Welcome to my 12th-annual Super Bowl Live Blog. I'll be posting comments like this throughout the evening every few minutes. Keep refreshing this page if you want to check out what I think about the game, announcers, commercials, etc.
3:20: I'm going to try to do another Super Bowl blog this year. I'm in Minnesota, and I will be at a bar, but I'll be able to use my laptop there. I'm just worried about people possibly spilling beer on my laptop, which would suck. At any rate, I'll be back with an update or live blog posts around 6:15. In the meantime, here were the closing entries of last year's blog posts during Tom Brady's inexplicable comeback:
10:20: Great throw and catch to Amendola. Patriots at their own 45.
10:21: Great throw and catch to Hogan. Patriots at the Atlanta 37.
10:22: Great throw and catch to Edelman. Patriots at the Atlanta 25.
10:23: New England is in field-goal range, but the game ends with a touchdown, obviously. James White to the 15!
10:24: Martellus Bennett drops the ball to win the game! But there's pass interference!
10:25: Wow, risky throw to Bennett in the end zone. Vic Beasley almost had it.
10:26: TOUCHDOWN!!! But they have to review it!!!
10:27: It looks like he's in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:28: The Patriots scored, but Gisele dropped her phone!!!! Gisele is going to need a new phone!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!
Patriots 34, Falcons 28
10:29: Wow. What an all-time performance. Tom Brady now has five Super Bowls. He's the greatest of all time.
10:30: Oh!!! Before I forget!!!
My condolences to our resident Foot Locker employee for losing $7 on this game. Hope his mom gives him an allowance to make up for it.
6:17: The live blog is now live! I'm at a Minnesotan bar called Willy McCoy's with Kenny Ortiz, my co-host from the podcast. We were SOOOOO close to going to the actual game. Stub Hub had very cheap prices around 4:30 Eastern, and we decided to pull the trigger - and then we saw that Stub Hub charges $600 per ticket extra on top of what the price is! How much horse s**t is that!?
6:18: I don't have an outlet here, by the way. I may not last the whole game, or I may take halftime off. We'll see.
6:20: Is there really an exclamation point in Pink's name? Can I get a punctuation mark? Maybe like W^lt? How does W^alterFootball.com sound?
6:23: Kenny's friend gave him a call and explained why the Eagles would win. "It's the year of the dog in the Chinese new year, and a girl won a prize in a school this week, and she was wearing green and white." Sounds good to me! If the Eagles prevail, I may use this logic on my NFL Picks page next year.
6:25: The people in Minnesota are so nice. Kenny ran into a Viking fan in the bathroom who wished him good luck. "I was bitter when we lost, but I've gotten over it, so I'd like to wish you the best of luck tonight." If the weather weren't so cold, I'd totally move here.
6:26: New England wins the coin toss, and some people started cheering from the back of the bar. Clearly some savvy bettors who wagered on the coin flip.
6:32: And the game is underway!
6:33: Kind of disappointed by the crowd at Willy McCoy's. More than half the people aren't paying attention to the game, which I guess was par for the course for my former Super Bowl parties.
6:34: First down, Eagles! Alshon Jeffery runs circles around Eric Rowe.
6:35: Huge third-down conversion! Foles to Torrey Smith, and the Eagles are in New England territory. Great hold, I mean block by Jason Kelce.
6:37: Another first down! Jay Ajayi picks it up on the ground. New England's defense looks soft.
6:38: Eagles inside the 5! Kenny's going nuts!
6:39: False start by Zach Ertz. Eagles move back to the 7-yard line with a second-and-goal.
6:41: Eric Rowe gets his revenge with a pass break-up on third down! Eagles have to settle for a field goal because of the false start.
Eagles 3, Patriots 0
6:42: "That's not the Eric Rowe I know and love" - Kenny.
6:45: Ugh. Solo. Rogue One was horrible. How could they only have like 10 minutes of Darth Vader!?
6:49: A couple of big plays, and the Patriots are down to the Philadelphia 27. Great scheming by Josh McDaniels.
6:50: Great tackle by Rodney McLeod to save a Rob Gronkowski touchdown.
6:52: Brady nearly throws an interception. Patriots, like the Eagles, stall inside the 10.
