What is this? This is my fifth-annual NBA Draft Blog. I'll be posting my thoughts about the first round of the NBA Draft here. That will include everything from the actual picks, to the ESPN personalities, to the commercials, etc. Anything goes. This page will be updated every five minutes or so, so I hope you join me for the 2011 NBA Draft!
3:20: This live blog will kick off around 7 p.m. Feel free to discuss the 2011 NBA Draft in the comment board below or on the forums in the Live 2011 NBA Draft Thread.
6:59: Let's kick this off. ESPN isn't talking about the NBA Draft for some reason. Instead, they're running a feature on Josh Hamilton being a vampire. And with that in mind, teenage girls have all fallen in love with Josh Hamilton.
7:00: Stuart Scott! How exciting. Last year, I noted that I was scared that his glass eye would turn me into stone. I'm still afraid. Very afraid.
7:02: I just passed by my front window, and I saw what looked like a hot chick walking around. Run this blog or talk to the hot chick? Talk to the hot chick or run this blog? Decisions, decisions.
7:03: I choose run this blog because I can eat my roast beef and cheese sandwich while typing. NOM NOM NOM NOM.
7:04: Whoa, it's Michele Bachmann!
7:05: Michele Bachmann says that no one knows whom the Cavaliers are going to pick - not even the players. Sorry, Michele. All the mock drafters know. It's Kyrie Irving.
7:07: If you've forgotten, we will be posting David Kay's Live 2011 NBA Draft Grades minutes after each pick tonight. Our Cleveland (Kyrie Irving), Minnesota (Derrick Williams) and Utah (Enes Kanter) grades are already listed.
7:08: I don't get why the Jazz wouldn't want Jimmer Fredette. He fits their "best white player available" policy unless they love Klay Thompson.
7:10: Forum member Arcade doesn't like that we've graded the Williams and Kanter picks yet.
Arcade: Assuming that no trades will go on in the next two picks is a bit presumptuous.
Me: That's what we're going for!
7:11: Oh, I should note that I'll be running a live blog for the first round only. The picks will be coming in so quickly in the second round for me to write anything creative/stupid. Plus, no one cares about the second round anyway.
7:12: Call me crazy (no, really, call me crazy because I am crazy) but I'd take Kemba Walker with the No. 1 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft. Walker is a proven winner. I want him on my team. Kyrie Irving, meanwhile, made Duke worse when he played in the NCAA Tournament.
7:14: I re-read my 2010 NBA Draft Blog. Here are my five favorite notes:
1. Jay Bilas is the man. He knows everything. Seriously, if he were to tell me, "Walt, you should ask Rosie O'Donnell out on a date. She's super fat now, but she will be hot. She has tremendous upside," I'd definitely take his advice.
2. Jay Bilas just said, "Al-Farouq Aminu runs the court when the spirit moves him." What the hell does that mean? In what other profession can you get away with an excuse like that? In a normal office job, if your boss asks you to get those TPS reports to him, can you respond, "I'll do that if the spirit moves me?"
3. Stuart Scott: "The Hornets hired Monty Williams as their head coach." Hilarious reaction from my dad: "Piece of s***!"
4. My dad just said the "Sixers will be very dangerous." Hear that, rest of the NBA? You've been warned.
5. I told my dad that someone on Twitter reported that Greivis Vasquez will be the pick. "Twitter? What's Twitter? I don't understand how they could know if David Stern didn't say it yet."
7:16: Speaking of my dad, he won't be watching the NBA Draft with me for the first time since 2005. He's on a business trip in Poland. What sucks about this is that he said the following to me yesterday:
Dad: I'll call you when my plane lands.
Me: When will that be?
Dad: 4 a.m. your time.
7:17: Yes! Jay Bilas has Kemba Walker No. 4. Bilas would have him No. 1, but he doesn't want to look too smart compared to everyone else.
7:19: David Kay just sent me his final 2011 NBA Mock Draft will post now.
7:27: Some notes about things I heard while I was updating the mock:
1. Rachel Nichols is hot.
2. Jeff Van Gundy has a crush on Kurt Rambis.
3. Donnie Walsh should intentionally sabotage the Knicks' draft. That's what I would do anyway.
7:30: Tom Penn: "MUHAHAHAHA THERE WILL NEVER BE BASKETBALL AGAIN MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
At least that's what I think he said. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
7:33: There's a fire starting in my heart fever pitch something something something. Ugh, this song sucks. I hate how ESPN features a song during its NFL or NBA Draft coverage, and continues to play the s*** out of it.
7:34: BOOOOOO NEW JERSEY YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
7:35: YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY MAVERICKS!!!!!!!!!!!
7:36: I never get this. Why are the Cavaliers on the clock? Haven't they been on the clock for a month?
