Dallas Cowboys 37, Green Bay Packers 27:
I can't believe how weird this game turned out. Who would have thought that Brett Favre would revert to 2004-2006 form and carelessly fling the ball downfield and eventually get hurt because of that, only to have Aaron Rodgers come in and play better than the league's all-time passing touchdowns leader? Favre finished a meager 5-of-14 for 56 yards and two interceptions, while Rodgers was 18-of-26, 201 yards and score. In fact, Rodgers completed 11 consecutive passes at one point.

It's an understatement that Charles Woodson and Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila were missed. Green Bay's defense just couldn't keep the Cowboys off the scoreboard. Tony Romo was allowed to convert 4-of-9 third downs, including a 3rd-and-19 on his own 11.

I have to say that there were a lot of shady calls tonight. A pass interference against the Packers, in which the players just tripped over each other, set up a Cowboys touchdown. In the first quarter, Al Harris clearly took the ball away from Terrell Owens inbounds, but was denied possession. An onsides kick attempt was thwarted because it apparently grazed a Green Bay player. In all, the Packers were whistled for 142 yards in penalties. It was very clear whom the officials were favoring.

But for the five million American viewers who didn't get to see this game, I have to emphasize how poorly Favre played. He looked scared. He was just throwing bombs downfield to no one in particular. If he hadn't left the game, Dallas would have won by 30. He began pressing the issue when his team was down 6-3. There was just no reason for it. I'm completely baffled as to why he reverted to 2004-2006 form.

Indianapolis Colts 28, Jacksonville Jaguars 25:
Have I ever talked about how much I hate the NFL's TV deal? I was looking forward to watching the Jaguars battle the Colts. So, when the clock struck one, I turned to CBS, only to see two old women bickering about how much flower to put into their cake mix. No dice. I wouldn't be able to watch Indianapolis-Jacksonville, as the game was blacked out in my area because FOX was broadcasting a boring Eagles-Seahawks matchup. Awesome. Once again, the NFL finds a way to screw its fans. I'll never understand why the league concocted a contract where both CBS and FOX can't televise two games every Sunday.

Listen to what Jaguars defensive end Paul Spicer said during the week: "When [Peyton Manning] gets happy feet, he's a below-average quarterback." When I heard this on Sunday NFL Countdown (or NFL Sunday Countdown if you're Keyshawn Johnson), I became enraged, thinking my 4-Unit pick was in jeopardy. I slammed my fist on my desk in disgust, shattering all of the bones in my hand. How am I typing right now? Well, if Jon Kitna can miraculously heal from a concussion in an hour, I think my bones can pull a Claire Bennet and regenerate themselves, damn it!

Anyway, back to my point. Spicer's an idiot. Why would you give your biggest rival bulletin board material like that? Flash forward to the end of the first half, when the Colts had a first-and-goal at the one. They lost three yards on the first play. Offensive pass interference moved Indianapolis back 10 yards. An incomplete pass brought up third down immediately after that. So, with third-and-goal at the 14, Manning threw a touchdown to Dallas Clark. Nice happy feat, Spicer.

The Jaguars had a great shot to win this game. They had more net yards (411) than the Colts (342). They won time of possession, 35:45-24:15. What killed them were dumb penalties; they were whistled for eight calls, as opposed to Indianapolis' two. In fact, Jacksonville was penalized for false starts on the first play on each of its first two drives. And I can't believe Jack Del Rio eschewed an onsides kick with less than three minutes remaining in regulation, when he watched his defense struggle against the happy-footed Manning all afternoon. The Colts easily ran out the clock.

David Garrard has been brilliant all year, but he can be blamed for this loss as well, despite completing 24-of-29 passes for 257 yards. Garrard, who had no picks on the season going into this game, fumbled on Jacksonville's first drive, setting the Colts up inside their red zone for a touchdown. Garrard later threw his first interception in Indianapolis' end zone. Still, kudos to Garrard, who had the second-most pass attempts (230) to start a season without a pick (Bernie Kosar).

Buffalo Bills 17, Washington Redskins 16:
I don't want to type anything here. The Redskins stunk it up today, but if I write anything negative, I'll sound callous. Well, that's probably what I'm best at, so screw it. Here we go.