Patriots 3, Eagles 3
6:54: That was a cool commercial where there was a king, and he talked about beer, and he said "Dilly dilly." I've never seen that one before.
6:56: Kenny on the RPO: "Why is it suddenly the RPO? Wasn't it always the option for 100 years? Why call it RPO now?"
6:57: LeGarrette Blount breaks a long run!
6:58: BOOM! Eagles throw a bomb to Alshon Jeffery for a touchdown!
6:59: Some guy with glasses just shouted, "No catch!" Kenny replies: "Shut up! You can't see it!"
7:00: Missed extra point. Whoops.
Eagles 9, Patriots 3
7:03: "Like first class for your feet." Except first class is an overpriced piece of s**t. It's just larger seats and first priority to get off. Whoop dee freaking doo.
7:04: Ugh, and now commercials for the Olympics. The Olympics make me miserable. I'd rather have all the countries compete in science; not sports. Like, first country to cure cancer gets the gold. Who would be opposed to that?
7:07: Holy hell, how was Danny Amendola that wide open? The Eagles are lucky that wasn't a touchdown. "If that were the Vikings, that would've been a touchdown." - some Viking fan near our table. And that's the end of the first quarter.
7:09: Tyrion spitting fire ... is that a sign that Tyrion is a Targaryen!!??!??!?!?!
7:12: Rodney McLeod with another huge tackle! This one in mid-air!
7:13: Wow, holy s**t! The holder screwed up, and the kicker missed. And the coach went for it! I thought the Patriots would go for it on fourth-and-1 with an unstoppable Tom Brady sneak.
7:15: "That must have been the most athletic move Foles has made in his career." - Kenny. So true. How was he not sacked!?
7:18: Why does Hollywood still think Tom Cruise can carry a movie? He's not a lead actor anymore, and your movies are crap.
7:19: Can't wait for This Is Us after the game. There's nothing more appealing than 38-year-olds acting like 12-year-old over-emotional douche bags.
7:20: Good night, Brandin Cooks. He's out.
7:22: I enjoyed Cloverfield so I will be watching that on Netflix. But anyway, Cooks' concussion will definitely hurt, to state the obvious. And Malcolm Jenkins nearly intercepted Brady.
7:24: BRADY DROPS THE BALL, AND THE PEOPLE IN HERE GO NUTS!!!!!
7:25: The Patriots go for it on a deep shot to Gronkowski and fail. I never thought a Brady dropped pass could decide the outcome of this game.
7:26: Stop advertising Diet Coke, Coca Cola. That product is s**t.
7:27: No Malcolm Butler!? What the hell did he do, spill mustard on one of Belichick's precious hoodies?
7:29: Bad throw No. 1 by Foles, overthrowing Alshon Jeffery. That's fewer bad throws than Brady has had tonight.
7:30: And Foles makes it up with a beautiful lob over Stephon Gilmore to Jeffery.
7:31: LeGarrette Blount touchdown run! The Patriots are getting blown out (again)!
7:32: Two-pointer no good.
Eagles 15, Patriots 3
7:35: People always point out Mike Trout like he's famous, but he plays baseball, so who cares?
7:36: Big play to Rex Burkhead. Patriots still have a chance!
7:37: Someone in here with some brilliant analysis: "If he wasn't caught from behind, he would've scored!" Yeah, sure, but he was. So what?
7:38: Patriots manage just a field goal. They're done. Nicky Franchise is unstoppable.
Eagles 15, Patriots 6
7:39: HOLY CRAP, THE TVS JUST TURNED OFF AND EVERYONE PANICKED! Someone started a chant, "Pay your bills! Pay your bills!" Luckily, they turned back on.
7:42: Brandin Cooks is out for the game. That's a huge loss for a struggling New England offense.
7:43: Jay Ajayi with a huge pick-up on third down! This New England defense sucks a**.
7:44: Oh wow! Interception! Jeffery tips the pass twice and it goes into the arms of the Patriots. This could be the turning point. Or, it could just lead to more New England disappointment.
7:48: Late flag on the Eagles. The Patriots could control the ball now enough to have two possessions in a row.
7:49: This guy with the glasses is so annoying. "Fiiirst dooown!" Yeah, we know, a**hole.