7:37: Prediction - The Cavaliers will trade the Nos. 1 and 4 picks to the Miami Heat for LeBron James and Mike Bibby. Mark it down.
7:38: What's taking the Cavs so long? Is Dan Gilbert trying to whore out his son for another high draft pick?
With the No. 1 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Cavaliers select PG Kyrie Irving
7:40: And every single 2011 NBA Mock Draft on the Internet is now ruined.
7:41: Reporter, "How's your toe doing?" Irving: "My toe is broken forever! Ha! I've fooled these idiot Cavaliers!"
7:43: I would love it if one year, a player's dad said something like, "My son's an idiot. I have no idea why this team drafted him. They're going to be sorry, but I'm thrilled to finally have him off my hands."
7:44: Minnesota has a player named Laser? How were they not in first place last year?
With the No. 2 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Timberwolves select SF Derrick Williams
7:46: David and I have the only two 2011 NBA Mock Drafts on the Web that hit these first two picks. Fact.
7:48: Good job, Timberwolves. Go ahead and give yourselves a round of applause!
With the No. 3 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Jazz select C Enes Kanter
7:50: Boom. Three for three. Unstoppable.
7:51: Hey guys, did you know that if you add a P to Enes Kanter's first name you get... oh, I already did this joke. Never mind.
7:52: The Timberwolves front office was cheering more than the Jazz front office. I guess the Jazz wanted Derrick Williams.
7:54: Doing this blog without my dad is so weird. If he were here, he'd say, "Of course Utah took Kanter! He's white!"
7:55: Hilarious post from Sitisfit on the forums trying to imitate Enes Kanter: "I got to bang so many chicks at Kentucky."
With the No. 4 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Cavaliers select F Tristan Thompson
7:56: OK... NOOOWWWW all the mock drafts are screwed up.
7:57: I only have one question about the Tristan Thompson pick: Who the hell is Tristan Thompson?
7:59: Tristan Thompson is Canadian? No wonder I never heard of him. He's been too busy dipping his arms in butterscotch pudding.
8:01: FYI, our grade for the Thompson pick is posted. I'll give you a hint. It starts with H and ends with H. Check out in our Live 2011 NBA Draft Grades.
With the No. 5 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Raptors select C Jonas Valanciunas
8:03: The fourth pick was a Canadian. The fifth pick is a bad guy from 24. What an interesting draft.
8:05: Reporter: "How can you help the Raptors?" Jonas Valanciunas: "I help Raptors but first I must keeell Jack Bauer he keeell my brozer in European var."
With the No. 6 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Bullets select Jan Vesely, F, Czech Republic
8:08: Congrats, Washington! You have the first female player in NBA history!
8:09: Oh, Jan. You're good. In an attempt to fool everyone into thinking he's not a woman, Arya Stark, I mean Jan Vesely kissed a hot blonde right after the pick. Real smooth, Jan.
8:10: It's never good when a player is asked, "What do you think of your new team?" and the first word is "Ehhhhhh...???"
8:11: Can't believe Brandon Knight's available. By the way, the grades for Vesely and Valanciunas are up.
With the No. 7 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Bobcats select Bismack Biyombo, F, Congo
8:13: Congrats to Brazil. Congo is deep in the heart of the rain forest in Brazil, so Bismack Biyombo will make that nation proud.
8:14: Whoa, did they just say Biyombo can't score? Umm... why is he the seventh pick again?
8:15: So, Biyombo can't score, and we don't know how old he is? Has no one learned from the Samuel Dalembert disaster?
With the No. 8 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Pistons select Brandon Knight, PG, Kentucky
8:18: Finally. Didn't most mocks have Knight third a few days ago?
8:20: This is bizarre. An NBA Draft pick who can actually speak English? Say it ain't so.
8:23: Let's pretend my dad is here. Dad: "The Sixers are idiots! Why aren't they trading Willie Green for this pick! Trade Willie Green to Charlotte now!"
With the No. 9 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Bobcats select Kemba Walker, PG, Connecticut
8:31: My dad really wanted Jimmer. Perhaps it's good that he's in Poland because I'd have a few broken lamps right about now.
8:32: Kinda silly that Jimmer is talking about the Kings while wearing a Bucks hat.
8:33: CKane138 just tweeted me:
How has the draft room not burst into flames without teams calling the players before the picks? It makes no sense.
Yeah, really. Shame on you, NFL Draft. This is so much more exciting - even though most of these players suck.
8:35: Jimmer dropped 40 points against the inmates. *** Insert soap/shower/taking it up the a** joke here. ***
With the No. 11 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Warriors select Klay Thompson, SG, Washington State
8:36: I wonder if Golden State's general manager just splooged all over himself when David Stern announced this pick.
