hope the Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet also gets Jamal Lewis' walker as a bonus for taking Lewis.


(1) Go Tuck Yourself - Eli Manning QB
(2) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Glen Coffee RB
(3) Joey Harrington - Steve Breaston WR
(4) Your Mom - Kenny Britt WR
(5) The Real Rhymemaster - Steelers Defense
(6) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Donnie Avery WR
(7) E. Kac Wolley - Kevin Boss TE
(8) The Debacled One - Chris Henry WR
(9) Ocho-Guapo - Darren Sproles WR
(10) The Scorgasms - Trent Edwards QB
(11) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Willis McGahee RB
(12) Off Constantly - Chris Chambers WR

MY PICK: Chris Henry looks amazing this preseason. By the way, this gives me three Cardinals and three Bengals on my fantasy roster. At least I know I'll lead this fantasy league in players arrested.

BEST PICK: I nearly debacled my laptop when B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim took Donnie Avery. I wanted Avery. B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim is having a great draft. If she doesn't collect any money in the rape trial, at least she'll be able to win some cash in this league.

WORST PICK: I'm not sure if Matt's aware of this, but we aren't awarded 10 points for each fumble and interception our quarterback has. Just a friendly warning.


(1) Off Constantly - Giants Defense
(2) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Michael Bush RB
(3) The Scorgasms - James Davis RB
(4) Ocho-Guapo - Nate Washington WR
(5) The Debacled One - Lance Moore WR
(6) E. Kac Wolley - Shonn Greene RB
(7) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Rashard Mendenhall RB
(8) The Real Rhymemaster - Chester Taylor RB
(9) Your Mom - Hakeem Nicks WR
(10) Joey Harrington - Ted Ginn Jr. WR
(11) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Ben Roethlisberger QB
(12) Go Tuck Yourself - Dustin Keller TE

MY PICK: Lance Moore is my top backup receiver, and this is not a PPR league. Yeah, this isn't going to end well.

BEST PICK: I like Matt's pick of James Davis. Davis has a ton of upside and will probably start in Cleveland. Well, actually, being on the Browns doesn't give you any upside, but holding a starting position is nice.

WORST PICK: I also think Michael Bush has a lot of upside, but this seems like a bit too early for him. But this wasn't a terrible pick or anything; I couldn't find anything really bad in this round.


(1) Go Tuck Yourself - Domenik Hixon WR
(2) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Earl Bennett WR
(3) Joey Harrington - Vikings Defense
(4) Your Mom - Ravens Defense
(5) The Real Rhymemaster - John Carlson TE
(6) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Percy Harvin WR
(7) E. Kac Wolley - Shaun Hill QB
(8) The Debacled One - Laurent Robinson WR
(9) Ocho-Guapo - Steve Smith WR
(10) The Scorgasms - Miles Austin WR
(11) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Eagles Defense
(12) Off Constantly - Brett Favre QB

MY PICK: Given that Chris Henry and the injury-prone Anquan Boldin are two of my starting receivers, something tells me I'm going to need depth at the position.

BEST PICK: Earl Bennett was a guy I was targeting before he was taken off the board. It wouldn't shock me if he has a big year.

WORST PICK: Brett Favre? Off Constantly justified it by saying that Favre has the Rams during Aaron Rodgers' bye. Still, if Rodgers gets hurt, Off Constantly won't win many games with Favre. Off Constantly will be beaten often. In fact, you could say Off Constantly beat Off Constantly with this selection, and during the regular season, Brett Favre will beat Off Constantly with his interceptions into triple coverage.


(1) Off Constantly - Isaac Bruce WR
(2) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Ricky Williams RB
(3) The Scorgasms - Jordy Nelson WR
(4) Ocho-Guapo - Titans Defense
(5) The Debacled One - Chargers Defense
(6) E. Kac Wolley - Kevin Curtis WR
(7) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Jets Defense
(8) The Real Rhymemaster - Nate Burleson WR
(9) Your Mom - Jerious Norwood RB
(10) Joey Harrington - Jamaal Charles RB
(11) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Stephen Gostkowski K
(12) Go Tuck Yourself - Mark Clayton WR

MY PICK: The Chargers have six games against the crappy AFC West, a division comprised of three of the worst teams in the league. The rest of my team may suck, so hopefully San Diego carries me to victory. Go Chhaaajjjaaazzzz Goooo!!!!

BEST PICK: I love upside picks this late: Jerious Norwood and Jamaal Charles both fit that category.

WORST PICK: Go Tuck Yourself was the latest person to get debacled by the Autopick function. The damn Autopick function can burn in hell as far as I'm concerned.


(1) Go Tuck Yourself - Redskins Defense
(2) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Patriots Defense
(3) Joey Harrington - Joe Flacco QB
(4) Your Mom - Visanthe Shiancoe TE
(5) The Real Rhymemaster - Mason Crosby K
(6) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - David Garrard QB
(7) E. Kac Wolley - Bears Defense
(8) The Debacled One - Owen Daniels TE
(9) Ocho-Guapo - Matt Cassel QB
(10) The Scorgasms - Packers Defense
(11) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Sidney Rice WR
(12) Off Constantly - Tashard Choice RB

MY PICK: My starting tight end in the penultimate round. And if Owen Daniels doesn't work out for me, I can just pick up Zach Miller.

BEST PICK: David Garrard is one of the top backup quarterbacks in 12-man fantasy leagues, so getting him here was a steal. Also, you have to love the prospect of the Patriots defense beating up on Mark Sanchez and Trent Edwards twice each this year.

WORST PICK: Nothing really sticks out, but you know what's funny? If someone drafted Larry Johnson here, I'd probably consider that the worst pick of this round. Damn you to hell, NFL.com Fantasy Computer!


(1) Off Constantly - David Akers K
(2) Haloti Ngata Has A Posse - Rob Bironas K
(3) The Scorgasms - Shayne Graham K
(4) Ocho-Guapo - Jason Elam K
(5) The Debacled One - Kris Brown K
(6) E. Kac Wolley - Neil Rackers K
(7) B Roethlisberger's Rape Victim - Nick Folk K
(8) The Real Rhymemaster - Jake Delhomme QB
(9) Your Mom - Ryan Longwell K
(10) Joey Harrington - Nate Kaeding K
(11) Leaf-Proof Medicine Cabinet - Michael Crabtree WR
(12) Go Tuck Yourself - Adam Vinatieri K

MY PICK: I'd love to play in a league that starts two quarterbacks, four running backs, six receivers, two tight ends, two defenses and ZERO kickers. That would be awesome - and I still doubt Larry Johnson would make anyone's team.

BEST PICK: Credit Your Mom for trying to get out of this fantasy draft without taking a kicker. A true fantasy football visionary.

WORST PICK: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, we have two players who are worse than Larry Johnson. Give Jake Delhomme and Michael Crabtree a hand, everybody!

Missing Include

2018 NFL Mock Draft - April 23

2019 NFL Mock Draft - April 6

NFL Picks - Feb. 4

2020 NFL Mock Draft - Jan. 22

NFL Power Rankings - Jan. 15

Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6

2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23



© 1999-2018 Walter Cherepinsky : all rights reserved
Privacy Policy
2 5 9 df

WalterFootball.com is part of the NESN digital network.



WalterFootball.com Now on Twitter:

WalterFootball.com Twitter

Subscribe to the WalterFootball.com RSS Feed:

Walterfootball.com RSS Feed

Support Walt's Other Site:

Sales Tips and Sales Advice - Tons of sales tips, sales techniques and sales advice, including a Sales Mock Draft: The 32 Worst Things You Can Do in Sales.