7:51: Brady with a bomb to Hogan! Patriots are near the red zone.
7:52: The Patriots are back in business! James White runs into the end zone with the help of a minor, uncalled hold. And the extra point is no good! Unreal!
Eagles 15, Patriots 12
7:53: These people are so scarred. Some old lady just said, "That's like the Vikings kicker." Uhh... which one!?
7:58: Corey Clement down to the Patriots' 8-yard line! Nick Foles is on pace for 430 yards.
8:02: Eagles going for it on fourth down! Questionable non-call on what could've been pass interference.
8:03: Touchdown! Nick Foles catches a pass on a trick play, proving that he is the better receiving quarterback in this matchup!
Eagles 22, Patriots 12
8:06: Brady almost throws an interception. Dropped.
8:09: Kenny and I were talking about why Brady slipped to the sixth round. "I'm not gay, but if I could've given him a blow job to get him on the Eagles, I would've done it." - Kenny. My response: "Yeah, just go 'no homo, no homo' when doing it."
8:10: And that's halftime! I'm going to close my laptop to converse power. I'm at 56% remaining, so we're cutting it close!
8:41: And we're back! Brady misses Gronkowski, wide open. He's done. Put a fork in him!
8:42: Some thoughts on the halftime show: It was lackluster. Justin Timberlake said there would be a jaw-dropping moment, and there wasn't one. Unless you count the time where he began lip singing, or the time he began pretending to play the piano. Or was it when Minnesota lit up purple? I hope that helped clean up the unplowed streets of Minneapolis.
8:45: Brady is locked in on Gronk right now. Desperation mode.
8:46: And the Patriots score super quickly. I guess Brady's not done...?
Eagles 22, Patriots 19
8:48: The laptop is now at 52% and dropping. I don't know if we're going to make it, especially if this game goes to overtime.
8:51: A horrible drop by Nelson Agholor, but he makes up for it by eluding a tackle and picking up a first down!
8:55: I hate the decision to sit Malcolm Butler. OK, if he spilled something on a Belichick hoodie, maybe you sit him for a drive or two, but how can you keep him out?
8:59: Corey Clement catches a touchdown! But his foot might be out of bounds! Kenny's having an emotional breakdown!
9:00: None of the Viking fans in here think it's a touchdown. Then again, they've been incredibly biased toward the Patriots. So much for Minnesotans being nice people!
9:02: Wooowww... the play stands. I can't believe it.
Eagles 29, Patriots 19
9:07: There are now six penalties on the Eagles compared to one on the Patriots. "This game's fixed," a Viking fan just told me. Well, if it's fixed for the Patriots, the refs aren't doing that great of a job!
9:10: Right down the field, second time in a row. Philadelphia's defense is gassed. Or the fix is really in.
Eagles 29, Patriots 26
9:11: The game is over the total!
9:17: There's some drama going on at the table with the douche with glasses. Some lady just started yelling at him: "How dare you say that to him!? That was weird! You're weird!"
9:18: Some guy just started yelling at Douche With Glasses: "You're not an idiot. Stop being an idiot!"
9:19: The first lady: "No one cares what you have to say!" Douche With Glasses Doesn't Care: "Me me me me me me!" What the f**k are these idiots arguing about?
9:20: A super hot waitress with blond pigtails and glasses just had to break up the fight, and half the people left. Another lady just began yelling: "I would not have said this in front of my children."
9:21: R.I.P. 33-yard field goal prop. But there's a flag! Wait, never mind.
Eagles 32, Patriots 26
9:26: Kenny just asked me if I'm going to write about the incident at the other table. "I'm already on it," I tell him.
9:27: The first lady just approached Douche With Glasses again. "Go home! Go home!" He turned and said "I'm a robot!" and did a robotic move of some sort. What the f*** is going on here?
9:28: Just a PSA that the Patriots are +128 at Matchbook.
9:29: Some guy just knocked over my mouse, and another guy from the crazy table ran over to help me. That was cool of him. My faith in Minnesotans is restored!
9:32: Clutch conversion to Amendola! Who would've thunk it?
