My Thoughts During the 2009 Hall of Fame Game - Live Updates
What is this? I'll be posting my thoughts during the 2009 Hall of Fame Game here. That will include everything from the actual game, to the TV personalities, to the commercials, etc. Anything goes. Emmitt Smith will even join me as a special guest! This page will be updated every five minutes or so, so I hope you join me for the first NFL game in six months!
1:45: Coverage will begin during the pre-game show or after I get home from dinner (maybe around 7 p.m.) Hopefully I'll see you then.
7:58: I said I'd start running my live blog during the pre-game show, but as far as I can tell, there is no pre-game show. Shame on NBC, ESPN and the NFL Network. So, let's create our own pre-game show here...
OK guys, Bills-Titans. What's one thing to watch for in this game?
EMMITT: Obviously, the Buffalo Bill and the Tennessee Titans are two team in the National Football Conference League. Tennessee have a quarterback name Vince Young, who say he will be the next black quarterback to win the Super Bowl games. These, in my opinion, are racist statements. If Vince uhh... Vince win the Super Bowl and he is black, he will obviously become the next black quarterback to win the Super Bowl games. But if Vince Young is not black and he win the Super Bowls, he will be the next white quarterback to win the Super Championship. These do not make sentences.
BOOMER ESIASON: If Vince Young wants to be a winner, he'll practice hard and watch film instead of make incoherent statements like that one. If he wins the Super Bowl, I'll give him all the credit. If not, I'll consider him as much of a loser as Dan Marino. God, Dan Marino sucks, I can't believe he's here.
DAN MARINO: I like Vince Young. Vince Young is a good quarterback. Kerry Collins is good too. Both should have a chance to be the starter because the Titans are good. I like Jeff Fisher too. Jeff Fisher is a good coach.
ESIASON: You suck, Marino!
EMMITT: Let us not forgive the Buffalo Bill. The Buffalo Bill sign Terrible Owens, who have debacled the Cowboys in the locker room a month ago, or a year ago to be more precise. The fan of the Buffalo Bill better not hope that Owens ruin the chemicals on the Bill, or there will be a li-bit devastation in the state of Buffalo.
7:59: It's 7:59, and Dateline NBC is still on. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Come on, football's starting!
8:02: Can't wait until Emmitt is inducted into the Hall of Fame. He won't screw up his induction speech, but when he's being interviewed on the sidelines of the Hall of Fame Game, rest assured that he will debacle a word or two.
8:04: Still can't believe John Madden retired. I was hoping he'd come into the booth for a bit.
8:08: Whoa, who threw up on the officials' uniforms?
8:10: We're underway. Can you feel the excitement?
8:11: Is it just me, or did Dick Jauron look like he was thinking, "Ah crap, my team sucks. I knew this all along, but now everyone's about to find out."
8:12: Why in the world is Chris Johnson playing? Throw LenDale White a bone (preferably with a lot of meat on it to appease him.)
8:13: Why does Alge Crumpler look like he's 300 pounds?
8:14: Crumpler: "NOM NOM NOM, COACH PROMISE ME FOOD IF I HAVE GOOD GAME."
8:15: Paul Posluszny almost picks off a pass. I'm ashamed to be a Penn State alumnus.
8:16: Titans stall at midfield.
8:17: No, wait, Titans call a fake punt and score a touchdown! What a great idea saving this play for a regular-season game!
Titans 7, Bills 0
8:19: Five Dollar Footlong. Three heterosexually challenged men.
8:20: So, a Nittany Lion drops a potential interception, only to have a Buckeye score a touchdown. I feel sick.
8:21: Owens catches a 15-yard reception! Bills to the Super Bowl!
8:22: Owens for 11 yards. Best offense ever?
8:25: Ah man, Trent Edwards tosses an interception. Can we pencil the Bills into the first-overall pick of the 2010 NFL Draft?
8:29: So, the Titans are playing Chris Johnson on multiple drives and running fake punts? Are we sure that Jeff Fisher hasn't been drinking heavily with Kerry Collins?
8:31: What happened to LenDale White's stomach? I know he lost a lot of weight, but it's still very odd to see him with his stomach chopped off. I'm starting to think that White's weight loss was the result of Alge Crumpler stealing all of his food.
8:33: The Titans are simply pushing the Bills around. Buffalo fans can't be encouraged by this one bit.
8:34: Touchdown, Titans. LenDale White flops into the end zone on a 3-yard run. Not a good sign for any Chris Johnson owner out there, though Johnson did look great on this drive.
Titans 14, Bills 0
8:41: Ryan Fitzpatrick's in the game. Great idea by Dick Jauron - you always want your young starter's final throw to be an interception.
8:43: Who cares about the penalty? We've got a compelling interview with Ralph Wilson going.
8:46: I can't believe Vince Young just threw an incompletion. After all, he is a Hall of Fame quarterback.
8:48: Interception by a Hall of Fame quarterback! I cannot believe it!!!
8:52: What do you do on third-and-long when you have a quarterback who can't throw the ball longer than five yards? Run a draw play! Bills in the red zone.
8:54: Go for it!!!
8:55: Pass incomplete - Titans take over on downs. Why didn't those idiots kick a field goal!? Ugh!!!
8:57: Ordinarily, I'd feel safe with the Titans being in poor field position, but they do have a Hall of Fame quarterback, so I'm a bit nervous.
8:58: Titans go three-and-out. Must have been a fluke. Hall of Fame quarterbacks don't go three-and-out too often.
9:00: Mmmmm Angus Third-Pounders. I just drooled all over the keyboard.
9:01: Felton Huggins. Fantasy sleeper.
