New Orleans Saints (14-3) - Previously: #1 - Gregg Williams is a genius. The Vikings scored on their first two possessions, but Williams made some adjustments and limited Brett Favre to just 14 points the rest of the game.
What adjustments were those? Williams asked his defenders to hit Favre as hard as they could. And when that wasn't enough? Well, here's Williams and what he told one of his players:
Minnesota Vikings (13-4) - Previously: #3 - The Vikings can cry about the officials all they want. If they don't turn the ball over five times, they advance to the Super Bowl.
Speaking of turning the ball over, I conducted an interview with Adrian Peterson after the game:
ME: Hey Adrian, thanks for joining me.
PETERSON: "No problem!"
ME: Adrian, what happened? You're such a gifted runner, but to fumble the ball three times like that? What went wrong?
PETERSON: "Well, that's just something I'm going to have to work on this offseason. I'm going to try my hardest to wwoeighwerow vvhhg f 0wef."
ME: Whoa, what happened there?
PETERSON: "What are you talking about?"
ME: I must be imagining things. Now, what does this loss do for your team?
PETERSON: "It will be tough, but we're going to work our butts off this spring and come back to training %e94g90 oivshuwg2197rg if wi sf."
ME: There it was again!
ME: You screwed up the final part of your sentence. I couldn't understand you at the end.
ME: You keep fumbling the words at the end of your sentences!
PETERSON: "I think you're right."
ME: I know I'm right.
PETERSON: "Well, 30gvo wivwi g 438g3pfwehvb8e."
ME: Damn it. If only Eric Mangini were around so he could translate this Shannon Sharpe language to me!
New York Jets (11-7) - Previously: #4 - Lesson learned: Avoid history. Bench your starters. Piss off your fans. Piss on football history. Let a rookie quarterback into the playoffs so you can beat him in the AFC Championship. The Grinch Who Stole 19-0 is a genius.
To cheer me up, time for Notes from NFL.com GameCenter - a list of a few stupid comments I read on NFL.com's new crappy GameCenter and my thoughts on them:
1. "The Vikes cost it thereselves in regulation from fumbles"
Man, when I was joking around and having Emmitt say the word "himselves," I never thought an actual human being would ever talk like this.
2. "SAINTS DID NOT LOOSE 5 TURNOVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is true. But they did, in fact, tight 5 turnovers!!!! Zing!!!!
3. "JETS WON'T WINN THIS ONE.SO SAINTS R GETTIN THE SHAKES..THO U WON'T BE IN THE SUPPER BOWL.LOL"
If humanity depended on this guy's ability to spell a sentence correctly, we would all be doomed.
Run Defenses: Yards per carry (YPC) allowed to running backs is the best way to determine a defense's strength against the run, as opposed to rushing yards per game.
Pass Defenses: Yards Per Attempt (YPA) is the best tool to measure a defense's effectiveness versus the pass:
When absolutely and shut up make some picks against the spread and have some intelligent picks, be it college or pro, let us know. Otherwise shut up can keep feeling important that he has learned how to swear from grown ups and gets periodic visits while he tries to integrate ( big word for you I know, look it up) into society from people like absolutely to help him with his fragile mental state,