The Redskins started the game with 10 men on defense to honor Sean Taylor, which I thought was a great gesture. Sure, Frisman Jackson (who?) scampered for a 22-yard run, but who cares? It didn't lead to any points. Well, Washington looked like it was playing with only 10 men the entire afternoon. They failed to sack rookie quarterback Trent Edwards. Again, they had ZERO SACKS. Edwards consequently was 22-of-36 for 257 yards.

But the Bills scored just 17 points, so I have to blame the Redskins' offense for being completely inept. It started ugly, when they couldn't score a touchdown despite having the ball thrice inside Buffalo's 10-yard line in the first half. In the second quarter, Jason Campbell took a safety. In the third, Campbell committed a fumble and interception in his own territory.

The offensive line also let everyone down. Despite facing a Bills squad ranked near the bottom against the run, Clinton Portis was limited to just 50 yards on 25 carries.

And of course, Joe Gibbs gave the Bills 15 extra yards on their field goal attempt because he called two timeouts in a row, which is an unsportsmanlike personal foul.

Again, this is callous, but I'm really disappointed in Washington's performance. Not only did they lose to mediocre squad with Sean Taylor watching down on them, they spoiled a chance to obtain a stranglehold on the final NFC wildcard spot.

I think what I'm trying to say is what forum-poster Phil wrote on the message board: "The Washington Redskins should be absolutely embarrassed for losing today to the Bills; it has nothing to do with the fact that they were playing the Bills though. If you can't get up for the game after one of your players is killed, what can you get up for? I am absolutely shocked they came out as the "same old Redskins" for this game.

St. Louis Rams 28, Atlanta Falcons 16:
I think I have the Rams figured out. I'm pretty sure their goal is trying to look impressive in the first half to build momentum for 2008, and intentionally lose the lead in the second half so they can preserve their top-three draft pick. Fortunately for the integrity of the NFL, the Falcons suck so much that they couldn't score the go-ahead touchdown with two minutes remaining in the fourth quarter.

I'm not going to spend much more energy on this contest. Joey Harrington was benched after going 17-of-34, 184 yards and a pick. Chris Redman stepped in and actually looked good (16-of-24, 172 yards, two touchdowns and an interception.) Don't be fooled, however. Redman was once a quarterback for Brian Billick in Baltimore, which automatically means that he sucks.

Minnesota Vikings 42, Detroit Lions 10:
Don't blame Jon Kitna for Detroit's loss to the Vikings; as of the two-minute warning at the end of the first half, he was 15-of-20 for 149 yards and a touchdown. Sounds solid, right? Well, the Lions were trailing at that juncture, 28-10. The defense looked pathetic, surrendering 35 points in the first half to an offense without a quarterback. The ground game, meanwhile, was non-existent; Mike Martz called only two runs in the first 30 minutes of the contest. That's great, Martz. Way to kill your quarterback. I already revealed that Martz is secretly hoping for Kitna's kidneys and liver to pop out on the football field so he can sell them on the black market. Poor Martz hasn't been able to do that just yet, but at this point, I think he will by Week 15.

To emphasize how porous Detroit's defense was on Sunday, it allowed Tarvaris Jackson to throw for 200 yards for the first time this season. It also surrendered a 15-yard run on a 3rd-and-14 on Minnesota's first drive. I'm typing this out wholly right now, but at the beginning of the contest, I jotted down, "Lions D allows 15-yard run on third down on first Minny drive." Minny drive? Minnie Driver? Coincidence? Yeah, I'm losing it. Too much typing.

Tennessee Titans 28, Houston Texans 20:
I thought Albert Haynesworth starting the game would make the Titans unfocused, and my belief was somewhat validated when the Texans scored a touchdown on their first drive. Unfortunately, Matt Schaub had to leave the contest in the first quarter with an injury, and Jacoby Jones' muffed punt set up the Titans for the score that put the game away.

I really feel sorry for the city of Houston because its team is snake-bitten. First, they lose Andre Johnson for half the season. Now, Schaub could be out with a shoulder injury. On the bright side, Mario Williams had a great game, garnering 2.5 sacks against a very elusive quarterback.

Vince Young was only 21-of-31 for 248 yards, two touchdowns and a pick. Wow, those are horrible numbers. I guess he really sucks because he can't throw. Terrible. Why did the Titans draft him? Their record is only 7-5! That's almost as bad as Miami's 0-11 mark!