8:39: Klay doesn't look like he wants to be there. It's like he's thinking, "Man... the Warriors are taking me only because their GM thinks I'm sexy. This sucks."
With the No. 12 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Jazz select Alec Burks, SG, Colorado
8:41: Wait... Alec Burks is black? I thought he was white. Meh, still counts as best white player available strategy.
8:43: The live draft thread on the forums is going down a dark path. Multiple posters are saying that they're smitten with Arya Stark. No comment.
8:44: Ugh. Not Mark Jackson and his crappy New York accent.
8:46: Mark Jackson just guaranteed that the Golden State Warriors will be in the playoffs. Translation: Mark Jackson will be working for ESPN in 2012.
With the No. 13 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Suns select Markieff Morris, F, Kansas
8:48: Damn Morrises. Can't tell the difference between any of 'em.
8:49: I had Marcus Morris going to the Suns in my mock. I'll count this as a correct pick.
8:51: Markieff Morris: "I like Phoenix. Phoenix like me." I think we found our new Emmitt.
8:52: Was Marcus Morris crying because he was happy, or because he was upset that he didn't go first? I guess we'll know if they stop talking to each other.
With the No. 14 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Rockets select Marcus Morris, F, Kansas
8:54: Isn't it funny that Markieff Morris was born seven...
8:55: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUART SCOTT RUINED MY 7 MINUTES AT BIRTH 7 MINUTES AT DRAFT JOKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
8:58: By the way, David Kay is not a fan of either of these Morris picks. Check out what he has to say in our Live 2011 NBA Draft Grades.
9:00: Best white player available strategy?
With the No. 15 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Pacers select Kawhi Leonard, SF, San Diego State
9:01: Damn it.
9:04: Sixers are up. My dad wants Nikola Vucevic. If he's not the pick, my dad may just vandalize some stuff at the Poland airport. You've been warned, Polish people.
With the No. 16 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the 76ers select Nikola Vucevic, F, USC
9:07: Holy crap! My dad called this one. I can't believe he's not here. I don't even think he's going to believe me when I tell him that the Sixers picked Vucevic when he calls me later tonight.
9:11: The Pacers and Jazz took black players. The Sixers took a white player. Craziest draft ever.
With the No. 17 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Knicks select Iman Shumpert, SG, Georgia Tech
9:13: You know it wasn't a good sign when David Stern had to look in closely on the draft card. Poor Spike Lee. Guess he'll have to make another porno.
9:16: Greg Grunwald? Wasn't he one of Harry Potter's magic teachers?
9:17: TRADE: The Spurs have dealt George Hill to the Pacers for Kawhi Leonard. Our trade grade is available here Live 2011 NBA Draft Grades.
With the No. 18 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Bullets select Chris Singleton, F, Florida State
9:18: And yes, it's the Bullets; not the Wizards.
With the No. 19 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Bucks select Tobias Harris, F, Tennessee
9:23: What's the difference between being in the green room and not being in the green room if you can attend the NBA Draft and still shake David Stern's hand? No players should be allowed at the draft if they're not invited into the green room. Why? Meh, I don't know. I'm just pissed off that I don't know yet another prospect. Seriously, who is Tobias Harris, and what were his parents thinking when they named him Tobias Harris?
9:25: Quick, David Kahn, trade Kevin Love for Iman Shumpert!
9:25: Great job reporting the George Hill trade, ESPN. Just 20 minutes late there.
9:27: Who the hell is George Popovich?
9:28: Don't question the Spurs, John Barry. They're a billion times smarter than everyone.
With the No. 20 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Timberwolves select Donatas Motiejunas, F, Lithuania
9:30: I'm going to keep calling this guy Donnie Motiejunas until he legally changes his name to that, or something silly like "World Peace."
9:31: "Sometimes Motiejunas plays like he doesn't care." Yeah, that's not a good sign.
9:33: Stuart Scott is really screwing up. George Popovich... Toronto Trailblazers... I'm not scared of the glass eyeball anymore.
With the No. 21 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Trailblazers select Nolan Smith, PG, Duke
9:35: What's with Nolan Smith getting a huge ovation for going to Portland? I don't get it.
9:37: I remember Derek Smith! Tecmo NBA Basketball. Great game. I didn't know he died though, that sucks.
9:39: Andre Miller gets traded again? How many times can this guy switch teams? He's like some college slut who sleeps with different frat guys every single night.
With the No. 22 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Nuggets select Kenneth Faried, F, Morehead State
9:46: Ugh, not that stupid Fever Pitch song again. FML.
With the No. 23 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Timberwolves select Nikola Mirotic, F, Montenegro
9:49: Damn you, Nikola, you buffalo chicken wrap-stealing bastard!
