Washington Redskins 24, Chicago Bears 16:
I never thought I'd say this, but not having Rex Grossman sucked for the Bears. He opened the game 2-of-6 for 14 yards, but his incompletions can be attributed to drops and wrong routes. Brian Griese played well in the fourth quarter, excluding his trips to the end zone, but he tossed two critical interceptions to Shawn Springs. I'd joke around and suggest that Griese thought Springs was his teammate, but it's really obvious that he's one of the suckiest quarterbacks in the NFL.

Both Grossman and Jason Campbell left the game with what looked like season-ending knee injuries. It's a shame because they were playing so well going into this contest. The Redskins were semi-fortunate, however, as Tom Collins, their backup signal-caller performed admirably, going 15-of-20 for 224 yards and two touchdowns.

Wait, did I say Tom Collins? I meant Todd Collins. Yeah, Tom Collins tossed two touchdowns. For those of you who aren't alcoholics, a Tom Collins is a beverage with gin, club soda and Sours Mix. Good stuff - tastes like carbonated lemonade. So, anyway, my bad. I meant to say Tom Collins threw a pair of scores.

At first glance, the 16 called penalties looks like it could be attributed to incompetent referee Jerome Boger, who completely botched the Browns-Cardinals contest last week. However, I'll let him slide this time; many of the calls he made were of the pre-snap variety. The Bears could have won this game if they didn't commit so many procedure infractions. Chicago had a total of seven false-start, illegal-motion and delay-of-game penalties. How can a team be that unfocused? Perhaps when Todd Collins came in, the players were excited about the prospect of drinking a Tom Collins or 10 after the game.

Buffalo Bills 38, Miami Dolphins 17:
I felt sorry for Miami. I wanted the team to win a game. In the wake of seeing all of Randy Mueller's draft picks and acquisitions screw up a possible first victory, I'm all for 0-16. I hope it happens. An organization who hires incompetent men like Mueller and Cam Cameron that deserves it. Let's review what happened on Sunday:

Mueller utilized the ninth overall pick on a return specialist. Seemed dumb back then, and it's killing them right now. Ginn muffed a punt early in the first quarter, setting up an easy touchdown for the Bills. Ginn had four catches for 67 yards - his best performance of the season. Awesome.

Mueller's second selection, quarterback John Beck, had two passing yards, two sacks and a fumble, which was returned for a touchdown by the Bills, all in the first quarter. Once again, I acknowledge this is a bit early to say this, but Beck looks like a bust. He hasn't started many games, but just look at the man who drafted him.

Scott Fujita, another Mueller acquisition, committed a crucial 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty on a drive after Miami's first touchdown. Instead of forcing a punt, Fujita allowed the Bills to convert a field goal.

Mueller failed to upgrade Miami's secondary. In the first quarter, Trent Edwards had 28- and 13-yard passes to Robert Royal, and 16- and 12-yard completions to Josh Reed. This isn't Tom Brady to Randy Moss, or Peyton Manning to Marvin Harrison we're talking about here.

Mueller also failed to add some youth to Miami's front seven. His defense consequently surrendered 222 rushing yards to Marshawn Lynch and Fred Jackson.

To make a long story more boring, if the Dolphins wish to ever win more than five games in a single season ever again, they must rid themselves of a general manager who can't read talent, and a coach so incompetent he can't coach the final preseason game of the year because he's too busy deciding whom to cut.

Jacksonville Jaguars 37, Carolina Panthers 6:
I'd fault the Panthers' defense for looking as crappy as usual because it seemed like the Jaguars were gaining 15 yards on every single play, but Jacksonville's offense has been doing this to inferior competition all year. This is much different than how it has played in seasons past, as the Jaguars would always be flat after playing a tough opponent.

Still, let's talk about Carolina's stop unit for a second. What happened to them? Seriously - they used to be so good. Now, they can't get any sacks or stop anyone on third downs. Jacksonville was 9-of-17 on third-down conversions, killing the Panthers in that category (2-of-12). That would explain how the Jaguars won time of possession, 38:58-21:02.

