32. Carolina Panthers (1-8) - Previously: #32 - The Panthers are so horrific that they're probably not going to win anymore games this year. That begs the question, will they take Andrew Luck with the first pick in the 2011 NFL Draft?
There was a discussion about the Panthers and Andrew Luck on the forum. My take:
Jimmy Clausen made some nice throws against the Buccaneers, but he has been pretty bad overall; like a C- or so. If he keeps playing this way, the Panthers will need to take Luck.
HOW-EV-AH, Jerry Richardson is super cheap and won't want to spend No. 1 money on a QB. So, I think the new CBA will play a big factor into Carolina's decision. If there's a draft salary scale, and rookies are no longer being awarded $500 trillion contracts for doing nothing, the Panthers will take Luck. But if Richardson has to mortgage five of his mansions to pay Luck, he may just pick A.J. Green or Marcell Dareus.
31. Buffalo Bills (1-8) - Previously: #31 - Forum member Wraith, who visited Orchard Park for the first time to see the Bills "battle" the Lions, e-mailed me the following tidbit:
If you ever go to Buffalo stay away from Gennessee beer and go to Duffs which has incredible wings. My friend thought the can of Gennessee beer I bought was Guiness.
OK, screw getting Andrew Luck. Buffalo's first order of business is to get their s*** together in terms of their beer so they don't screw any other tourists.
30. Arizona Cardinals (3-6) - Previously: #28 - The Adventure of Derek Anderson's Magic Flask continues!
The following interaction occurred during the Seahawks-Cardinals game:
Hasselbeck: Oh man, I am so awesome. I was just featured in South Park.
Anderson: Hic... hey mannnnnn, take a sssip ffffrom hic this fffflask.
Hasselbeck: I know your tricks, Anderson! Instead of drinking out of your flask, I'm going to rub the alcohol on the broken bone on my wrist to make it feel better.
Anderson: Heeyyy mannnn thazzzz nootttt cooolll hic!
Hasselbeck: It'll be cool when I win this game! Muhahahahaha!
29. Cincinnati Bengals (2-7) - Previously: #27 - Prior to the Monday night game, Carson Palmer was interviewed about playing with Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens. He had the following response:
It's been fun, it's been interesting, it's been miserable, it's been an adventure.
I must have been the only one who caught this. I love how he just stuck "miserable" in there. Palmer can't say anything bad publicly about those two clowns, so I bet he snuck that in intentionally to let everyone know that he's really depressed and crying himself to sleep every night.
It's OK, Carson. Just seven more weeks, and it'll all be over.
28. Detroit Lions (2-7) - Previously: #20 - If only Matthew Stafford were healthy...
More Notes from NFL.com GameCenter (the third from Wraith):
1. "i noe that the Browns are a young rebuilding team and all , but lets face facts , the Jets are not gonna loose two games in a row"
All that analysis on my picks page, and I got the Jets-Browns selection wrong. This guy noes more than I do, apparently.
2. "TEXANS OMG U GUYS PICKED UP JASON ALLEN HHAH GOOD LUCK WITH THE WORST COVER MAN CORNER IN THE LEAGUE NOT MENITION YOUR GONNA WATCH THE MAN DROP ABOUT 3 INTS EVERY GAME GOOD LUCK WITH THAT CANCER ON YOUR TEAMMMM"
Charlie Villanueva was definitely not pleased with this post.
3. "bolden you effing idiot flack o"
This guy has mastered the difficult art of nonsensically putting together random words in a sentence.
27. Denver Broncos (3-6) - Previously: #30 - If you missed it, Todd Haley snubbed Josh McDaniels on the post-game handshake. Here's a picture:
1. What were the odds that this would happen? -500? -1,000? These are the two of the biggest a**holes in the NFL. There was no way there was going to be a handshake.
2. Someone call the fashion police! Forum member Eagles4Life pointed this out: "The bigger question here is why is Josh McDaniels wearing a hoody under a hoody with the top ones sleeves rolled up?"
3. I wonder why these two jerks couldn't shake each other's hand. There has to be something beyond the Broncos running up the score. I'll have to think about this...
26. San Francisco 49ers (3-6) - Previously: #29 - I am now a Troy Smith fan. He looked great against an underrated Rams defense.
By the way, I hate reading ridiculous stats like this one provided by a highly trafficked fantasy Web site last week:
The 49ers are 14-0 when Frank Gore has 24 or more carries.
