These are random/interesting e-mails or Facebook posts I've received. The e-mails are italicized and left mostly unedited. My responses follow them.
5/4/10: Jerks of the Week Responses
Thank you for calling out Pete Carroll on Jerks of the Week. As a USC fan I'd like him back, simply because I can't stand that a**hole Lane Kiffen. But what he did to Taylor Mays was completely wrong and he should pay.
Consider this. If Taylor Mays would have declared himself eligible for the 2009 NFL Draft, he'd have easily been the top safety available, maybe even the top defensive back (I'm still not sold on Malcolm Jenkins). He'd have been able to wallpaper his mansion with $100 bills.
However, Carroll asked him to stay on one year at USC. Trusting Carroll, Mays didn't declare for the 2009 NFL Draft.
The extra year completely f***ed him over and decimated his draft stock. A potential top 10 pick turned into a Day 2 pick.
Now I'm not saying Mays is perfect, nor am I saying that Pete Carroll should be strung up by his balls while Taylor Mays kicks him in the teeth. Mays has deficiencies in his game that will be horribly exposed at the next level. But to put a kid's pro career on hold because you want him back is just plain greedy, another defining characteristic of a college football coach.
Carroll then doesn't apologize to Mays for screwing over his paycheck, and then has the scumbaggery (awesome word) to pick a player that emerged as a better prospect than Mays because he f***ed Mays up. And instead of the thin defensive back class of 2009, Mays had to complete with one of the deepest defensive back classes in a long time in 2010.
If nothing else, he should cover the salary difference between a top 10 pick and a mid second-rounder. Hopefully Mays has an awesome career and makes Carroll look like a fool. Or maybe this was all just another one of Pete Carroll's brilliant practical jokes? Maybe the whole 2010 NFL Draft was just one big mock and Pete Carroll is holding the real one in his basement sometime in June? I'm not sure.
--> I'm glad you liked that Jerks of the Week entry. Anyone who defends Pete Carroll believes Mr. Miyagi should have chosen Johnny Lawrence over Daniel-san in that karate tournament. And if so, these people are obviously communists.
From Ed T. (pre-draft):
Do you know any good draft drinking games? During the Combine, my friends and I tried drinking every time an analyst mentioned Al Davis and his love of the 40. This led to vomiting. Next we tried drinking every time there was an awkward pause after Charles Davis spoke. Near fatal. Finally, we settled on every time Mayock said "body beautiful" - it went pretty well.
Maybe we'll drink every time Roger Goodell defends how he is ruining football fans' lives. My first thought was every time Sun Tan Man interrupts Kiper, but I've grown tired of the taste of charcoal.
--> That's pretty hilarious. I'd think you may have nearly died whenever Charles Davis spoke. Forget the alcohol, listening to Charles Davis can definitely be fatal. It's amazing how a man can make a living finishing everyone's sentences.
From Quinten R:
In response to your Jerks of the Week about Michael Silver - Michael Silver's a hack. This was the same geek who laughably thought Toby Gerhart's stock was going to drop because he's a white running back.
This was the same geek who responded to people's cynical criticism of The Who's performance with his own cynical criticism.
In general, his columns always have that same smug attitude of "everyone else is stupid except me."
He's nothing more than a self-righteous douche with no common sense whatsoever. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that.
--> I found that article of his incredibly pretentious. Who's he to be offended by the "Silverback" nickname if the player in question wanted to be announced that way? It's like that one time some guy e-mailed me to defend Tom Cable because I made Cable out to be a woman-beater (apparently, I have to be careful not to hurt the feelings of women-beaters).
Some people just think they can save the world with a keyboard, but they're the ones who are causing the problems in the first place.
From Corey R:
Todd McShay - I think this guy is the one reason why I hardly watch ESPN anymore. I prefer to get all my football news on NFL Network. I cant take it, just looking at the guy builds this rage inside of me, I like Kiper and its a shame that he should even have to share air time with this guy.
--> Kiper and McShay are like some hot girl and her fat friend. You want to hang out with the hot girl, but none of your wingmen are interested because they don't want to hook up with the fat friend. The same applies to ESPN - I want to hear what Kiper has to say, but McShay ruins everything. And forget hooking up (not that there's anything wrong with that); he's not even a good conversationalist because all he does is interrupt everyone.
From Nathan T:
I had to catch up with your Jerks of the Week entries, and I found your
one on Ben Roethelisburger and his accuser. OK. I just have to say,
beyond what you already put in such an elegant numbered list... For
starters, that dumb broad was 20. Twenty. 19+1. If you didn't know,
that is roughly one (1) year short of the LEGAL drinking age. So why
doesn't she, who in her written signed testimony she gave police
admitted to drinking in the bar, get in trouble for underage drinking?
Why doesn't the bar, whose bartender admitted to serving
her booze, get fined and have their alcohol license revoked? I mean,
seriously! This is as bad as douchebags in NYC that give people prison
time for shooting themselves. Don't get me wrong, Big Ben should be
getting more time that six weeks off, but why is he the only one the
cops gave a rats @$$ about?
--> That's a great point. Her being 20 doesn't excuse what Ben did, but at the same time, she should be facing a penalty for breaking the law herself. And like you said, the bar should really be in trouble.
I still say she should get the same penalty Ben did (though you're right in saying Ben deserved more time off). He's suspended for 6 weeks, so she should be suspended from her job for 6 weeks. Luckily she doesn't have to work in an Applebee's in Buffalo - not that there's anything wrong with that.
Random Mailbag Archive:
Random Mailbag Home
JaMarcus Russell's Purple Drank - July 11
Jerks of the Week Responses - May 4
Drunk Mail, Hate Mail, Lost Mail - March 24
Al Davis Hate Mails/E-mails - March 2
Hackers and Dog Killers - Feb. 8
Another Weekend of Hatemail - Jan. 25
One Pick Wrong, Six New Hate Mails - Jan. 18
Fresh Batch of Hate Mail - Jan. 17
First Hate Mail of the Year - Jan. 10
Hate Mail - Dec. 29
Kansas, Matt Millen, Stolen Word - Dec. 19
Rebecca Grant, Debacled English, Fat Wife - Dec. 12
Hate Mail, Vick Mail, Delhomme Mail - Dec. 5
Fat Coaches, Dumb Coaches, Fantasy Fails - Nov. 28
Hate Mail - Nov. 24
Vikings, Jerks Entry, Marriage Talk - Nov. 21
Jerks of the Week
Fantasy Football Rankings - Aug. 31
2016 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 25
2017 NFL Mock Draft - July 29
2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 28
2016 NBA Mock Draft - May 7
NFL Picks - Feb. 1
NFL Free Agents