New York Jets 40, Miami Dolphins 13:
I can't figure John Beck out. In his first career start against the Eagles, I didn't see anything special out of him, almost calling him a bust because of Randy Mueller's track record. The following week, Beck looked solid at Pittsburgh, despite not putting any points on the board. He hung in against one of the elite defenses in the NFL and didn't turn the ball over. However, I'm starting to think I was right two weeks ago. Against the Jets of all defenses, Beck had three fumbles and three interceptions. I hope Beck isn't studying film of Rex Grossman.

Kellen Clemens, meanwhile, threw for 236 yards. He helped his team convert three first downs on the first drive of the game, which resulted in a touchdown. The Jets were 10-of-18 on third down. Can't say I'm surprised - the average age of all of the players on Miami's defense is 83.

Congratulations to Thomas Jones, who scored his first touchdown since Super Bowl XLI. Awesome job.

San Diego Chargers 24, Kansas City Chiefs 10:
It's hard to complain too much about Norv Turner and Philip Rivers because they won by two touchdowns, but the latter started 2-of-6 for 35 yards and a pick, when the game was still in question. Something I don't get is why Antonio Gates had just one catch, compared to Brandon Manumaleuna, who had a pair.

That said, give Turner credit for finally realizing that giving the ball to Tomlinson pays off. Tomlinson had 26 touches, 10 more than the amount of carries he had against the Chiefs when San Diego lost to them in early October. Well, it took Turner a while, but he finally came around. I guess I shouldn't be so critical of him. I bet there are plenty of people who take three months to realize that a guy who recently won the MVP should get the football.

Seattle Seahawks 28, Philadelphia Eagles 24:
Everyone on Sunday NFL Countdown (or NFL Sunday Countdown if you're Keyshawn Johnson) stated that Donovan McNabb should remain the Eagles' starting quarterback. One of the analysts - I think it was Steve Young - said, "With Shaun Alexander back, the Seahawks are a legitimate threat in the NFC."

I was ready to bash everyone, arguing that Donovan McNabb lacks accuracy, mobility, a quick release and leadership. I thought A.J. Feeley was a better fit for the Eagles' West Coast Offense. I've also stated repeatedly that Alexander is a bum. Well, I felt pretty dumb when Feeley threw a pick on his first pass, and Alexander scored a touchdown in the first quarter. Feeley finished with four interceptions, as he carelessly tossed the ball into double coverage all afternoon. Alexander, meanwhile, didn't do much afterward, so at least I'm batting .500.

That said, it's hard to blame Feeley for everything. The Eagles' play-calling was horrendous; they had more passes than runs in the first quarter despite the rain, sleet, snow and hail that was coming down. Feeley finished the game with 42 pass attempts. It actually makes me think that Andy Reid may have sabotaged the gameplan, just so columnists wouldn't state that Feeley should be the quarterback because his play-calling is better with him in the lineup.

Coming into this game, the Seahawks had outscored the Eagles 80-0 the past two times they've visited Philadelphia. What's up with that? I'd suspect Mike Holmgren of eating Andy Reid's cheese steaks, leaving the latter delirious (which would explain the horrid play-calling, by the way). However, Reid was only present for one of those blowouts. The other occurred under the beleaguered Ray Rhodes.

Carolina Panthers 31, San Francisco 49ers 14:
The 49ers are so awesome they set tons of futility marks every single week. This time, they gave Carolina its first home victory in a calendar year, and its first win and cover since Week 6. The Panthers also managed six sacks despite having only 10 coming into the game.

Oh, and I almost forgot San Francisco's six turnovers and 22 minutes of possession. How did this team beat the Cardinals?

One final note. I don't want to see Trent Dilfer starting another NFL game ever again. There's no excuse for committing five turnovers (four picks and a fumble) against a very porous defense. I'd rather see the 49ers give Ken Dorsey or Jim Druckenmiller another shot before Dilfer.

Arizona Cardinals 27, Cleveland Browns 21:
If you didn't catch this contest, you missed one of the worst-officiated games of all time. Jerome Boger, the referee, was so bad that CBS color commentator Dan Dierdorf nearly had an on-the-air aneurysm in the wake of complaining about him so much.

First of all, there were far too many blown whistles, as the Cardinals and Browns combined for 21 penalties. Secondly, Boger completely botched two challenges that seemed to screw the Cardinals. This is where Dierdorf's aneurysm plays in, just in case you were wondering. And most importantly, Boger forgot that when a receiver is pushed out of bounds in mid-air, he's supposed to be credited with a catch. I'm referring to Kellen Winslow Jr.'s last-second touchdown grab, which was ruled incomplete, even though it was extremely evident that he would have landed in bounds if he wasn't pushed out.