9:50: There we go. It only took ESPN five minutes to report a trade this time instead of 20.
9:51: Kinda weird that David Kahn would select a player he won't be able to use until 2014. Because he won't be the general manager in 2014.
With the No. 24 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Thunder selects Reggie Jackson, PG, Boston College
9:53: See that? "Thunder selects?" My grammar is awesome.
9:54: Reggie Jackson has to take a shower before every game? What about after?
9:57: By the way, the Bulls made the Nikola Mirotic pick. I can't believe David Kahn is pulling a Bill Belichick and continuously trading down. I told you, this is a crazy draft.
With the No. 25 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Cetics select Marshon Brooks, SG, Providence
9:59: This is the guy I wanted the Sixers to take. He can score and create his own shot - not bad for No. 16 in the worst draft class in 20 years. Good job, Celtics.
10:02: The Nets actually took Brooks; they traded up from No. 27. I take back what I said. Celtics still suck. Good job, Nets.
With the No. 26 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Mavericks select Jordan Hamilton, F, Texas
10:04: I love how I know of Texas' 26th pick Jordan Hamilton, but I've never heard of Texas' fourth pick, Tristan Thompson. Why am I doing this NBA Draft blog again? Maybe I should have talked to that hot chick outside of my house.
10:05: GabeIsaacson just tweeted me:
You always talk about good teams making good picks in the NFL.. same with Dallas getting a major steal here with JHamilton.
Great point. Dumb teams make dumb picks. Smart teams make smart picks. Amazing how that works.
10:08: Oh, silly Charlotte Hornets, if only you kept Kobe Bryant.
With the No. 27 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Cetics select JaJuan Johnson, F, Purdue
10:09: So confused. The Blazers acquired Jordan Hamilton, and then the Nuggets somehow obtained him. David Kay will have everything cleared up in our draft grade pages.
10:11: This is so unlike David Kahn. I'm willing to bet anything he hired Bill Belichick as a consultant.
With the No. 28 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Timberwolves select Norris Cole, PG, Cleveland State
10:13: And now I'm definitely convinced that Belichick is making these picks. Belichick stockpiles running backs in the NFL and point guards in the NBA. Then again, David Kahn does this as well... so maybe Belichick has been drafting for Minnesota for the past few years.
10:14: There's a fire starting in my heart... And there's also an aneurysm starting in my brain. Thanks, ESPN.
With the No. 29 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Spurs select Cory Joseph, G, Texas
10:18: Bold prediction. Cory Joseph will be a great player. How do I know this? Because the Spurs just drafted him. Duh.
10:20: OK, we've detailed the Jordan Hamilton trade madness. Read the grades about those trades and all of the picks in the Live 2011 NBA Draft Grades.
10:21: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" "Thank you for that." I'd say David Stern handled that better than Roger Goodell.
With the No. 30 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft, the Bulls select Jimmy Butler, F, Marquette
10:22: Cool Jimmy Butler story. I want Disney to make that movie now.
10:24: David Kay just texted me to say that he had to restart his computer because it was having issues, so he'll be slightly behind in the second round.
10:31: Now that the first round is over, I'm going to sign off. The picks will be quicker in the second round, so I won't be able to type much in between posting David's Live 2011 NBA Draft Grades.
Some thoughts before I conclude this:
1. ESPN really has to stop their annoying habit of playing a song a billion times in a row. Seriously, my ears are bleeding right now.
2. The Miami Heat just acquired Norris Cole from the Timberwolves. Yet another trade down. Bill Belichick working his magic yet again.
3. Not sure why fans are booing David Stern. There's going to be a lockout because 22 teams are losing money; not because the owners are greedy (like they are in the NFL).
4. My dad's getting drunk in Poland tonight. He's wanted this Nikola Vucevic character for weeks.
5. Stuart Scott scares me no more. Adam Silver, on the other hand, is not someone I'm going to be calling to babysit my future kids.
6. Who the hell is Bojan Bogdanovich?
7. ESPN needs to pay Adam Schefter to report for the NBA Draft. Sure, he'll ruin all of the picks, but at least ESPN will be on top of all the trades; and not 20 minutes behind each time. Seriously, Jay Bilas looked awfully stupid talking about the Bulls at No. 28 when it wasn't even Chicago's pick. And it's not easy to make Bilas look stupid. I mean, I'm honestly thinking about calling Rosie O'Donnell for a date because of him.
10:32: Thanks for reading my nonsensical thoughts in this 2011 NBA Draft Blog. We'll keep posting the Live 2011 NBA Draft Grades until the draft ends (when David's computer starts cooperating), and we'll have more 2011 NBA Draft analysis tomorrow.