More ineptness: Carolina once again failed to register a sack, keeping its mark of 16 static. Julius Peppers managed a grand total of two sacks. I'd call him a dog, but he's really a Panther. Zing!

Dallas Cowboys 28, Detroit Lions 27:
I moved the Cowboys ahead of the Patriots in my Power Rankings, only to watch the Lions take a 7-0 lead on a 32-yard T.J. Duckett touchdown. How did this happen? Not only does Detroit never run the ball, I don't think Duckett's moved 32 total yards this decade, except when he drives to McDonald's to pick up a dozen cheeseburgers.

Unfortunately, the Lions didn't stop scoring; at one point, they were up 27-14. I'm an idiot for picking the Cowboys this week; the game meant nothing to them, while Detroit was playing for its postseason life, despite looking dead the past month.

With that in mind, don't take anything out of Dallas' struggle against the Lions, other than the fact that Wade Phillips' team was lazy this week and simply didn't care about Jon Kitna's trash-talking. If this contest were meaningful to the Cowboys, I'd obviously be more critical.

A word on the Lions. I can't see them recovering from this loss. They blew a 13-point lead against a team that was aloof and unfocused. There's no way they win next week, as they'll be mulling over this last-second defeat for days. At 6-8, they won't have a shot at the postseason, given how hot the Vikings are.

New York Giants 16, Philadelphia Eagles 13:
I wrote this in my forum, but the Eagles really suck. Sunday's contest meant NOTHING to the Giants. NOTHING. They were basically locked into the 5-seed. The Eagles had everything to play for, and ever since establishing a 7-0 lead, they didn't do anything, eventually losing by a field goal.

I love how FOX gave the middle finger to Philly fans. Immediately following David Akers' missed 57-yard, game-tying kick, which hit the right upright, FOX switched to the Cowboys game, where Tony Romo immediately threw a game-winning touchdown to Jason Witten.

Looking at the glass half-full, at least the Eagles played with some vigor. They came out on fire - scoring on their opening drive and holding the Giants to a 3-and-out. That wasn't shocking to me because as I mentioned above, New York had nothing to play for. And besides, I figured Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin were about to experience another loss in their patented second-half swoon.

Andy Reid nearly got fired on the spot if it was up to the fans. He went for it on 4th-and-1 on his own 35 just eight minutes into the game. Even though Donovan McNabb converted on the sneak, the move didn't make sense to me. Philadelphia punted a few plays later.

Why do the Eagles continuously throw the ball on 3rd-and-1, and run it on 3rd-and-6? I swear, sometimes it seems like the big multi-colored sheet Andy Reid is holding is a restaurant menu.

Green Bay Packers 38, Oakland Raiders 7:
I was ready to criticize Brett Favre for coming back too soon. In fact, I already had written, "Favre opened the game 3-of-6 for 29 yards and a pick in the red zone. Was he still hurt? I don't know, but his consecutive-games streak hindered Green Bay's efforts against the Raiders."

Oops. From that point, Favre was 12-of-19 for 237 yards and two touchdowns. As Chris Berman would say, "That's why they play... the entire game."

Typical Raiders: Offensive pass interference and holding ruined a drive after Green Bay scored the opening touchdown of the game. The poor field position Oakland was in set up a short punt, which was returned by Will Blackmon. Blackmon later took a fumble into the end zone for another score.

Josh McClown started the game 2-of-6 for nine yards and an interception. Where was JaMarcus Russell? What is the point in starting McCown? (On a side note, I honestly typed McClown instead of McCown, but decided to keep the spelling because it amused me.) McCown was eventually benched in favor of Andrew Walter. Not Russell; Andrew Walter. Last week, I joked Oakland planned on giving Jeff George another shot before inserting Russell into the lineup. Well, don't be surprised if that actually happens because it seems like the Raiders are willing to go with anyone not named JaMarcus Russell at quarterback. Who knows, maybe Al Davis' Alzheimer's is making him forget that he drafted Russell.

