My Thoughts During the 2012 Hall of Fame Game Live Blog - Live Updates
What is this? I'll be posting my thoughts during the Cardinals-Saints game here. That will include everything from the actual game, to the TV personalities, to the commercials, etc. Anything goes. I might even have some special guests. This page will be updated every five minutes or so Sunday evening, so I hope you join me for the first NFL game in six months. Football's back.
3:45: I'll be on right before the game to start this off!
7:52: I'm on. I just ate an epic dinner. More on that later, but I need to discuss Drew Brees and his assertion that Roger Goodell is lying. I hate to break it to him, but Gregg Williams admitted to Bountygate. He said he did it. So Goodell doesn't exactly need proof, bud.
7:54: OK, I piled up leftover macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, meatballs and pulled pork onto one giant plate and ate all of it at the same time. If I stop writing this live blog at some point, I either went to the bathroom or suffered a heart attack.
7:55: According to Deion Sanders, Sean Payton is Drew Brees' "confident."
7:59: NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE NFL PLAY 60 COMMERCIALS WITH THE SONG WHERE KIDS ARE SCREAMING AND YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
8:00: This fat a**hole who stole his kid's KFC is my hero.
8:01: What the hell is NFL AM? Does anyone watch it?
8:02: I said this in the forum, but the Olympics will be the Jerk of the Year. This game should be on NBC. A preseason football game is much more important than the stupid Olympics.
8:03: Wait, I thought kickoff was at 8 p.m. A game's not starting on time? What the hell?
8:04: The only serious penalty for the Saints, aside from the loss of draft picks, is Sean Payton's suspension. No one cares if Jonathan Vilma is gone. He's been terrible the past two years.
8:07: Kevin Kolb sucks. He better not be the starting quarterback. John Skelton has the better skills and... whoa, hot chick on the TV.
8:08: NFL Network needs more Stacey Dales. But anyway, Skelton is the better scrambler and he's more durable. Kolb blows.
8:09: Kickoff time! Saints to the 23.
8:10: Pierre Thomas, fantasy stock up.
8:11: Where's Mark Ingram? Joe Vitt must be keeping him healthy because he drafted Ingram in his fantasy league.
8:13: Who the hell is Joseph Morgan? Why are the Saints playing their scrubs on the opening drive?
8:14: I can hear people downstairs. We've been having True Blood parties on Sunday nights all summer - not that there's anything wrong with that - so that's apparently continuing without me. It's nice to know that my friends are using me for my 54-inch LED TV. I like being used.
8:15: What the hell does Mickey Loomis being suspended do? They should have just fined him. I don't see what a suspension accomplishes. Seems like overkill on Goodell's part.
8:16: There's Mark Ingram! I guess Vitt doesn't have him on his fantasy team, but that might mean that he's worth drafting. Saints down to the 1.
8:17: Touchdown, Saints! Ingram with a 1-yard run.
New Orleans 7, Arizona 0.
8:18: Fire Sean Payton. The Saints have proven that they can win with Joe Vitt as their coach.
8:19: Paris Lenon is hurt, but he sucks anyway. Nothing to worry about, Cardinal fans.
8:20: Curtis Martin in the Hall of Fame? Meh.
8:23: Kevin Kolb interception! He sucks! Cut him already.
8:24: My dog is here and he just tried eating my eraser. What goes through dogs' minds when they do these things? "NOM NOM NOM ERASER LOOKS TASTY NOM NOM NOM." Doesn't make much sense.
8:25: What the hell? I went to NFL.com's GameCenter, and all I see is a Facebook chat app. Where are the normal posts?
8:26: All turnovers this year are reviewed? Dumb. I blame stupid NFL coaches for being embarrassed because they can't use the replay system correctly.
8:27: Chase Daniel sacked on third down. I guess he won't be challenging Drew Brees for the starting job anytime soon.
8:28: Here comes Kevin Kolb again to throw another interception.
8:31: If Kolb were making what John Skelton is currently earning, he wouldn't even be considered for the starting job. Just sayin.
8:34: These replacement refs missed that safety, but I have no confidence that the real refs would have called it. All refs suck. Calls should be made by robots.
8:37: There's some great quarterbacking in this game. I hope we see Kolb again so we can laugh at him some more.
8:39: There's some talk in the thread about who is better between Kolb and Gabbert. I'd say Kolb because he at least keeps his eyes open when he throws.
8:40: Kolb hurt. It was bound to happen anyway.
8:41: Rejoice, Cardinal fans! It's time for your best quarterback to actually play.
8:42: DenverTyrant in the forum: "Lololol Kolb already hurt lololol." I almost typed this myself.
8:43: Saints pinned at the 1! Here comes a Chase Daniel safety.
8:44: Ugh, this ref doesn't know which direction to point. Can we get the real officials back, please?
8:45: Great throw by Chase Daniel. Perhaps the Cardinals can trade Kolb to the Saints for Daniel.
