Detroit Lions 44, Denver Broncos 7:
I don't even know what to say about this. The Broncos are garbage. 44-7!? How do you score only seven against the Lions? Even Ally McBeal, "It's the Mirrors" Girl, Chad Pennington, Manny Ramirez, Rex Grossman and six middle-schoolers could probably get two or three touchdowns against Detroit.

To be fair, Jay Cutler was hurt on a sack where he had no pass protection whatsoever. The Broncos had no chance with Patrick Ramsey at the helm. Ramsey, without a doubt, is one of the five worst backup quarterbacks in the league. Steve Spurrier liked him, so how can he not suck? I'm surprised Mike Shanahan doesn't have Shane Matthews and Danny Awful on his roster.

How much does Ramsey suck? Well, aside from the pick-six he threw to a defensive tackle, check out this play, courtesy of

1-10 DEN5 (11:23) T.Sauerbrun punts 3 yards to DEN 8, Center-M.Leach, fair catch by T.Walters.

Congratulations, Ramsey. You're so horrible Shanahan decided to punt on first down. (I know that was an error, but it's more fun to believe this actually happened.)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 17, Arizona Cardinals 10:
I recently commented that the Cardinals should hire someone to make sure Kurt Warner brings his wheelchair, walker and backgammon game with him on road trips. Apparently, they didn't listen to my advice. Midway through the second quarter, Warner was 3-of-13, 63 yards and a pick. Warner scored a touchdown toward the end of the game, only after Ken Whisenhunt sent one of his assistants to Toys R Us to pick up Warner's favorite board game. However, it was too late, and the Cardinals lost.

Neither the Buccaneers nor the Cardinals fumbled in this contest. How weird is that? You figure a backgammon-less Warner would have coughed up the football five or six times.

I thought the Buccaneers were the ones who couldn't run the ball. Earnest Graham totaled 124 yards and a touchdown on 34 carries. Edgerrin James, meanwhile, had seven yards on six rushes at the half.

The real reason why Tampa Bay won this game? No turnovers and a time-of-possession victory of 43:07 to 16:53. Jeff Garcia did a great job moving the chains all afternoon, converting 12-of-21 third downs. Arizona was 2-of-10 in those situations.

Tennessee Titans 20, Carolina Panthers 7:
David Carr was sacked thrice in the first quarter. At the beginning of the second half, he was 6-of-11 for 26 yards, a pick and five sacks. Tennessee's defensive line finished with seven quarterback take-downs. Haven't we seen enough of Carr already? Where was Vinny Testaverde? I like John Fox as a coach, but he has to explain his Brian Billick-like obsession with a no-talent quarterback.

Vince Young marched the Titans down the field on his first drive, scoring on a 3-yard run. However, Young finished 14-of-23, 110 yards and two picks. Get ready for another week of people bashing Young despite his team being 6-2.

Buffalo Bills 33, Cincinnati Bengals 21:
When I ranked the Bills in my Bottom 10 last week, I stated that they should just go with Trent Edwards because he's their future. Well, considering how well J.P. Losman performed against the Bengals - 24-of-34, 295 yards, one touchdown and an interception - maybe he'll be the guy to play under center the next 10 years or so...

...Or maybe Cincinnati's defense sucks that much. The Bengals made Chad Pennington look like a Pro Bowler, so let's wait a week to go nuts about Girly Voice Man.

With 11 minutes remaining in the game, Buffalo had a 4th-and-1 on Cincinnati's 45. With Marshawn Lynch averaging 3.5 yards per carry against the Bengals, I thought the Bills would go for it, considering they was trailing at the time. Instead, they punted. I thought it was a poor decision at the time, but Buffalo's improving defense forced a three-and-out, setting up a score on the next drive.

Chad Johnson was carted off the field at the end of the game. It's currently unclear whether he'll be able to play anytime soon, but he had movement in his arms and legs, so chances are it won't be long until he's once again inducting himself into the Hall of Fame.

Green Bay Packers 33, Kansas City Chiefs 22:
I think everyone on TV let us know that Brett Favre has now beaten every team in the NFL. But what about the Packers? Yes, he defeated them as well - that crucial pick he threw against the Eagles in the playoffs really did Green Bay in.

Seriously though, I have no idea how Favre keeps doing this. When you win an emotional overtime game on Monday night and play as an underdog on the road six days later, you're supposed to lose. Instead, Favre easily throws for 360 yards and two scores in a double-digit victory.

New Orleans Saints 41, Jacksonville Jaguars 24:
The Jaguars' defense can be really good at times. But when they're bad, they're downright pathetic. How can a solid stop unit surrender 445 yards and three touchdowns to Drew Brees, and 41 points to an offense that struggled against the Falcons a few weeks ago?

And here I thought Quinn Gray would be Jacksonville's downfall. The Saints actually converted an onside kick after their first field goal. At the time I was scratching my head, as if I were Emmitt Smith attempting to read a children's guide to English grammar. Why do an onside kick against an offense that can't score? Just make them go three-and-out, right? But on the Jaguars' next possession, Gray threw an 80-yard bomb to Reggie Williams. I guess the Saints knew what they were doing, in case you couldn't tell by the final score.

Minnesota Vikings 35, San Diego Chargers 17:
So much to write... Where do I start? Let's go with the records. Congratulations to Adrian Peterson, who broke Jamal Lewis' single-game rushing touchdown record by one. Peterson totaled 296 yards against the Chargers. He now has 1,096 on the year, and is now on pace for 2,192 yards, which would break Eric Dickerson's single-season mark of 2,105.

Lost in this crazy game was Antonio Cromartie's 109-yard missed-field-goal return for a touchdown, the longest play in NFL history.

OK now that the technical stuff has been discussed, I have to say that Minnesota's 35-17 victory may have been the worst-coached game in NFL history. Seriously, if only Art Shell and Rich Kotite were co-head coaches or something.

I don't understand how Childress didn't have his team prepared for Cromartie's missed-field-goal return. Didn't the players watch Devin Hester last year? How could they not expect that to happen off a 58-yard attempt? Later, Childress used Chester Taylor instead of Peterson near the goal line in the third quarter when the game was still tied at 14. While Peterson probably would have scored, Taylor fumbled. I can understand mixing in Taylor in on occasion, but Peterson needs to carry the ball in the red zone in a close game.

But Childress was out-classed by Norv Turner, who once again forgot to give his best players the ball. LaDainian Tomlinson touched the ball 22 times, while Antonio Gates had only one catch. Even some guy with the first name of Legedu - no, not the jerk in Super Mario Brothers who throws porcupines at you from his cloud in the sky - had more receptions than Gates.

Another sign of poor coaching are the number of penalties a team commits. The Chargers actually had more penalty yards (67) than rushing yards (42).

How did the Chargers lose this game? They were 7-point favorites! And they were playing the worst quarterback in the NFL. Seriously, if I were a Vikings fan, I'd be scared to death every time Tarvaris Jackson drops back in the pocket. On one pass in the first quarter, Jackson had Peterson about five yards in front of him. Instead of completing an easy pass, Jackson overthrew the rookie running back by about four yards.

And as sad as it sounds, Jackson wasn't the worst quarterback on the field Sunday. At one point Rivers had 10 consecutive incompletions. I guess that's what happens when you throw to guys named Lakitu.

Atlanta Falcons 20, San Francisco 49ers 16:
I picked Atlanta in this game because the 49ers historically have struggled on the East Coast. Yet, the Falcons' defense allowed them to march down the field with Alex Smith, Michael Robinson and Maurice Hicks in the backfield.

I wrote those two sentences when the 49ers took a 7-0 lead. Give credit to Atlanta because San Francisco was held out of the end zone the rest of the afternoon.

Questions are going to arise now about Smith's capability to lead this franchise. He was 17-of-38, 149 yards and three picks against one fo the worst stop units in the NFL. Should the 49ers use a high draft pick on a quarterback? I can't blame them if they do, although I'd give Smith one more year and a legitimate No. 1 receiver first.

But if I'm Smith, I wouldn't worry too much about losing my job; with his small hands, he can be a hand model for baby food or diapers if he gets the pink slip.

Washington Redskins 23, New York Jets 20:
Jets fans should be pretty happy; their team performed well as an underdog but still preserved their great 2008 draft positioning. Most importantly, Kellen Clemens looked like the real deal.

Clemens is so much more fluid than Chad Pennington. His ability to escape from the pocket and scramble, and find open targets on the other side of the field is something Pennington lacks. Clemens also seems more like a leader, whereas Pennington does nothing but snobbishly insult the media and get picked last in a middle-school street game.

But let's talk about why the Jets are 1-8. The defense is garbage; Washington ran for a ridiculous 296 rushing yards. Meanwhile, the offense seems incomplete. Justin McCareins ruined a possible victory at Baltimore earlier this season. Brand Smith dropped an easy first down with three minutes remaining in regulation on Sunday. McCareins sucks, and while Smith is a nice weapon for Clemens, the Jets need better receivers.

Joe Gibbs made a great decision to attempt an onside kick after his team nailed a field goal in the first half to trim the lead to 17-6. I was actually thinking it would be a good idea for the stale Redskins to do that, so give credit to Gibbs for actually having the guts to take a shot.

Cleveland Browns 33, Seattle Seahawks 30:
I had to call the ambulance because I was having a heart attack. I had the Browns as my Week 9 survivor pick. Cleveland had to score a late touchdown, convert a 2-point conversion, evade a late Seattle surge to force a field goal instead of a touchdown, prevent the Seahawks from scoring first in overtime and hit a game-winning kick. The doctors say I'll be OK, but I have to eat bread and drink water the rest of my life. No more macaroni-and-cheese pizza with Doritos and cheese fries on the side for me. Son of a...