The NFL's the great game in the world. It shouldn't be spoiled by an incompetent and clueless official who has no idea what he's doing. And this isn't an isolated incident; if you search for Boger on Wikipedia, you'll see a picture of Bill Cowher yelling and spitting at him.

Oakland Raiders 34, Denver Broncos 20:
The Raiders planned for JaMarcus Russell to start this game, but according to Chris Mortensen, they chose to stick with Daunte Culpepper because he played well in a road victory against the Chiefs. Yeah, that's smart - hinder your young quarterback's future and destroy your team's chances of winning in 2008 because you want to see the King of Fumbles play another week. Does Oakland not know what it's going to get out of Culpepper? A solid performance once about every six weeks, and about three million fumbles the other five Sundays. Maybe this is why the Raiders haven't made the playoffs in half a decade. The way they're going, they're going to give Jeff George another shot before making the switch to Russell.

But in another error by ESPN this weekend - Les Miles to Michigan, in case you missed it - Josh McCown started for the Raiders; not Culpepper. Although McCown performed well (14-of-21, 141 yards and three touchdowns), I'm not sure if I saw the point in Russell not playing for more than a couple of drives. It's not like McCown's going to be the guy in 2008. Oakland needs to get Russell ready. In limited action, Russell was 4-of-7 for 56 yards. He did, however, fumble in the second quarter. He's only 22 short of Culpepper's record!

In the wake of this loss, the Broncos are now 5-7, just a game ahead of the Raiders. The same Raiders who gave the ball to Denver at midfield because they missed on a 58-yard field goal in the second quarter. The thing is, Oakland's supposed to be pathetic. That's who they are. The Broncos should be better than this.

New York Giants 21, Chicago Bears 16:
So, who's the No. 1 pick, and who's the bum who didn't give his team a shot in the Super Bowl? In the first quarter, Rex Grossman was 8-of-8 for 81 yards and a touchdown. Eli Manning, meanwhile, was 3-of-5 for 30 yards and a pick.

I'm not sure how New York came back and won with Manning under center. The Giants even ran twice on third-and-long in the first half, as they were scared Manning would either commit a turnover or make another inaccurate commercial about watches. Eli Manning, unstoppable? Unstoppable at what, throwing untimely interceptions?

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 27, New Orleans Saints 23:
Who is Luke McCown? Is he related Cade McNown? And how was he able to start 14-of-14 for 201 yards? At this point, the Saints secondary should join the 1972 Dolphins in their mass suicide once New England finishes 19-0.

I questioned the Buccaneers' legitimacy because they didn't have any quality road victories going into this game. Their two wins were over the Panthers and Falcons. Well, I would say that this triumph makes them legitimate. The Saints, despite their 5-7 record, aren't that bad. The key is that Tampa Bay got the job done without Jeff Garcia.

That said, Tampa Bay was one decision away from losing this game. Down three points, Jon Gruden eschewed a 45-yard field goal on a 4th-and-1, and ran the ball instead. Earnest Graham picked up the first down, leading to Tampa Bay's decisive touchdown about a minute later. I always knew Chucky was crazy, and even though I'd love to have him as my coach, pulling that move just proved how much of a lunatic he is.

Pittsburgh Steelers 24, Cincinnati Bengals 10:
I'm sick of hearing that the Bengals have so much talent. They suck - and it's because their "talent" has a worse attitude than your average 14-year-old female. Chad Johnson cares more about his image that winning; T.J. Houshmandzadeh spends way too much time complaining; while Chris Henry is a big fan of Dakota Fanning, if you know what I mean. Houshmandzadeh was especially frustrating on Sunday night, when he dropped an easy touchdown that could have trimmed Pittsburgh's lead to seven. Johnson, meanwhile, was OK until the final play of the game, when he ran back to the huddle, only to realize his team turned the ball over on downs.

However, Cincinnati's 4-8 record is more than a product of the receivers being stupid. The team as a whole is dumb. A Bengals safety of Ben Roethlisberger was nullified by a Leon Hall holding penalty. Later in the fourth quarter, Pittsburgh was granted a first down on a punting situation because Dexter Jackson jumped offsides.

Oh, and by saying "Chris Henry is a big fan of Dakota Fanning," I meant that he loves the movie War of the Worlds. What do you think I was inferring?

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