8:47: I don't believe that Joseph Morgan went to Walsh University. Sounds fake. It's like when Eric Matthews on Boy Meets World claimed he was accepted to Boris College. Boris College sounds more real than Walsh University.
8:49: I like what forum member GongKong is thinking: "Chase Daniel the new too short QB to be traded for a 2nd round pick to some sad sack team that is desperate and in need of anyone but whom they have on roster. Chase Daniel, welcome to AZ (lol)."
8:50: Stacey Dales! She's saying such interesting things. She needs to be on TV more.
8:51: Stacey Dales is reporting that Kolb is in the locker room getting x-rays on his bruised vag.
8:52: Arizona's first first down via a pass! Huzzah!
8:53: The Cardinals' offense looks explosive right now.
8:54: I hate when the NFL Network covers a game because their commercials are always so crappy. They can't get many advertisers, so they replay the same ones over and over again, and they usually have dumb PSAs like that one just now where the guy was saying he needed to get help for his addiction to pain killers.
8:56: Andre Roberts has four targets so far. PPR machine.
8:57: You can't stop this Arizona offense when Skelton is passing and that Smith guy is running and Roberts is catching.
8:59: New forum member redbanetruck: "i hope kolb is out for season."
Unlikely. Bruised vages keep players out just 4-6 weeks.
9:00: Go for it!
9:02: Touchdown, Cardinals! Alfonso Smith with a 4-yard run.
Saints 7, Cardinals 7
9:04: Body Burner is here, so hopefully he'll have some interesting things to say.
9:06: Body Burner and I are discussing how the hell Curtis Martin made it to the Hall of Fame before Cris Carter. It makes no sense.
9:09: Ugh, if only Arizona's defense was as good as its offense. The snap got screwed up, yet the Saints still converted 3rd-and-6.
9:11: Proposed trade: Saints trade QB Chase Daniel to Cardinals for QB Kevin Kolb and a 2nd-round pick. Who says no to that?
9:12: Body Burner left me to watch True Blood. My feelings are hurt. Field goal, Saints.
Saints 10, Cardinals 7
9:15: I hope Skelton keeps playing. Ken Whisenhunt needs to see how much better he is than Kolb.
9:16: Ugh. Commercial-kickoff-commercial - and it's NFL Network, so the commercials are repetitive. Shoot me now.
9:18: Richard Bartel? Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
9:19: This game is essentially over, so the guys in the thread are discussing which Final Fantasys were the best. I say 4, 6, 7 and 10.
9:20: Michael Floyd with his first NFL (preseason) reception! Can you imagine if Floyd plays with Skelton and Smith and Roberts? Unstoppable.
9:24: Back-to-school-sale commercials. Thank God I'm out of school; otherwise, I'd be so depressed right now.
9:25: I hate these damn Capital One baby commercials. Babies are such cheap gimmicks.
9:28: Skelton is being interviewed. I wonder how that's going...
Reporter: Hey John, did you know you're 6-6?
Reporter: Hey John, did you see how much better you were than Kevin Kolb?
Skelton: Well, everyone saw that last year, so I don't know why I was in a competition with him.
Reporter: Hey John, do you know if Kevin is OK?
Skelton: No. He's not. He has a bruised vag and is out for 4-6 weeks.
Reporter: Does that mean you'll be starting Week 1?
Skelton: Yes, but I would have started anyway because that chicken-s**t Kolb blows, and I'm actually not scared to get hit.
9:30: I get the feeling that this performance will make a stupid NFL general manager spend a second-round pick on Chase Daniel. Nice job by the Saints making him look good.
9:31: Touchdown Saints! Daniel to some guy named Cadet.
Saints 17, Cardinals 7
9:33: Dolphins-Bills. Thursday Night Football. Can't wait.
9:34: Don't run it! Throw a Hail Mary!
9:35: It's halftime. I can't imagine the Cardinals winning this game. Chase Daniel is looking unstoppable and he needs to be traded for immediately.
9:37: Over-under on analysts who call Chase Daniel "Chase Daniels:" 2.5. Marshall Faulk already did it.
9:38: I feel really bad for Andy Reid. Just horrible. It's such a shame that his kids would throw their life away because of drugs.
9:42: Ugh. Not under PSA. "No one should ever hit a woman." What if a woman has a sword and is trying to stab you? What if one has a gun and wants to shoot you? What if one breaks into your house to steal your Oreos and Cheetos? We can't hit them? Come on guys, there is no clear-cut rule for this.
9:45: Oh goodie, here's a commercial where Joe Theismann is talking about his urination. Awesome.
9:52: Warren Sapp's voice is a bit softer in that commercial than usual. I hope he's OK medically.
9:53: Chase Daniel's yardage numbers keep soaring. This guy will net a first-round pick from a stupid team before long.
9:55: Chase Daniel is 14-of-18, 171 yards and a touchdown. Pro Bowl potential. Mike Holmgren, are you seeing this?
