3:04: Welcome to my second-annual Super Bowl Diary. I'll be posting comments like this throughout the evening about every three minutes. Keep refreshing this page if you want to check out what I think about the game, announcers, commercials, etc. I'll post my first comment around 6:00ish.
6:12: OK, Super Bowl time. I didn't watch any pre-game shows. I never do. I hate the hype. I just want to watch the game. Not some dumb FOX robot.
6:14: I'm watching the game with my sister and her hot friend Abby. My sister, Jackie, wants the Patriots to win because her ex-fiance is a Bills fan. Girls get bitter about this whole break-up thing. By the way, I don't know if it's fiance, fiancee, finance, Beyonce... it's all the same to me. I'm not getting married in the next five years.
6:16: I just asked Abby who she likes. She said, "I don't even know who's playing... is it the New York Giants and Washington Patriots?" Nice - I guess she's in it for the commercials.
6:19: Who is Jordin Sparks? Winner of American Idol? Shows how much I know.
6:21: Coin toss coming up! Lots of money on the line for degenerate gamblers betting on it. Can you feel the intensity?
6:23: These commercials are depressing. I'm never buying Dell ever again... even though I'm using a Dell and it's great.
6:25: People should be able to bet on Length of Coin Toss - Over/Under 2:34. This is ridiculous. It's taking forever.
6:28: Giants win the toss! I bet $50,000 on Heads! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
6:30: One sideline reporter I could deal with, but two? Actually, Chris Myers makes it feel like there are 95 sideline reporters. I'll never forget when he said, "The Falcons are going to try to score early" in the NFC Championship three years ago. Great analysis.
6:33: I can't believe Brandon Jacobs gained three yards on that first play. It looked like he lost five.
6:34: Great throw by Eli. Looks like he doesn't have his Wal-Mart smock under his jersey on today. I think he burnt it.
6:36: Another clutch pass by Eli. New England's back seven is terrible.
6:37: Bud Light Fire commercial drew a few giggles. Audi Godfather commercial was creative, but drew quizzical looks from the girls, who never saw the movie.
6:41: Jackie on Ty Warren's stomach: "Ewww, that Warren should do abs."
6:42: Three third-down conversions is a Super Bowl record? Eli Manning is setting records already? If you told me this five weeks ago, I would have died of a heart attack.
6:43: Another third-down conversion. Eli is the man.
6:45: Eli doing his best impresonation of Trent Green, throwing it short on third down.
6:46: Lawrence "New York" Tynes good from 32.
Giants 3, Patriots 0
6:47: Great Pepsi Max commercial. Awesome Chris Kattan cameo. Best ad by far.
6:49: I got a gal named Boney Maroney. Sorry, NFL Primetime withdrawl.
6:50: Jackie on the Under Armour commercial: "Ugh, this looks one of those crappy ghetto movies like Step Up 3.
6:53: Big third down coming up for the Giants' defense. A stop would be huge here after their long drive.
6:54: ...And Tom Brady converts to Wes Welker. What a shock.
6:56: Another third down for the Pats coming up, but this is a 3rd-and-10. If they don't convert, this possession will be identical to New York's.
6:57: Pass interference. Down to the 1.
6:58: The girls aren't liking this game too much. Five seconds before the snap on third down, Jackie goes, "Ewww, Walt, look how ugly this girl is!" (looking on a picture on Facebook.)
7:00: Nice - the Terminator just pwned the FOX robot. By the way, what was up with that Doritos country singer commercial? I ate Doritos today - no surprise there - and I'm ashamed now in the wake of that dumb ad.
7:01: Touchdown Boney Maroney!
Patriots 7, Giants 3
7:03: I can't believe there have only been two possessions thus far. Good for my Under, I guess... The Giants have to score though.
7:05: Awesome Danica Patrick ad, but I had to say it sucked because the girls said, "That was stupid!"
7:07: Why isn't anyone saying all of Tom Brady's 50,000 girlfriends are distractions? Tony Romo gets one chick, and she ruins his life. How is that remotely fair?
7:09: Holy crap, great catch by Amani Toomer!
7:10: The girls are leaving me all alone. Jackie: "Oh wow, the Patriots are winning?" Abby: "This football sucks!" I don't think Abby even watched one play.
7:12: Why couldn't we bet on the color of Tom Coughlin's face by the fourth quarter? I'd go with the same shade as that Violet chick turns in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
7:13: Ugh, cheap interception by the Patriots, which was set up by the delay-of-game penalty.
7:15: Yeah, I didn't get that Budweiser Rocky-Horse ad. To make up for that, I'll give you more Danica Patrick.
7:16: Steve Smith, you suck!!!! The Giants need to go receiver early in the draft. I'm convinced.
