I used to love making fun of GameCenter comments. The people on there were such idiots. There were even perverts like Aaron3619, who always asked chicks for their pictures so that he could carry them around. I actually met my ex-girlfriend, Awesome Girl Who Loves Football, this way. We exchanged e-mails about Aaron3619 and then hit it off, ultimately meeting in July 2012.
I planned to mess with Aaron3619 as a fake user named TexasGirl1234, but NFL.com shut down its GameCenter and implemented Facebook comments instead. This enraged me, so get revenge, I made a fake Facebook account named Mario Migelini to troll people. Other readers followed suit and made fake accounts of their own.
You know how we've had a crazy amount of lightning-related delays this season? Well, some people, like FortyFour Onine, are tired of it. He called it a "scam delay." Vivian Williamson didn't take too kindly to this:
The "Vivian Williamson is a tard" comment made me laugh, but I was disappointed no one noticed that I called it "lighting" instead of lightning until King Jabba-Binks. Of course, he offered up a racial comment in return, which is always welcome.
Here's some actual football talk:
I'm pleased to see that people are beginning to notice that Vivian Williamson is a bit obsessed with QB Dog Killer. Just wait until you see what I have in store later in the year.
I feel like Vivian has to defend Andy Reid from people calling him fat.
I'm eager to find out how many "young mans" I can fit into one post. I'll do something to trump this later in the year.
Meanwhile, there is a new troller I found named BigBaby Jesus. This cracked me up:
I love how people took the time to post arguments against "Da Sean Jackson gon have like tre hundo yds" and "KC has sucked since Dey let go Herm dat wuz one big mess up."
Here's another one from BigBabyJesus in an ESPN NBA article:
And, of course, we need something from Wallor Cherplinski:
I love it when people take these trollers seriously. It makes my day.
Here's one final thread from Vivian Williamson. It's super long, but it's good for a ton of lulz.
Week 3 Trolling:
When I saw some "cool" high school kid busting on someone's mom, I, as Vivian Williamson, had to step in:
Thank you, Jeff. God bless me, indeed!
By the way, Jeremy Jones' statement that "43 people have liked my comment to your person" is hilarious. Oooooooohhhh he has sooooo many likes he's like soooooo coooool!
This Jeremy Jones character went out of his way to correct all of my grammatical errors...
I skipped Jeremy Jones' second correction because I wanted to save that until the end. He didn't stop at No. 3 either. His fourth attempt asked me to go away forever. Yeah, right.
Jeremy Jones was too frustrated with me to put together a fifth list. Guess you can't learn about trolling while being homeschooled, am i rite?
I love how I get mixed feedback on this. Timmy thinks I'm smoking a crack pipe. Ben thinks I'm Jamaican. Asante, meanwhile, asked everyone to leave me alone. It's a shame that the nicer people on NFL.com are the ones who are the most naive about my trolling attempts.
Anyway, I saved Jeremy Jones' second list because I wanted to point out a post that someone named Sean Lynch made. He made a post directed specifically toward me, though he misspelled my name:
Yes! Everyone attack this Jeremy Jones homeschooled racist douche! Especially you, Jesse, who says I'm a "grown woman" whose family is being insulted. Thank you for defending my honor!
Want more racism? Well, you've come to the right place!
I initially wasn't mad at all with Tina because as we all know, hot chicks can be racist. But then I stalked Tina's Facebook profile and realized that she wasn't hot. So bad, Tina! That's a bad Tina!
Let's finish up with a prediction of the Broncos-Giants game:
"This post just gave me cancer" has to be one of the best responses ever.
Week 2 Trolling:
Here's some Eagle homerism from Vivian Williamson:
Perhaps my favorite feedback post ever is "Where you frozen during last year???"
Here's a much longer thread. I had some fun calling QB Dog Killer a "class act" a couple of weeks ago (scroll down to see that below). Let's do it again!
I'm so happy that so many people are still anti-QBDK despite ESPN shoving him down our throats.
One more Vivian post: This one is more comical.
I love how many people took this seriously. And what's wrong with doing community college at 40 or 50? What a dick.
Meanwhile, Mario Migelini offered his predictions in the Jets-Bucs contest:
Well, I suppose all Tebow does is win tetherball games in his new league.
Here are some posts from other trollers. Ryan Reef caused some trouble in the Raiders-Colts thread:
I love how Benjamin Fordham defended Ryan because English isn't his first language.
Here's Cerlis Marlin in the Jets-Bucs page:
Week 1 Trolling:
Here are some trolling attempts from myself and others during the preseason.
I had Vivian Williamson open up with a slightly controversial comment:
Hmm... kinda thinking those people don't quite agree with Miss Vivian.
I had some other posts from Miss Vivian in this thread, but they seem to have disappeared. Here's the only other one I could locate:
I've been asked, and I honestly have no idea who Wallor Cheplinski is. Hilarious though.
Here's some Mario Migelini:
Wow. Banished from the 12th Man? That's pretty harsh. All Mario was doing was defending his team!
Here are some posts by other trollers:
I love how people either take these guys seriously or think that they're mentally retarded.
And now these guys all think that Montana is full of nothing but imbeciles...