In other news, the sky is blue, there are weirdos at my gym, and Rosie O'Donnell eats large mammals.
Stats like these are so stupid. Sure, Frank Gore is awesome, but maybe he's getting all of those carries because, I don't know, the 49ers were ahead in the first place and were running out the clock?
25. St. Louis Rams (4-5) - Previously: #23 - An e-mail from Andy W:
Walt, I caught this at a CBS Sports chatroom and thought you'd enjoy it.
[SETUP: Rams-49ers game, 4th quarter, under 1 minute remaining]
JFLDEMONS: What's being reviewed?
CALLMEZEKE: Replay officials are trying to figure out which team sucks worse.
I guess the officials said the following afterward: "The ruling on the field is confirmed. The Rams suck worse, so we are going to whistle them for an unbelievably horrid pass interference penalty even though the quarterback will be throwing off his back foot, and the ball won't be anywhere near the receiver. 49ers win."
24. Minnesota Vikings (3-6) - Previously: #17 - The teams the Vikings beat this year: Detroit (2-7), Arizona (3-6) and Dallas (2-7). Interesting...
So, I couldn't come up with what Haley and McDaniels had a beef about. Why not interview them?
ME: Hey Josh, thanks for joining me.
MCDANIELS: "I am Josh McDaniels and I'm so f***ing awesome."
ME: Josh, I have to call Todd up... Hey Todd, thanks for joining me.
HALEY: "Hey Walt. The girl next door was laying out in her bikini, so I videotaped her teeheehee. Want to watch?"
ME: Hmm... maybe later. I also have Josh McDaniels here for a three-man interview.
HALEY: "What!? How dare you!?!? I hate Josh McDaniels. I f***ing hope he falls into a volcano and tears his ACL."
MCDANIELS: "Hey Turd Haley! You're just jealous of me because I'm Josh f***ing McDaniels, and I'm f***ing awesome."
ME: Guys, guys, can we just be civil here?
HALEY: "How can I be civil!? Josh McStupid deserve to drown in urine!!! He needs to be tortured!!! He's a cancer!!!"
CHARLIE VILLANUEVA: "Hey, hey, hey..."
MCDANIELS: "Turd Hailstick got yelled at by Charlie Villanueva haa haa!!!"
ME: Seriously, guys? "Josh McStupid?" "Turd Hailstick?" You're both grown men.
HALEY: "But Josh McDoodoo ran up the score on my team!!! There's no way I'm letting him watch the videos of my neighbors anymore!!!"
MCDANIELS: "I'm Josh f***ing McDaniels, and I do whateva I want, b****! I don't go to team meetings and I kill people. Whateva! I do whateva I want! Whateva!!! Whateva!!!"
23. Dallas Cowboys (2-7) - Previously: #26 - I'm disgusted that the stupid Cowboys finally tried hard and ruined my Survivor Pool entries. I'm particularly disturbed by the reports that came out of Dallas all week, including one where lethargic corner Mike Jenkins said he brought a notebook to film study for the first time all season.
Really? Was Wade Phillips that poor of a coach, or is Jenkins just that big of a douche? Maybe both? And if it's the former, why wasn't Wobbling Wade fired earlier, like, two years ago?
I wonder what sort of exchange the two had when Phillips was still around...
Wade Phillips: Hey Michael, did you forget to bring your notebook again?
Mike Jenkins: Hell to the yea-yuh!
Wade Phillips (looking down, depressed): Oh...
Mike Jenkins: Notebooks are for losers, dog! I ain't bringing no notebook!
Wade Phillips (looking down, depressed): Oh, OK...
2010 NFL Power Rankings: The Rest:
11. San Diego Chargers (4-5). Previously: #12
12. Tennessee Titans (5-4). Previously: #7
13. Miami Dolphins (5-4). Previously: #14
14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3). Previously: #16
15. Houston Texans (4-5). Previously: #13
16. Oakland Raiders (5-4). Previously: #15
17. Cleveland Browns (3-6). Previously: #19
18. Chicago Bears (6-3). Previously: #22
19. Kansas City Chiefs (5-4). Previously: #18
20. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-4). Previously: #25
21. Seattle Seahawks (5-4). Previously: #24
22. Washington Redskins (4-5). Previously: #21