7:17: Nice, Giants get a stop on third down! If New England would have converted, I would have complained relentlessly, so you've been spared.
7:21: Unbelievable... The Giants can't start fumbling and bobbling balls that turn into picks. Their defense needs to force those fom the Patriots. If they keep doing this, they won't even have a chance to cover.
7:24: Hearts popping out of shirts? Lizards dancing to Thriller? Anti-Drug ads? What the hell is this? These are the worst commercials ever. The people who came up with this crap should be fired.
7:27: Giants sack Brady twice in a row. Whoever said they didn't have a shot in this game was completely nuts.
7:29: Congratulations for contributing to these craptastic ads, GMC.
7:31: Bud Light brings the Booo Light guy back. Ugh. At least there were hot girls and the awkward Russian meat guy at the end.
7:36: The Giants are killing themselves and are only down four. They need some yardage here on 3rd-and-18 for a Tynes "Waits for no one" field goal.
7:38: Or... not...? What was that? Way to throw a near-interception, Eli. Now the Patriots are going to get a touchdown and lead 14-3 at the half.
7:40: Planters Unibrow Chick commercial was awesome. Still worst Super Bowl ads ever.
7:42: Commercials getting better. Justin Timberlake was funny. The Dorito rat was also entertaining, but they had that on two weeks ago.
7:44: New York's defense is awesome. If they force a punt, Eli could put something together like he did in Dallas.
7:46: First down Brady to Donte' Stallworth. That was huge. Great play call by Josh McDaniels. I'm loving this coordinator battle between McDaniels and Steve Spagnuolo. Both should be head coaches next year.
7:48: Jackie and Abby are back with alcohol. Asks Abby, "Why are the Patriots NE?" I answer, "Because they're New England." She responds, "I thought they were called the Patriots?" Well, like I said, she's hot.
7:50: Fumble!!!! Giants have it!!!!
7:52: Hail mary?
7:54: Incomplete, but exciting. Halftime, 7-3. Pretty solid game so far, even though there's not a lot of scoring. The ads have pretty much sucked except for five.
8:06: Dinosaurs playing the guitar. Awesome. The girls had interesting opinions. Jackie: "Ewww, that guy is old and scary-looking. Abby: "Ewww... there's nothing cool about old guys trying to act young." Jackie: "Yeah, there's nothing cool about old people."
8:10: Neither knew who Tom Petty is. The NFL really needs to do something about these old losers performing. No one cares about them.
8:14: Abby: "He's still playing?" Jackie: "He's not dead yet?"
8:21: Nothing like a 30-minute halftime. I'm not a big fan of the Super Bowl. I just want to see the game. I don't care about the halftime show or the ads.
8:30: Great tackle by Antonio Pierce on third down. New York's defense is incredible; they're not giving the Patriots anything deep because of their pass rush.
8:33: Let's put Shaq and horse racing together! That'll be an awesome commercial! Ugh...
8:34: C'mon Belichick, don't challenge this. It's such a cheap penalty.
8:36: Damn it, I thought they were going to run Richard Simmons over.
8:37: Wow, Giants whistled for 12 men on the field. The Patriots can't possibly cover now. They're karmacally doomed.
8:40: Kevin Faulk single-handedly converts 3rd-and-13. I said it two weeks ago - I'll never understand why no other team has ever tried to pry him away from the Patriots with a big contract.
8:42: Huge sack by Michael Strahan! This is going to be a tough field goal for Stephen Gostkowski.
8:43: Or not! Turnover on downs!
8:48: Patriots' defense has been spectacular? What is Troy Aikman smoking? I guess allowing 27 points to Kyle Boller and 24 to Adam Joshua Feeley is pretty spectacular.
8:51: Great coverage by Randall Gay, but Plaxico Burress should have had it. Eli missing Amani Toomer over the middle for 18 yards was huge.
8:53: The baby barf commercial actually drew a few laughs from the peanut gallery. Bud Light - The Ability to Fly was all right.
8:55: The Patriots cannot pass protect against New York's incredible defense. For the first time tonight, I'm not worried about the Patriots covering.
8:56: OK... now I am. Sixteen yards to Welker.
8:58: Welker into Giants territory. Maybe he'll win MVP, but now I'm a bit worried about New England covering a game they shouldn't.
9:04: Nice stop by New York's defense on 3rd-and-15. It's looking good for a Giants cover, but unfortunately, Abby has left the house, complaining that this game is boring and that she has to wake up early tomorrow morning. Boooo eye candy gone.
9:08: Damn it, I walked Abby out and went to the bathroom, and missed Kevin Boss' big catch. Son of a...
9:09: Steve Smith makes amends for his interception. Giants down to the 12!
9:11: Touchdown, Giants! Holy crap! Eli Manning is the man!
