NFL Trolling – December 2014

NFL Trolling – December 2014

NFL Trolling: Sept. 2015 | Oct. 2015 | Dec. 2015
Sept. 2014 | Oct. 2014 | Nov. 2014 | Dec. 2014
Sept. 2013 | Oct. 2013 | Nov. 2013 | Dec. 2013 | Playoffs
Sept. 2012 | Oct. 2012 | Nov. 2012 | Dec. 2012 | Jan. 2013
This is a compilation of my trolling attempts on NFL.com that I’ve posted on my NFL Picks and NFL Power Rankings pages. Follow me on Twitter @walterfootball for contest updates.

I used to love making fun of GameCenter comments. The people on there were such idiots. There were even perverts like Aaron3619, who always asked chicks for their pictures so that he could carry them around. I planned to mess with Aaron3619 as a fake user named TexasGirl1234, but NFL.com shut down its GameCenter and implemented Facebook comments instead. This enraged me, so get revenge, I made a fake Facebook account named Mario Migelini to troll people. Other readers followed suit and made fake accounts of their own.

Week 17 Trolling:

Another week, another set of troll posts from Mario Migelini. I tried to convince Cardinal fans that their team hadn’t qualified for the playoffs, but didn’t have much luck:

I arrived too late, unfortunately, as I didn’t get to increase my votes to appear higher. This generated some responses:

I feel like I write this every week, but people like Dustin Moore suck at life. If people don’t find this funny, that’s fine, but why do you need to block him? Are Mario’s posts so devastating to your existence that your life will improve infinitely if you don’t see them anymore? I don’t understand this. At least someone like Justin Wayne Weber has a sense of humor, unlike Dustin Moore.

One last post:

Speaking of people who have no sense of humor, Bennet Vis is back, and he’s douchier than ever. Creepy, too. “I really want to know the inner workings of the brain” … “What chemistry in his brain makes him want to do this???” Doesn’t that scream serial killer to you? It does to me. I’m sure Hannibal Lecter wondered about chemistry in people’s brains before he ate them. Bennet is probably talking to his dog right now, devising a way to kill me.

Well, Bennet, if you read this site again, here’s the answer: I… uhh… get paid for doing this. So there it is. Chemistry problem solved. Plus, it’s fun. It’s no “Shakesperean-level type wit,” whatever the hell that means, but I don’t exactly put maximum effort into doing this. Perhaps the lack of effort makes Mario Migelini more impressive than the overrated Bill Shakespeare. That’s something for Bennet to ponder while he’s munching on his neighbor’s brain.

Week 16 Trolling:

Another week, another set of troll posts from Mario Migelini. I got someone to use another language:

Fail on John Bostwick on two counts. First, he sounds like a complete loser trying to spoil all the fun. As with the other guy I mentioned a few weeks ago, John is one of those douches with no sense of humor. He tattled on you in the school yard for doing the slightest thing wrong, and he’s the guy no one likes in the office who goes to HR to complain about the slightest inappropriate thing. Those like John Bostwick make the world a worse place.

Second, he’s just wrong because it is working:

See, John? Not everyone is an uptight, know-it-all douche with no sense of humor.

That said, I’ve commented on being compared to “JaJa Binks” before. I really need to get on setting up a new trolling account. That’s how much “JaJa Binks” sucks.

One last post:

Ha! Edgar Martinez might be too old to play baseball, but he cracked me up quite a bit with that post.

Week 15 Trolling:

Another week, another set of troll posts from Mario Migelini, beginning with this short one:

I was hoping more people would comment on the fact that I suggested trading the No. 1 pick for Tim Tebow and Tarvaris Jackson being a good idea, but people instead began arguing with Jonathan Hilfiker.

Fortunately, there were better threads:

Of course Mario knows what he’s saying. Best Buy didn’t make him a “managor” for nothing!

Time to bring up Mario’s deported brother Taton again.

I’m glad Thomas Walsh thinks I can make Seahawk fans look good! Unfortunately, Brian Green pointed out that I was a fake. I want my next troll profile to seem very real. I think I’m going to bring back Vivian Williamson and make her into a crazy Falcon fan who thinks her team should “trade for Michael Vick because he a class act.” That should anger some Atlanta supporters.

Meanwhile, Mario defies the laws of football and sparks an argument:

Meanwhile, I feel the need to apologize to Bennet Vis. He blew my cover a few weeks ago, and I was hard on him. However, I have to thank him for starting up this thread to discuss Mario:

I’ll have a new trolling profile soon, but I definitely need to keep this one after being compared to Jar-Jar Binks.

Week 14 Trolling:

More trolling this week from Mario Migelini, of course, with some thoughts on Thanksgiving:

Poor Mario. At least this brought a Seahawk and a 49er fan together, for once. Let’s all hope that Taton Migelini is able to come back to America safely.

Can I unite more Seahawk and 49er fans?

As much as I love being told that I have rocks in my mouth, I loved Kyle’s post that had people so enraged.

My favorite thing, is getting people to insult Best Buy: