My Thoughts During the 2010 Hall of Fame Game - Live Updates
What is this? I'll be posting my thoughts during the 2010 Hall of Fame Game here. That will include everything from the actual game, to the TV personalities, to the commercials, etc. Anything goes. Emmitt Smith unfortunately won't be able to join me because he's being honored at the game.
This page will be updated every five minutes or so, so I hope you join me for the first NFL game in six months!
3:30: Just checking in. I went out for my birthday last night and I'm hung over as hell. I somehow have to eat dinner with my family in about 90 minutes, so that'll be interesting. I'll be back before the game to kick off this live blog.
7:47: I'm back! I somehow survived dinner even though my stomach felt like it was going to explode. It's still pretty bad. Here's to hoping I don't vomit all over my keyboard.
7:48: What the hell is this Gamers vs. Famers crap? Why are there hot girls on the field? Not that I'm complaining or anything.
7:50: Seriously, am I still drunk? I have no idea what's going on in this Gamers vs. Famers game.
7:52: Whoa, hot chicks tackling each other. Suddenly I am a fan of this Gamers vs. Famers stuff.
7:55: Boooooo!!! What a bad call!!! This ref obviously has money on the game.
7:57: Gamers win, but fail to cover the -3 spread. Damn it, I'm down five units already.
7:58: I'm shocked Jim Mora Jr. didn't go, "Terrell Owens' team lost. I blame Olindo Mare. He's a douche bottle."
8:00: How can I watch this Bengals-Cowboys game after that Gamers vs. Famers thriller?
8:02: Speech, Emmitt, speech!
8:04: Emmitt's in the booth at halftime. I think I just peed my pants in excitement.
8:07: I don't have any blinds in my new house yet, so my light is on in my office, and there's some weirdo watering the grass and looking up at me from outside. My goal tonight is to not have him kill me.
8:08: Uh oh, Andrea Kramer's starting to stir up some trouble!
8:09: The game hasn't started yet and Wade Phillips already looks confused. This is not a good sign for Dallas.
8:10: Tony Romo to Miles Austin-Jones incomplete. Austin is now undraftable in all fantasy leagues.
8:11: Caught by Jones! Fantasy championship!
8:14: Romo's pass for Roy Williams is incomplete. That is shocking, let me tell you. Doesn't Williams catch everything?
8:15: See? I told you Roy Williams catches everything! Dez Bryant is now undraftable in all fantasy leagues.
8:17: Fuuummbblleee!!!! OK maybe not - negated by an offsides. Cowboys now have a first-and-goal.
8:18: Cris Collinsworth: "The Cowboys are breathing a sigh of relief." Really? In the preseason, Cris?
8:19: So much for Jason Witten being more of a red-zone target. Witten's been blocking down here, while Williams has inexplicably been targeted twice.
8:20: Witten actually ran a route on third down and Romo didn't have any time. Maybe they need him to block. Field goal, Cowboys
Cowboys 3, Bengals 0
8:23: From the NFL.com Game Center chat: "NFL Chat is so horrible. Just saying to most of you, you may be expressing your opinions, but they are ridiculously horrible. Just saying."
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed this.
8:25: VBSiena on the Live In-Games Thread: "Buehler...Buehler..Buehler?" I planned on using that joke tonight, but he beat me to the punch. I'll be repeating it often this season.
8:26: Terrell Owens! Bengals are unstoppable.
8:29: Bengals drive stalls. Their offensive line didn't look good there, and Palmer hasn't shown us anything yet.
8:30: Emmitt Smith coming up. Get ready to lose precious brain cells trying to decipher his Emmitteese.
8:32: Tony Romo is out of the game - but that doesn't matter because the vaunted Jon Kitna to John Phillips connection cannot be stopped.
8:35: Kitna to Phillips. Just how Wobbling Wade drew it up.
8:36: Actually, to be fair, Wade doesn't wobble anymore because he lost like 200 pounds this offseason. My bad.
8:37: Turn around, fat man!
8:38: Kitna to Phillips fails. You can only go to that twice in one game, Non-Wobbling Wade.
8:39: Crap, Antwan Odom is hurt. This guy is just snake-bitten.
8:40: Odom's fine; someone just poked him in the eye. Great news.
8:41: What happened to Emmitt? I feel cheated.
8:42: Palmer to Owens again. No targets to Chad Ochocinco yet. T-minus three weeks until Ochocinco starts complaining.
8:43: From the Game Center: "i kno its not romo god ur stuiped i typed romo is terrible not cause of the throw wow lol"
Now we know where Emmitt is!
8:44: Palmer is 2-of-5 for 18 yards and has been pressured often. Not good.
8:46: Kitna fumbles, but the Cowboys somehow recover. The level of play has really dropped off.
8:47: Alex Barron whiffs on a pass rusher. I've had about a dozen Cowboy fans e-mail me this offseason trying to convince me that the Barron signing was a good one. Umm... no.
8:48: End of the first quarter of this thrilling game.
8:50: Go for it!!!
Seriously, what's to be gained from punting here? Why not go for it?
8:52: J.T. O'Sullivan spikes it into the ground! What a great play!
8:54: If you can't cover anyone, karate chop an opposing player in the helmet. That's Gibril Wilson's credo anyway.
8:57: John Phillips has been so awesome that I looked up to see whether his name is spelled "John" or "Jon." It's John. I'm happy that I don't have to make any corrections.
8:58: Fumble!!! Bengals recover.
9:00: Coors Light is stupid. Who cares about some stupid window in the box? I'm not going to buy Coors Light because of some stupid window. I will buy Coors Light because I'm a drunk.