Giants 10, Patriots 7
9:14: I'm so glad New York scored there. I told everyone I knew this past week that the Giants would be winning at some point during the fourth quarter. Now, the Patriots need to score a touchdown and win by less than 12.
9:15: Adam Sandler movie!!! It's been a while. I can't wait to see it.
9:19: The Patriots are forced to punt again. I'll repeat, anyone who said the Giants had no shot, and New England was going to win in a blowout was completely insane. That said, I didn't think the Patriots wouldn't be able to score at all.
9:25: Great tackle by Rodney Harrison to stop the Giants on third down. Tough break for Eli. He somehow wasn't sacked and just missed Plaxico... although that was a really difficult throw to make.
9:27: I watched the Moment of Truth. It was pretty good, but they had commercials every five minutes. I seriously couldn't take it anymore.
9:29: My MVP candidates thus far: 1. Justin Tuck. 2. Eli Manning. 3. Wes Welker.
9:32: Wes Welker for MVP! That's one of the props I have.
9:33: New England inside New York's 20. Four minutes to go. Very intense. Jackie is texting.
9:35: Why doesn't anyone talk about Super Bowl IV as a huge upset? Everyone thought Super Bowl III was a fluke, but AFC proved itself by winning again. One of the most underrated moments in NFL history.
9:37: Wow, Brady missed Moss. Go to Welker!
9:38: Not BEHIND Welker - TO Welker. Bah! That would have sealed the deal for a Welker MVP if the Giants couldn't come back.
9:40: Touchdown!!!! Randy Moss!!!! Patriots have the lead!!!!
Patriots 14, Giants 10
9:41: Jackie's reaction to the touchdown: "Yes! This is good!" (She wants the Pats to win to piss off her ex.)
9:42: New England's defense has been so terrible the past three months. Can they muster enough energy to keep Eli off the board?
9:44: Two minute warning. I'm on the edge of my seat. The game's on the line. And... uhhh... Victoria Secret... uhhh... ummm... is there a game on?
9:45: Holy crap it's Donkey Lips!!!!
9:47: Short on third down. Huge play.
9:48: First down, Brandon Jacobs.
9:51: How did Eli do that!?!?! He was almost sacked twice, lobbed it up, and somehow David Tyree grabbed it!! Unbelievable!!
9:53: The Giants are out of timeouts. To me, it's all about whom I want to win a Super Bowl more - Junior Seau or Michael Strahan. I like Seau more, but Strahan winning means Tiki Barber didn't, which is also pretty sweet.
9:55: David Tyree - he's gotta be thinking, "Man, can I catch a normal pass?"
9:56: First down, Giants!
9:57: Plaxico Burress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Giants 17, Patriots 14
10:00: Brady is sacked!!!! Nineteen seconds to go!!!! This is so unreal!
10:01: 18-0 is going down the drain because Bill Belichick forgot to fix his secondary.
10:03: Wow, Moss had a step and Brady missed him by a half a yard. That would have been even crazier than the Tyree catch.
10:04: Eli Manning beats Tom Brady!
10:05: Ugh, just concede the second. C'mon.
10:06: Stupid rule. The opposing coach conceded the game.
10:07: I feel happy for Strahan. He deserves this, especially after going through Tiki's BS for years. And Eli Manning - everyone doubted him, and no one took him seriously. And Tom Coughlin, who was written off by everyone. The Patriots had a huge flaw, and the Giants exposed it, though I guess they have to thank Boller and Feeley for pointing it out.
10:08: The Patriots were lazy. Going into this game, I told everyone I didn't think they were the greatest team of all time. Their defense was horrible. You can't allow 51 combined points to Boller and Feeley, and be considered the best squad ever. Going 2-8 against the spread after Halloween is a joke. New England didn't take any teams seriously down the stretch. Brady was way too busy dating supermodels and walking around in boots. No one was talking about the team's horrendous back seven. And the fact that Belichick didn't sign any corners last offseason was ridiculous. I noted so repeatedly back then.
10:09: Will the Pats be back? I'm not so sure. They're going to have the following mentality: "We should have won the Super Bowl. We were 18-0. Brady got hurt. Eli got lucky. We'll win it next year." No way. The secondary must be fixed. The linebacking corps must be fixed. Depth must be added on the offensive line. I seriously doubt New England will even be in Super Bowl XLIII.
10:10: But this is about the Giants. Congratulations to them. They're awesome. Eli Manning is incredible.
10:11: Thanks for joining me on here and reading my incoherent thoughts. I'll be doing this for the NFL Draft.
Please tell us your source who states that Philip Rivers is playing his last season. He has not said that. His agent hasnt said that. His family hasnt said that. Sports reporters havent said that, the Chargers front office has said that. Where the F*** do you have the right to publish FAKE NEWS??? Type liberal FAKE NEWS slime.