9:05: Buffalo's red-zone offense is depressing. I'm convinced they wouldn't be able to punch the ball into the end zone here if they had 500 downs to work with.
9:06: Field goal Bills.
Titans 14, Bills 3
9:08: I don't think you can make a movie about someone playing a video game... the whole point of video games is that you're involved in the action and you're controlling the character. Watching someone else do it sucks, so this Gamer movie will probably fail.
9:10: The Final Destination eh? I'm pretty sure the plot involves stupid teenagers surviving an accident and subsequently dying in an arranged order... but that's just a guess.
9:11: "I'm a PC, and I'm a filthy, filthy whore."
9:15: The Bills muff a punt. This is all going according to plan. Don't worry, the Bills are definitely on pace to cover the +3.
9:22: Touchdown, Titans! Vince Young with a Hall of Fame-like pass to Paul Williams.
Titans 21, Bills 3
9:25: The Bills better kneel down thrice; Ryan Fitzpatrick's girly arm can't get the team into field-goal position in only 30 seconds.
9:26: Of course, you can always run a screen and hope the defense hits you out of bounds!
9:28: Booooo!!! Why would you throw the ball to Justin Jenkins? What about Felton Huggins!?
9:29: Field goal, Bills. Halftime.
Titans 21, Bills 6
9:32: Bills fans have plenty to be thrilled about. The team wasn't prepared for a fake punt. Tennessee's offense moved the ball at will on the defense. The Titans' starting defensive line pushed Buffalo's offensive front around. Trent Edwards threw a pick in the red zone. Well, at least Terrell Owens didn't yell at anyone.
9:36: Some interesting posts from the Live In-Game Thread:
Preston627: Ha, Fitzpatrick figures out how to throw more than 10 yards..... and it's dropped.
VBSiena: Give [the Bills] Sam Bradford in the next mock
TheBlackDahliaMurder: Yea, so our 2nd string players are losing in the preseason. Must mean 1-15.
9:38: Noooooo John Madden, why did you retire!? I think I'm going to cry.
9:43: Heroes commercial! I think I just jizzed in my pants.
9:45: Is it just me, or does Gibran Hamdan look like A.C. Slater?
9:51: Bills force a punt amid a boring interview. Time for some more Gibran Hamdan.
9:54: Felton Huggins!!!
9:57: I don't understand why the Bills would sign Ryan Fitzpatrick if they already had Gibran Hamdan. You can't suck at football if your name is Gibran Hamdan. In fact, it's such a cool name that I'm going to name my first son Gibran Hamdan.
9:59: Shawn Nelson just caught his first pass. That's nothing compared to what Felton Huggins has done.
10:01: Rian Lindell hits a 52-yard field goal. Whoopie.
Titans 21, Bills 9
10:04: Al Michaels: "We're going to amortize Tony Dungy right now." If Emmitt's watching this, he has to be thinking, "These do not make sentences. How do you advertise a formal head coach in the National Conference League?"
10:06: Tony Dungy: "[QB Dog Killer] is in a good state mentally." Yeah, anyone who takes pleasure in drowning and electrocuting dogs is in a good state mentally.
10:08: I'm not quite sure, but I think a Bills defender just punched Chris Davis in the balls.
10:12: What are these swan dives the Bills punt returners are taking? I've almost had four heart attacks during this game.
10:14: A funny exchange in the Live In-Game Thread:
Wraith36444: I HATE THE PROGRESIVE COMMERCIALS!!! THAT WOMAN IS SO F***ING ANNYOING!!! Argh.
VBSiena: Yea, but something is hot about her. I'm just not sure what it is, but I'd totally bang her.
Wraith36444: She is not bad provided that she does not talk.
I'm with both of you guys.
10:21: I looked it up during the commercial break - Gibran Hamdan is half-Pakistanian and half-Palestinian. If I were Gibran Hamdan, I'd hold an interview with some magazine and declare that I'd be the next half-Pakistanian, half-Palestinian to win the Super Bowl and get voted into the Hall of Fame.
10:22: Nice, Dungy likes the Chargers this year. My projected Super Bowl winner.
10:29: Alex Mortensen pick-six! Chris Mortensen no longer has a son.
Titans 21, Bills 16
10:31: The Bills need a field goal to cover. Another Mortensen pick-six would be epic. The good news for Chris Mortensen is that he could report that his son had an awesome game, and ESPN would run the story.
10:33: Patrick Ramsey's back in. Damn you, Jeff Fisher.
10:39: Ramsey is 8-of-10 for 72 yards. Vince Young is 5-of-10 for 39 yards, one touchdown and a pick. Ramsey has been more impressive, but Young will win the No. 2 job because he's a Hall of Famer.
10:41: Gibran Hamdan is 74 yards away from backdoor glory.
10:43: Scratch that; Matt Baker is in for Gibran Hamdan. Dick Jauron obviously doesn't want to cover the spread.
10:44: Confirmed - the Bills go three-and-out.
10:50: I'm with Al Michaels - I'll be shocked if Young is still with the team in 2010. The only way he stays on is if Kerry Collins sucks so much that Young replaces him and leads Tennessee to the playoffs. However, I don't see that happening, despite the fact that Young is a Hall of Fame quarterback.
10:52: Matt Baker needs to go 82 yards to cover and win. If only he were a Hall of Fame quarterback...
10:54: Baker now 59 yards away from paydirt, thanks to a nasty personal foul on Donnie Nickey.
10:55: I'd like to state that I will not be watching Trauma this fall on NBC.
10:57: Interception. Game over. We've now established that Matt Baker is no Gibran Hamdan.