San Diego Chargers 23, Tennessee Titans 17:
I just don't know what to say anymore. You handicap a game perfectly. The Chargers are flat because they don't need a victory. With Albert Haynesworth back in the lineup, LaDainian Tomlinson can't get anything on the ground. The Titans, playing with fire, have a 17-3 lead, forcing Philip Rivers into two turnovers. In fact, the first six plays for San Diego were four carries and five yards for Tomlinson, a sack and a Rivers pick...

...And then the Chargers inexplicably come back from a 14-point, fourth-quarter deficit for the first time in franchise history. Rivers plays well for one of the few times this year, finishing with 228 yards. It's just so frustrating when you have a 5-unit play in the bag and then lose it like this. I have nothing more to say here.

Oh, yes I do... Tennessee's defense sucks. And what's even worse is Titans management. Why in the world would you draft a quarterback with the No. 3 overall pick and not provide him with solid receivers? Seriously, something like this makes Randy Mueller look like a genius. Everyone in Tennessee's front office should be fired.

Cincinnati Bengals 19, St. Louis Rams 10:
For anyone who bet Cincinnati toward the end of the week and had to take 9.5 or 10 instead of seven, I'm sorry. The Bengals' only touchdown came on a Carson Palmer pick-six, meaning the score should have been 19-3.

I'm not going to dwell too much on this contest; I have no idea how Carson Palmer threw for just 189 yards and two picks against the defensively challenged Rams, though it should be noted that because the Bengals are out of the playoff hunt, he and his receivers didn't have much to play for.

I have a funny story concerning this game that I'll share during my Week 15 picks. I'm not going to waste it on a summary of a contest no one has interest in.

Houston Texans 28, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 14:
Another week of mass suicides for people betting against the McCown brothers? Well, things looked bleak for the gambling population when Luke started the game 8-of-8 for 63 yards, but even though he finished 25-of-38 for 266 yards, the Buccaneers lost by two touchdowns. Don't worry suicide-hotline workers, you're bound to have an easy night.

Andre Davis returned the opening kickoff in the second half for a touchdown, giving the Texans a 21-7 lead. The significance of this? The Buccaneers, as their fans very well know, have never scored a touchdown on a kickoff in franchise history. I find it funny that an expansion team easily got one, while a franchise that has been around since 1976 has never accomplished that feat.

Someone on the forum asked if Ron Dayne suffered an injury because Darius Walker was getting all the touches for the Texans. I had no idea, so I replied that Dayne left the game because he was hungry. Sounds like a valid guess to me.

Seattle Seahawks 42, Arizona Cardinals 21:
Hey, didn't someone write that the Cardinals have played within eight points in every single game this year, with the exception of the contest that an injured Kurt Warner had to be replaced by Tim Rattay? Who was the idiot who rationalized this was the reason Arizona would be competitive with Seattle? Hmmm...

I wouldn't count the Seahawks out of the Super Bowl race. Everyone's talking about the Cowboys and the Packers, but Seattle is the only team whose current corps of players has a playoff victory. Matt Hasselbeck is playing out of his mind right now. The lack of a running game is an issue, but experience means a ton in the postseason.

Minnesota Vikings 27, San Francisco 49ers 7:
The Vikings are awesome. This may seem obvious and a bit unwarranted after a victory over what could be the worst team in the NFL, but consider this: Minnesota held a 20-0 lead despite the fact that Chester Taylor and Adrian Peterson had just 16 yards on 10 carries. A month ago, the Vikings would have been trailing with those numbers. But the defense has improved and Tarvaris Jackson has matured more than anyone expected.

As for the 49ers? Well... I'll mention something I wrote last week: "One final note. I don't want to see Trent Dilfer starting another NFL game ever again. There's no excuse for committing five turnovers (four picks and a fumble) against a very porous defense. I'd rather see the 49ers give Ken Dorsey or Jim Druckenmiller another shot before Dilfer."