9:56: Make that 15-of-19 for 203. Wowzers.
9:57: Charles Brown owned by some guy named Carter.
9:58: Chase Daniel picked by Blake Gideon! Goodbye first-round pick. Joe Vitt overplayed his hand.
10:04: Body Burner came back to the office. "I have no idea what the hell is going on in True Blood." I don't think anyone knows, and I've watched every single episode. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
10:06: Sean Canfield under center. If he never becomes the starter, he should legally change his name to Can'tfield. If he can't make it, he might as well make fun of himself so no one else can't.
10:08: Awesome Girl Who Loves Football is at dinner. I asked her if they had the game on TV there, and she said, "I wish I could be watching the game but guess what they have on TV here? Olympic beach volleyball... so stupid." Once again, the Olympics will be the Jerk of the Year.
10:10: We need more Stacey Dales interviews.
10:12: Ooooh, Ryan Lindley, I want to see what he has. Nice to have another reason to watch this game.
10:16: Field goal, Cardinals.
Saints 17, Cardinals 10
10:21: There are about half a dozen people in my house, and everyone except me is paying more attention to the dog than this game. I don't get that? Don't they understand how exciting Sean Canfield and Ryan Lindley are?
10:23: Intentional grounding? It might have been called if we had real refs.
10:24: And that's why Lindley was a sixth-round pick.
10:25: To settle an argument in the thread, Drew Brees would be a Hall of Famer if he retired at this instant. There's no doubt about that.
10:29: Redbanetruck in the forum: "randall cobb touchdown!!!!" Man, I wish I could watch the game he has on TV.
10:32: Great catch by Larry Parker. I don't care if the ball hit the ground; that was pretty awesome.
10:36: Body Burner just came back: "You should just say the rest of this game is meaningless." It is meaningless. Which makes me wonder why they're challenging this interception. Just let it stand. It was an incredible catch.
10:42: I think I speak for everyone when I say we need Stacey Dales to interview more illiterate players. Dermontti Dawson was too well-spoken.
10:44: Lindley has shown me nothing. The Cardinals should throw him into a trade with Kolb for Daniel.
10:46: NFL AM is four hours long? Has anyone even watched that, let alone for four straight hours? If so, why?
10:48: No way can the Titans go with Matt Hasselbeck. Jake Locker was the better quarterback last year. He should have started at the end of his rookie season. Hasselbeck is old and mediocre.
10:49: Oh, Quentin Groves, if only you could be unblocked on every play.
10:50: A receiver in the area? You mean area code? How was there a receiver in the area? This bogus ref has missed two intentional groundings and a safety.
10:51: Challenge, Whisenhunt! Challenge!
10:52: We know it's 3rd-and-12, bogus ref! Are you not watching the TV? What are you doing?
10:54: Field goal blocked! Cardinals can still win it!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:56: Did anyone see that quick picture of Tom Brady? I have an important announcement about Brady. I'm going to start a segment called the Adventures of Tom Brady's Haircuts, starting in Week 1.
10:58: Mike Mayock is singing Play That Funky Music. Can we go back to the offseason please?
11:02: Forum member RoyMustang is complaining about how this game is not on his local TV because he doesn't have NFL Network. I never understood why everyone doesn't have NFL Network. It should be like ESPN. Everyone has ESPN, so why can't everyone have NFL Network?
11:03: Ugh, enough with these reviews. It's the freaking preseason. Just stop it.
11:06: Intentional grounding! Come on, call it!
11:08: Holy crap, the refs got it right. Intentional grounding and roughing the passer. Good job by the official, though he needs to work on his announcement. He doesn't seem to be too sure of himself.
11:09: Lindley to Byrd can't be stopped right now. It's going to be 18-17 before long.
11:10: Cardinals inside the 10! Here we go!
11:13: Lindley missed a wide-open receiver for the go-ahead touchdown. No excuse for not making that throw.
11:14: And there's the game-clincher. Interception because Lindley stared his receiver down. Looks like a wasted draft pick.
11:15: Ugh, by the way, shame on Brad Nessler for joking about overtime. There's no way in hell the Cardinals would have kicked the extra point. Ninety-nine percent of the people watching this knew they would have gone for two.
11:18: That hit on Kolb didn't even look too bad. That guy gets hurt too easily. He can't be Arizona's starter.
11:20: There's Brady's haircut! The Adventures of Tom Brady's Haircuts coming in September!
11:24: Game over. Finally. The two biggest take-aways from this game were Kevin Kolb's ineptness (and injury) and Drew Brees' incredible drive. Brees was going against a vanilla Arizona defense, but he looked really sharp.
If my Colts draft anyone besides Dalvin Cook 1st Round I might personally fly down to Indianapolis and tear Ryan Grigson's balls off outside that this may be the best mock i've seen yet and I completely agree with the Garopolo trade