How about the Browns? They're 5-3! They can't possibly trade Derek Anderson now, can they? Anderson, who was 29-of-48 for 364 yards and a pick, is without a doubt, the real deal. I'd consider dealing Brady Quinn before sending Anderson to Minnesota or Chicago.

As for the Seahawks, one guy they desperately need to get rid of as soon as possible is Shaun Alexander. The Browns were 26th against the run going into this game, yet Alexander had just 32 yards on 14 carries. Mike Holmgren benched him in favor of Maurice Morris, who had 55 yards on nine rushes. I'm not sure if Alexander is scared or lazy, but what he's been doing is simply flopping down on the ground before he's about to get hit. In other words, he's running like a little girl prancing through a flower garden.

Houston Texans 24, Oakland Raiders 17:
I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't watch a second of this game. I didn't even follow it on's Gamecenter. Between studying the Browns-Seahawks and Patriots-Colts, I didn't feel as though covering this contest was important. To go along with that, NBC's Keith Olberman had a great line Sunday night. During the highlights, he said, "This is actual evidence this game was played."

New England Patriots 24, Indianapolis Colts 20:
Although I got my pick wrong, I'm sort of glad this game lived up to its billing, and wasn't the 45-24 blowout I predicted it to be.

I watched Super Bowl 41.5 with my dad. If my window were open, my neighbors would have heard a 54-year-old man shouting, "This game is fixed! This game is fixed!" Let's look at the facts. In the first quarter, an official made Bill Belichick use one of his challenges on an extremely obvious play where Aaron Moorehead was clearly out of bounds. Later, Ellis Hobbs was whistled for a 40-yard pass interference even though he never touched Reggie Wayne. In the second half, Randy Moss was penalized on a phantom offensive pass interference.

It seemed as though the officials did everything in their power to keep the Patriots from winning by six. But that's crazy, right? A referee would never fix the outcome or the point spread of a game, right?

Regardless, the fact remains the Patriots won by four despite accumulating the most penalty yards in a single game in the history of their franchise (146). I know the Colts didn't have Marvin Harrison or Tony Ugoh, but the officials apparently made up for it.

Moving away from the larceny angle, did anyone find it odd that the Colts wanted to make this game a slugfest, while the Patriots preferred a shootout? A complete reversal of what this rivalry was over the first six years.

There wasn't much scoring, especially in the first half, so both defenses apparently played well. Phil Simms thought so when he said the following with his patented upspeak, "We were expecting a high-scoring game... Both defenses being sound..." Yet, at that point, the Patriots and Colts combined for one punt. Neither stop unit played terribly, but I wouldn't say either really dominated.

Brady is now 7-3 against Peyton Manning. He threw his 31st, 32nd and 33rd touchdowns on Sunday. He's now on pace for 59 scores, which would shatter Peyton Manning's mark of 49.

Dallas Cowboys 38, Philadelphia Eagles 17:
The Eagles suck. This matchup was tailor-made for them to pull an upset; the Cowboys, who hadn't played a good game since beating up on the Rams the first week of October, had the Giants next Sunday. This game meant everything for Philadelphia and almost nothing to Dallas. This loss exposed a lot of rotten things in the Eagles' organization. Here are a few:

Andy Reid: It's impossible to prepare for an NFL game when you have two sons being sentenced to jail. The Eagles once again had no game plan. The three contests following some sort of arrest or sentence pertaining to one of Reid's sons, Philadelphia is 0-3. He needs to step aside for now. He and his sons are dragging the Eagles down into the NFL cellar.

Donovan McNabb: He's done. He can't scramble. He's inaccurate. As I said last offseason, he should have been traded to Minnesota or Chicago. McNabb is nothing more than a mediocre quarterback at this stage of his career.

No Help: Kevin Curtis, Reggie Brown and L.J. Smith. What do they have in common? They're all garbage compared to Terrell Owens, Donte' Stallworth and Jason Witten. It's clear now that the Eagles got rid of the wrong person in the McNabb-Owens feud. They've also been exposed as a cheap squad, refusing to re-sign last year's No. 1 wide out. As for Witten, I pleaded for Philadelphia to draft him a few years ago on this site. They didn't listen, taking Smith instead. The Eagles deserved to get torched by Tony Romo, Owens and Witten on Sunday night.

Dumb Drafting: Aside from the Witten blunder, the Eagles have botched countless draft picks this decade. Jerome McDougle, Freddie Mitchell, Matt McCoy and Chris Gocong are just some of the horrendous high selections Philadelphia has made. And I'd like to include Kevin Kolb in that list. Not that I think Kolb's going to be a bust; it's just that by taking a young quarterback so high, the Eagles, by neglecting to add a potential key component to their roster, gave up on this season.

Why didn't Kolb play at the end of the Dallas game? When will McNabb finally be benched? What will it take to get Reid to step down? Until the Eagles answer these questions, they're going to keep on disappointing.

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