It shouldn't be a surprise that Dilfer's first pass was picked off for a touchdown. He finished 7-of-19, 45 yards, an interception and a fumble. Mike Nolan finally decided to replace him with Shaun Hill, a move that's about six weeks too late. Hill was actually decent, going 22-of-28, 181 yards, one touchdown and a pick. But compared to Dilfer, any quarterback would look like a Pro Bowler.

Cleveland Browns 24, New York Jets 18:
As if seeing my Titans 5-unit play inexplicably go down in flames was bad enough, I had to watch the Jets blow opportunity after opportunity. New York had a first-and-goal on the 1-yard line, but couldn't come up with any points because Kellen Clemens threw an interception. Later, at the end of the half, the Jets squandered a chance to get a touchdown because they wasted too much time, forcing them to settle for a field goal.

In the fourth quarter, Clemens threw a pick at midfield on 2nd-and-5, setting up a Browns field goal. The Jets finally got into the end zone with three minutes remaining in regulation, but couldn't nail the 2-point conversion. If it weren't for the aforementioned interception and field goal, the two points would have been meaningless, as far as the spread was concerned.

And guess what? Despite everything I wrote, the Jets trimmed the lead down to less than a field goal, 17-15, with less than two minutes remaining in regulation. It figures that the Browns scored a spread-killing touchdown on a 31-yard run by Jamal Lewis because Eric Mangini attempted an onside kick despite having three timeouts in his back pocket. The Jets later drove down deep into Cleveland territory, but settled for a field goal on first down to trim the deficit down to 24-18, instead of going for the end zone three times. I don't get it.

Like I said in my Titans-Chargers capsule, I just don't know what to say anymore.

Denver Broncos 41, Kansas City 7:
Identity crisis, much? Coming into this game, the Broncos were horrendous as a favorite and completely inept against the run. The Chiefs, meanwhile, thrived on the road and excelled defending the pass. Well, Denver clobbered Kansas City, thanks to its stop unit putting the clamps on the upstart Kolby Smith to 12 rushing yards. The Chiefs, on the other hand, couldn't contain Jay Cutler, who threw almost as many touchdowns (4) as incompletions (7).

Cutler received support from Selvin Young, who rushed for 144 yards in the first half. At one point, I thought he was going to break Adrian Peterson's single-game record of 296, which probably would have forced Herm Edwards into an early retirement comprised of running fashion shows every week.

New England Patriots 34, Pittsburgh Steelers 13:
Who is Anthony Smith, and why is he predicting victories as if he were Joe Namath? I'd be OK with Ben Roethlisberger or Hines Ward guaranteeing a win over a 12-0 squad. But Anthony Smith? Didn't this guy play for Jim Mora's clone in Syracuse a few years ago? Any Orange Man football player in the post-Donovan McNabb era has no credibility in any facet of life. None whatsoever.

I'll never understand how the Patriots nearly lost to the Ravens and Eagles, and managed to destroy the Steelers. I can't argue with anyone, including my dad, who claims New England's two close calls were fixed.

Tom Brady tossed four touchdowns Sunday afternoon, increasing his total to 45. He's now four short of Peyton Manning's single-season record. Brady is on pace to throw 55 scores.

More importantly, all New England has left are the Jets, Dolphins and Giants in its quest to go 16-0. Not much of a challenge, assuming the latter rests its starters the final week of the season.

Indianapolis Colts 44, Baltimore Ravens 20:
One of the few things I got right this week was correctly predicting that the Ravens would be gassed following their "Super Bowl" against the Patriots. Baltimore did way too much yapping this week and consequently was unfocused for the Colts, trailing 44-7 at one point in the third quarter.

One of the many reasons Indianapolis had the luxury of pulling Peyton Manning in the third quarter was that Kyle Boller was 5-of-8 for 19 yards and two interceptions at halftime. What a great quarterback. I can see why Brian Billick wants to have his child.

In all seriousness, where is Troy Smith? Shouldn't the Ravens find out if they have anything before spending a high draft pick on a signal caller? If you don't agree with that strategy, I have two words for you: Derek Anderson.

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