9:01: People on suicide watch should be forced to watch J.T. O'Sullivan play so they can feel better about themselves.
9:04: I'd like to suggest a new penalty: "Quarterback Sucks Too Much, on the offense, team must forfeit the game."
9:07: Where do the Cowboys find these awesome white tight ends? It's like Jerry Jones grows them in his backyard.
9:09: Who needs Miles Austin and Dez Bryant when you can go with the trio of Jason Witten, John Phillips and Scott Sicko?
9:13: David Buehler is good from 34. If he's at least somewhat accurate this year, he could easily be a top 10 fantasy kicker.
9:14: I hope J.T. O'Sullivan keeps playing. I need more unintentional comedy.
9:15: The Event... Monday's this fall on NBC... until NBC cancels it five weeks later.
9:16: That overthrow was probably O'Sullivan's best pass of his professional career.
9:17: A Jordan Shipley sighting!
9:18: O'Sullivan didn't have a play? How about a quarterback sneak, derrr?
9:21: Strong prediction from the NFL.com Game Center:
"i say shipley dies at tha end of a regular season game"
Hear that? Shipley's going to die at the end of a game this year. You heard it here first.
9:24: Love Geno Atkins. He destroyed first-round pick Mike Iupati in the Senior Bowl.
9:25: O'Sullivan's backed into his own 5-yard line. I'm praying for a pick-six or a safety.
9:28: If NFL.com's ticket exchange program is anything like the NFLShop.com Game Center, a Cowboys-Redskins ticket may actually be for a Calgary-Hamilton CFL contest.
9:30: Go for it! When you have a great quarterback like O'Sullivan, you have to go for it!
9:32: I don't think that push was enough to knock Brandon Ghee into the punt returner. I just think Ghee doesn't know the rules.
9:35: Is Cincinnati really taking a timeout? They have no chance of scoring with O'Sullivan. In fact, I feel like this timeout benefits Dallas more than the Bengals.
9:38: Brian Leonard actually plays an important role on Cincinnati's offense. He takes a ton of receptions away on third downs. If he's hurt, Cedric Benson could see more catches.
9:39: O'Sullivan interception! At least technically, anyway. That was more of a punt.
9:40: Halftime - Cowboys 6, Bengals 0. Who will win this exciting game? We'll find out after Emmitt!
9:42: This is really embarrassing, by the way. The Bengals seriously couldn't find anyone better than Just Turnovers O'Sullivan this offseason? How is this guy even in the league?
9:43: The Event looks pretty good, but it's hard not to be convinced that NBC will just cancel it by November. NBC and ABC always ruin great shows.
9:45: I almost cried during that clip of Emmitt's speech.
9:46: Go Gata!
9:47: "I forgot one important ingredients." Yes!
9:48: Is there really a Hall of Fame of Business? If there is, remember to set your heart and your nose toward getting into it.
9:49: By the way, if you're wondering, the Hall of Fame of Life is located in the state of Dallas.
9:50: Jerry Rice didn't know he was going into the Hall of Fame? Really?
9:51: Jerry Rice gave the camera the finger!
9:53: Great catch by Packman_Jon: "Why did Emmitt thank Urban Meyer?"
I'll give him credit for not calling him "Irvin Mayas," but still, Emmitt didn't play under Meyer. Kinda weird.
9:57: Dallas' great tight end corps has been debacled.
9:58: If Jordan Palmer can't beat out O'Sullivan, he must be really terrible.
9:59: The Bengals have 70 total yards of offense thus far.
10:04: When in doubt, just throw it to one of your awesome white tight ends. I'm saying white, by the way, because Martellus Bennett sucks.
10:06: Does anyone else feel like this drive doesn't matter for Dallas? I don't think the Bengals can come back from this monstrous 6-0 deficit.
10:08: Michael Johnson looks evil. Maybe his great goal in life is to get revenge on God for giving him an unbelievably long neck.
10:09: Buehler almooosssttt made that one.
10:10: From Game Center:
"to and ochocinco make a good couplethe tochocincos"
10:11: Wow. I can now see why Jordan Palmer is behind J.T. O'Sullivan. Near pick-six.
10:13: Buehler good from 23!!!!!!!
Cowboys 9, Bengals 0.
10:15: Undercovers looked stupid until they noted that it's directed by J.J. Abrams. I'll be the only one watching.
10:17: Wow! Jordan Palmer took a kneel down but didn't draw an offsides penalty. This is high comedy.
10:19: Jordan's strategy apparently is to draw the Cowboys offsides every single play. This may just work.
10:20: A false start ruins Jordan's plan! Nooooooooooo!!!
10:22: The Bengals are now up to 86 total yards of offense. They should be proud of themselves if they crack three figures.
10:26: Dick LeBeau is awesome. No idea why it took him this long to get into the Hall of Fame.
10:28: I feel like if these teams played non-stop into Thursday, neither offense would score. This game is really depressing.
10:29: Bermanism: "Matt Jones snorts his way down to the 39-yard line!"
10:31: Matt Jones snorts his way down to the 28!
(There's not much else to say about this game, sorry).
10:32: This holding penalty has destroyed Cincinnati's drive. I don't think they can overcome this.
10:34: Bengals convert on 4th-and-17! It's a miracle!
10:35: End of the third quarter. Let's see if Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth run out of things to talk about.
10:37: Fumble!!! Dallas ball.
10:38: Not a good sequence for Eason: a fumble and an injury. It could be worse though - he could suck as much as J.T. O'Sullivan.
10:42: Ugh, come on. Stop it with this Brett Favre crap. He's coming back unless he can't walk. There's no need to "analysize," as Emmitt would say.