9:34: James White just threw the ball to the ref, and the ref dropped it. He looked like Brady on that one play. I guess they have the same receiving rating on Madden.
9:35: Holy f***ing s**t, what a catch by Gronkowski. Everyone in here is going nuts. The Patriots have the lead.
Patriots 33, Eagles 32
9:38: An update on the crazy table: Douche With Glasses is gone. And... holy crap, some lady just fell out of her chair! This is insane. What is going on over there?
9:40: Two minutes later, and they finally got the woman up. I was scared for a second that this was some sort of medical emergency. Jeez.
9:41: Patriots waste an uncharacteristic timeout. Weird. But it's a big third-and-6.
9:42: And the timeout was indeed wasted. Foles to Ertz conversion. Great play. Nick Foles made himself a ton of money.
9:43: Douche With Glasses has returned. "I'm baaack!" Everyone groaned and then went, "Heeeyyy..."
9:44: Foles is 9-of-12 for 158 yards and a touchdown on third down. Gross. But the Patriots stop them. The Eagles should go for it.
9:45: Gotta go for it. You can't give the ball back to Brady.
9:45: Converts! Foles is unreal!
9:46: And now the Eagles waste a timeout. Oh man, this is intense. Kenny's pacing back and forth, and I'm sweating my damn props.
9:49: Foles with another big first down! Teams are lining up to offer second-round picks to the Eagles.
9:50: Nelson Agholor, down to the 25! My battery, down to 28%!
9:52: Where is Malcolm Butler? Do you think Belichick sat him because he wanted to play this Super Bowl on Hard Mode?
9:54: Eagles now inside the red zone! Kenny's calling for a screen play, which the Eagles haven't run all game.
9:57: Some people are yelling "no touchdown!" Kenny's response: "Shut up if you don't know the rules!"
9:58: I think that's a touchdown. It looked like the ball hit his palm, and he took two steps and made a football move.
9:59: Touchdown stands! Eagles have the lead with 2:21 remaining!
10:00: Two-pointer no good.
Eagles 38, Patriots 33
10:01: Just read a funny tweet: "If this call is overturned, the Eagle fans will burn down Minneapolis. #SaveMinneapolis"
10:02: BRADY STRIP-SACKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:03: Brandon Graham with the strip-sack. Derek Barnett picks it up. And my hand is broken because Kenny high-fived it so hard.
10:04: It's the 2-minute warning! That means it's TV time. They're giving away a TV to people who ordered Coors Light tonight. We bought like 12 of them so we better win.
10:07: Ticket No. 522924. None of our tickets say this. F***ing bulls**t.
10:08: Field goal coming up to give Brady another chance.
10:09: The kick is good, but Brady is still alive with 65 seconds.
Eagles 41, Patriots 33
10:11: Wow, an end-around on the kickoff. Ninety-one yards to go.
10:14: Brady converts the fourth down but there's almost no time left! Twenty-six seconds to go!
10:15: Sixty-seven yards and 20 seconds to go.
10:16: Gronk, second time in a row. Fifty-one yards and 13 seconds to go.
10:19: EAGLES WIN! EAGLES WIN! EAGLES WIN!
10:20: Wow, what an amazing game. The most yards ever. A thrilling back and forth. A fight at the other table. Amazing.
10:22: Kenny's on the ground, and people are asking him if he's OK. A cool Minnesotan came over to congratulate him. I've never seen anyone so happy, and I've never seen a team overcome so much. Incredible.
10:25: I had a 35:1 prop on the Eagles to win the Super Bowl, but I can't believe Nick Foles won a Super Bowl. It's unreal. He was so horrible in St. Louis. He looked like he didn't belong in the NFL, and he agreed because he thought about retiring. And yet, he had one of the best performances of any quarterback in Super Bowl history. This is absolutely crazy.
10:33: Argh. It was fun to do this from a bar, but they turned the music on, and we can't hear the awards ceremony. So, I can't make fun of anyone or anything being said. With that in mind, I'm going to have the Super Bowl LII Recap at some point tonight. In the meantime, you can check out our 2017 NFL Mock Draft, 2019 NFL Mock Draft and 2020 NFL Mock Draft here. Thanks for reading my incoherent thoughts throughout this amazing Super Bowl!